psalm_onethirtyone: (The Perfect Pool)
Got my Yuletide assignment yesterday. It's pretty cool and I think there is a lot of potential in it, and I think I also can do a good job with it -- certain elements of it weird me out, but the prompter gave me a lot to work with so I think I leave some things out while still giving them what they want. So I am excited!

I go home to-day for Thanksgiving, so I'll be scarce for the next week.

Linkspam!:

A presenter in my cog psych class used this page about art by autistic people in his presentation, and I thought that was pretty neat, so here is the link. It is pretty cool from both an art and a mental shenanigans standpoint. (I also ended up talking about the gender issues surrounding autism with the professor after class, which was pretty neat -- she agreed with [livejournal.com profile] mhari and said that autism is generally viewed as a "boy's disorder" and not something girls are supposed to get.)

Octopodes can go on land and that is totally awesome. Plus also super cute.

Although we already knew that, Ann Coulter is a maniac and I don't understaaaand, Jesus. I don't want to live on this planet any more? Liz said I should move to Canada, but I feel it is my duty to model sane Christianity for people in America.

I am currently using this programme to try and manage my issues with computer light = migraines; I've only had it downloaded for a day, so I haven't got a real clear idea of how well it works yet, but it's an interesting idea.

This tumblr exists and it is pretty pro -- Ugly Renaissance Babies.

A really interesting essay/article on why "born this way" is a bad argument for queerness.

This guy is my hero -- a devout Muslim whose faith led him to try to save the man who shot him. I heard an interview with him on NPR on Sunday -- he was really incredible. Warning: Article contains pictures of headshot.

For your webcomic organising needs, piperka is a great site for tracking updates and keeping stuff neat.

Finally, when you have just delivered a good Caruso zinger, the instant CSI. Yeahhhhh!
psalm_onethirtyone: (Therefore Be Free)
Ohay giez, I put a fic up for auction at [livejournal.com profile] thepurpledove here. :D

Also, I am writing too much Sherlock fic what even.

Siiiiiigh.
psalm_onethirtyone: (Found Myself!)
Last Tuesday I learned that my preschool teacher, Miss Stacy, was held at gunpoint and sexually assaulted on her wedding day.

In response, she started an agency that provides assistance to victims of trauma, from helping a Iraq war veteran with PTSD find counselling after the death of two of his children in a fire on Christmas, to finding a foster home for an abused baby, to providing medical care for a mentally retarded homeless man some folks found in a truck in the woods last winter. One of her biggest goals is to get her clients to a point where they can join in the helping: thus the veteran offered his spare camper as a temporary home for the homeless man while the agency found a place for him to live.

So, people are pretty amazing, I guess.

She offered me a volunteer position. It's a forty-five minute drive, but I kind of think I should take it. You know? There's not a whole lot of time left in the summer, and it seems like it might be more important to do this than to sit in on Daphne's meetings in her air-conditioned office two days a week. And it was such a coincidence to meet her--went with Daphne to talk about ways to get money/support/useful information for a shelter for domestic violence victims in Perry County, since Miss Stacy has been running her agency for a long time and knows who to contact and what's feasible and what's not (she even knows which restaurants will give leftover food/free food to people if the Food Bank is unavailable and was hooking someone up with one such restaurant when we came in), and she just happened to recognise me--anyway, if it weren't such a tricky theological thingy and a statement that makes me seriously uncomfortable, I might be tempted to say it was purposeful.

Which, granted, it is so hard to know what is just ordinary life coincidence and what is God saying HEY YOU DO THAT OKAY. There are never any angels or sparkles, which would make it SO much easier. But.

Should I give up my internship to volunteer with this agency, or should I keep the internship since it is providing some practical experience and will certainly look good on my resume?
psalm_onethirtyone: (Clock Sheep!)
So, guys, you probably know that [livejournal.com profile] mhari's father died the day before Thanksgiving. It was completely unexpected and their family was in no way prepared--he went into the hospital with a slight fever, got an infection in his heart, and had to have emergency surgery without having time to get off his blood-thinners, and as a result he bled out during the surgery.

