psalm_onethirtyone: (Narwhals Narwhals Swimmin' in the Ocean)
oh hey look A FERRARI no wait it's more poetry.

Autumnal )

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Dogged )

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Have I mentioned lately that this poetry study is the best thing that ever happened to me?
psalm_onethirtyone: (Disappointed)
My heart has just been broken, so I'm going to post some poetry from my independent study.

First, two old poems revised:

Apeirophilia (previously Xenophilia) )

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Song for a Friend (previously Song for an Old Lover) )

--

One new poem:

One Week )

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And one poem that the professor (correctly) told me could not probably ever be a "good" poem, but "has some interesting ideas, and is an unusual experiment in a new form for you".

Closure )
psalm_onethirtyone: (Cascade Pond)
This has really been an almost perfect summer day. I don't have work, for what feels like the first time in ages, so I got up late this morning and got to wear whatever clothes I like -- which in this case is my new jean skirt and my blue shirt with the bicycle on it -- and eat breakfast slowly and do the crossword.

Then I drove down to Whispering Pines, and the first cling-stone peaches are in there, so I bought a basket of those as well as the things I actually went to get. I took the scenic route home by the sawmill and over Clark's Hill. I fed my fish; Tash is getting braver and braver. I haven't seen the new ones yet, but they always take a while to warm up. I fed and checked on my babies. I got the mail.

I finally finished all