Currently her family is. Not doing well financially. They don't have a source of steady income, and their mom (my Other Mom) suffers from clinical depression and will have a really hard time finding a job.

Now is a really important time for them to be able to keep things together from a monetary standpoint while they're grieving and dealing with the aftermath, and with that in mind, it's time for a fanfic drive.

So you probably can guess the drill! I will write a hundred words of anything you like per five dollars donated, ad nauseam. I write Arthurian (in many incarnations), Les Mis, Westmark, Biblefic, some Firefly, Star Trek TOS, X-Men: Evolutions, and any and all crossovers of the above. I'm good for het, slash, and gen. I will even (God help me) continue the great Gawain-is-a-Vampire Romance Novel. You name your price, my friends.

Please feel free to pimp this to anyone you know who also knows [livejournal.com profile] mhari, as I am nowhere near friends with all her friends.






psalm_onethirtyone: (This is My Way out of This)
I will say that one thing about this sickness is that you do learn about the goodness of other people. I tried to go to Kwanzaa to-day, because I promised Jewel that I would way back in October, but when I got there I had another anxiety attack, and had to go out into the hall, where I hid behind a coatrack and started crying.

And after a while a boy came out and sat down beside me and talked to me and got me something to eat (I hadn't eaten all day) and asked me what he could do and basically missed most of the event from sitting with me. He gave me a piece of cloth he had so that I had something I could pull on and mess with, because my hands are always shaky and jittery and crazy when I'm having an anxiety attack. He told me all about his job (he's not actually a student here, he came to see his girlfriend, who is) and his family and told me dirty jokes to try to make me laugh. I was so messed up I couldn't even look at his face for most of it.

And then he said he really wanted me to see the step dancing team, because his girlfriend was on it, so he told me to stand right outside the door where I could see them, but I wouldn't have to be in with all the noise and the people. He even got me a chair.

The thing is, he didn't know me, I didn't know him, and I'll probably never see him again, but he took the time to try to make things better for me, and it really meant a lot. So I'm still feeling pretty gross, and my headache really hasn't gone away, but I've eaten something, at least, and people can be really, really so good.

That makes me love them.
psalm_onethirtyone: (Mine has SPACE PRIESTS)
This makes me so, so happy.
psalm_onethirtyone: (Clock Sheep!)
Omg. A post that's not about being sick!

Because, even though I am definitely still sick, and losing my voice besides, I actually got out of bed and did things instead of feeling sorry for myself all day!

...Where by things I mean homework and spending three hours at Unity House working on the Pinwheels for Peace project, but that's okay. It was really nice. Toria and Andy and Stephen and I sat around and cut out a million and a half pinwheels that people had coloured during the week, and put them together, and to-morrow Toria and Andy are going to line the main walk on campus with them for International Day of Peace. It's going to be really, really pretty, and I have a sneaking suspicion that I'm going to go around and photograph all of the ones I did, because I'm obnoxious like that.

Also I spent two hours sitting at the very corner of the Sunderland quad with Erin and Liz talking about sexuality and invisible illnesses (Liz has some sort of disastrous arthritis-like condition and Erin and I have mental illnesses). There is something these experiences when you just create or discuss or explode with language that feels very grown-up at the same time it feels very naive and unlike the world.

Half an hour ago Kat and Katie and Sarah kidnapped me and drove us to Sheetz, which I normally boycott, and they bought ice cream and Sarah got jelly beans and I got Gatorade and a cup of noodly hot soup, which my throat is very happy about. It was completely impulsive and I was in my pajamas.

The good thing about being sick is that I literally have had no time to be depressed. I don't mean to imply that you can be nondepressed by staying busy--I hate when people say that--but my head has been filled with this unending mantra of 'oh god I hate being sick' and it's driven everything else out. I haven't wanted to self-injure since this started. I haven't had that feeling of being wrapped up in concrete. I don't know, maybe when your body is fighting so hard to push off sickness, when everything is being directed towards that one goal, there's nothing to spare for anything else. I am just making things up, of course.

My arm is covered with blue and red and gold paint from Stephen's paint pens, which I was using to make pinwheels. I am hoping to wake up to-morrow without a fever.
psalm_onethirtyone: (Slightly Confuzzled - Holly Brook)
So to-day was tolerably insane.

Maria and I went to St. Barnabas' to volunteer this morning, which I think we've done for about four years now--it's really fun, basically it's a week-long summer camp for teeny inner-city kids and "volunteering" is code for "cooking them nommy foods and watching them run around and terrorise the church ladies which is deeply satisfying". And for a couple of years we've had the misfortune to be doing our shift on the same day as these two kind of awful ladies from church who pretty much spend the whole time complaining that the kids are poor so they should eat whatever they get and be grateful for it, and claim that food allergies are just the kids trying to take advantage of something idek it's very weird and entitled and bitchy. To-day the kids were going out to one of the state camps in Halifax to go swimming and do recreational stuff and so we packed them lunches instead of cooking them a hot lunch to eat at the Lutheran church in Harrisburg. So while Maria and I were putting sandwiches in their lunch bags, we noticed that whoever had started packing them before us had left the price tag on every single item of food already packed.

And then we both expended great self-restraint and instead of slamming our heads repeatedly against the wall we went through and picked every single individual price tag off all of the foods.

It probably wasn't anybody's fault or intentional or anything, it's just that after an hour of listening to reasonably well-off older white women complain about what a cross to bear it is to make food for these kids I was about at the end of my patience and. yeah.

Hilariously, one of the kids did come up to Maria and tell her she reminded him of Darth Vader; she pushed her baseball cap down over her face and made horrible breathing noises.

After St. Barnabas' we went to the doctor's because Maria needed a bunch of shots prior to going to college. And she kind of mentioned that she doesn't like shots; what she failed to tell me is that she gets sick when she gets shots. She was acting a little strained while we were leaving and as soon as we were outside she told me she was going to throw up and started sobbing. So I drove her home. I just. I am such a total weenie and I cry over everything and I make a big deal about the littlest injuries, but I have no problem whatsoever with shots and actually enjoy giving blood. And Maria is this tough, strong farm girl with biceps the size of large rocks who can handle pretty much any situation, and she was a total mess. So I told her jokes and played her favourite CD and she was mostly okay when we got home, although she was nauseous for the rest of the day.

But she and Mama hung out during the afternoon, which I think made her feel better. I went and holed up in my room with a movie.

Aaaand then in the evening we drove up to Mama's coworker's house to get Ando! Only instead of Ando we ended up getting Spock and McCoy. They are two of the teensiest, fluffiest little grey furballs you ever saw, with little sweet faces and blue eyes. Spock has shorter fur and stays very calm most of the time and was okay with being smacked at by Hiro, whereas McCoy has really long silky fur and she is a total wreck. She hid under the radiator as soon as we got home. However! I pulled her out and snuggled her all during our family movie time this evening and by the time it was over she was drooped over me like a puddlecat. Her nickname is Tube Sock and Spock's is Pancake; these are fairly apt physical descriptions. Hiro does not like them, but I think he will learn to cope. Maggie has already figured out that they are not single servings of kitten nuggets and is contenting herself with eating all their food when I'm not looking.

And now! I have had all of three hours' sleep last night, been up since six-thirty this morning, run to Harrisburg, Duncannon, Newport, and Dalmatia, and dear lord I am so tired I can barely see. But we made the swing we've been talking about for two years yesterday, and it's wonderful.

I told Mama Tuesday, food is like religion. It is neither good or bad. It has no moral value. It just is. The only way you can make it good or bad is through use and interpretation. Calories just are. They exist. I ate food to-day. There's nothing wrong with that. On the other hand, I should probably stop having granny smith apples, because they make my teeth ache like to die.
psalm_onethirtyone: (Try Again To-morrow)
O, flist, what did I do to-day? I will give you a hint: it was disgusting. I will give you another hint: it involved maggots. I will give you a third hint: it involved turkeys, and their nests, and their habit of squashing their eggs and then sitting on them anyway.

O, flist, I may never be the same.

On the plus side, finally watched the Merlin episode I have had on my computer for months and months and months, and it was hilarious. Oh, Mr. Siddig, you are the love of my life, you and your goofiness and your hawt hawt beard and your clearly hamming it up for the camera liek whoa, and your shortness and how cute you look with scars and furs. Ee eee eee. Also, Arthur was a dork and I have to say that the chainmail was not flattering. But CUTE. But MR. SIDDIG. Eeee. "RARR RARR I AM A BIG SCARY VILLAIN AND I WILL BE ALL VILLAINOUS AND SMACK BABIES! HA HA! SMACK SMACK! CHECK OUT MY RAD BARBARIAN ARMOUR. NOW I WILL DO SOME PILLAGING!" ♥ ♥ guh.

Also, have kind of a crush on Sendil Ramamurthy.

I need to bicycle to-morrow. Something in the open air, fast and fresh and flying and far, far away from maggoty nesting boxes. I'm so tired of stagnation. I want to be fleet.
psalm_onethirtyone: (Gotta Surface Soon)
DEAR ELJAY FLIST.

I AM MAKING A FUNDRAISER (zomg). There is a boy at my school who is in Dire Financial Straits due to his parents disowning him for being Gay. And he is paying for school By Himself. And he is out of money. So I am selling myself. Or, specifically, my writings.

Same as usual, five dollars for a hundred words, ad nauseam.

I WRITE: Arthurian, Westmark, PotC, Greek Myth, DF canon, DM canon, Britannia-NY (Britannia!) canon, Forgotten-Gods canon, Les Mis if pressured :P, many other horrible things if I am at all familiar with the canon.








Yay? ...! :D
psalm_onethirtyone: (Secret Garden)
Look what I made! Now I have something to link to for all major holidays &c. ^__^

But in honour of my making it, I would like to do a special promotion-y thing.

So if you donate to Heifer Project on my registry or off, and comment here with a comment saying how much you donated, I will write that many times ten words of whatever horrific, twisted, brain-scarring, soul-searing fic you can possibly come up with. Whatever you want. If you donated twenty dollars, I will write two hundred words. Of ANYTHING. Of PORN, for heaven's sake. I will write you Rosencrantz and Guildenstern PORN. I am JUST THAT SERIOUS.

Please, please think about donating. ♥ It's a really good thing. Don't forget to comment...!
psalm_onethirtyone: (Flowergirl)
I just woke up. ^^ I sort of literally collapsed at four o'clock and I've been sleeping ever since. Which--I know I'm not supposed to take naps, Zara! But I was walking into doors and having trouble talking coherently, so I think I was addled enough I actually needed to. ^^ I've been sort of getting five hours sleep every night lately.

So I slept to-day--

Except that I got up at seven and went to innercity, to a church in the Bad Part of Town where our church has been making breakfast and lunch for these teeny little hungry kids for the last few years--it's basically, they go to church camp and they get free food. And it's pretty good free food, since Tony, who organises it, ran a pizza parlour for twenty years and knows what he's doing as far as cooking goes. So we made them kajillions of scrambled egg and bacon sandwiches this morning, and Tony made me cut the crusts off every single sandwich, because he pointed out that kids hate crusts. I don't know whether this holds true for all kids--I know I liked crusts when I was little--but I obeyed, and cut crusts off of five loaves of bread. (It was magic bread! Every time I thought we were out somebody would produce another loaf out of nowhere!)

And then we took a short break, and I went to Barnes&Noble and read Fantastic Four comics and bought Waen a book about Harley Davidsons, since that's her new hobby.

Then it was back to the church and we made pizzas. We made, good lord, we made eleven pizzas, and the kids ate them all but two, one of which went home with me and one with the lady who gave me a ride home. There were maybe twenty-four kids total. Anyway, after pizza there was ice cream, and Ann and I went out and sat at the tables with them while everybody had ice cream, and I got into a long discussion with a boy who couldn't talk, which--I figured out pretty early that I couldn't figure out his hand gestures, because I fail, so I got a pen and paper out of my bag and he wrote to me and I answered back. And there was this little girl who was absolutely minuscule, and she kept touching my jewellery (I wear a lot of bracelets and shinies, because I am Vain as Anything), and I asked her which was her favourite and she liked the pink one, so I gave it to her. It was too big, but I told her she'd probably grow into it. And then the boy, whose name was Mike, was all OMG YOU GAVE IT TO HER. And I said ^^ Yes, well, she liked it. And he said I LIKE YOUR NECKLACE. And I said Nooo, my necklaces aren't for give, sorry. <3 Because my necklace is my cross Mum gave me for a confirmation present. He was kind of disappointed, but he still gave me big hugs before they left.

And then I got a ride home, and she DROVE THROUGH RED LIGHTS and I did not breathe much on that drive, and then I was home and Waen and I made an octopus cake. It looks awesome. It's Waen's first ever all-by-herself cake, actually, and it turned out great, which is really good. <333 And she's really happy with it. And after we did that I fell over.

So to-morrow we go to Wellesboro to stay with cousin Anne for the fourth of July, because they have pretty fireworks in Wellesboro and she likes us to be there. Which means I get to wear the sheep nightshirt again. Which will be win.

Hey, Taira, lovey? Happy birthday. ♥ I hope it was everything beautiful. I love you.
psalm_onethirtyone: (Open the Legend)
Me = coping.

To-day I cleaned my room and my closet. I have over fifteen bags of clothes and cloth to donate to Goodwill and The Salvation Army. It's kind of awful. Except that I'm almost pleased, because I tend to by pretties, and then when I donate them they're still pretties, but they're much less expensive pretties. And that means people who aren't as lucky as I am get to have pretties at affordable prices. A lot of the clothes are from when I weighed a lot less, and they're beautiful and amazing. They're from when I was confidant enough about my body to want to wear things that really stood out, like I had this black velvet dress with a gauzy plunging neckline with a diamond stud at the V, but I'd never dare wear it ever again, so I put that in. And hopefully someone will find it and want it and actually be able to afford it since it will not be the whatever obscene amount I probably originally paid for it (I think twenty-five or thirty dollars. as a rule I try never to buy anything over ten dollars). So that was good.

And now my room is clean, and so is my closet.

And I watched First Knight, and I have to say I kind of quite liked it, even when it was awful. Sean Connery makes a nice King Marmalade. He's sort of dignified. I like Sean Connery. ^^ Of course, he was old enough to be Guenevere's grandfather, but. And Gwen was good, too. She was young and fresh-faced and wore time-period-appropriate clothes and underwear (we got to see her underwear! Evil Prince Not!Mordred tore off her dress at one point!). And she was cute and a good actress, I thought. And she kept trying to resist Lance's overtures of moronic. Because he was awful. He kept going "LOOK I SAVED YOUR LIFE. SLEEP WITH ME. ^_________^" and even though she was in love with him (why I cannot say) she kept going "NO. FOR I AM MARRIED". And I was proud of her. ^^ Lance was Richard Gere. He was also STUPID. And Evil Prince Not!Mordred and the Malagants did a pretty good job of silliest attacks ever (pretending to be sheep, pretending to be foot soldiers, pretending to be reeds sticking out of the water). Aaand Peter the Stableboy was obviously in love with Lance. And--oh, Sean Connery was just really, really good as Arthur. He kept doing little nuancy things that made you go Awwwwwwww he loves her!. And even though he totally went stupid at the end with the public trial &c, he was very properly hurt by the fact that he walked in on Lance and Gwen FRENCHING (when she finally gave in to the overtures of moronic). And I rilly rilly liked it. ^^ So that was fun.

My hands are very cold, but I have been busy to-day, and I like that. It keeps me from being too sad. Unfortunately I have no such plans for to-morrow, so--I expect to be a mess by, oh, say, four o'clock. But--I do have Lillie's fic to write (FINALLY GAH), and some letters, and I need to organise my portfolio and probably I could do some more cleaning and maybe I can keep me busy enough not to fall apart. Thursday's very full, so I don't think I'll lose it there.

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psalm_onethirtyone: (Default)
Soujin

January 2012

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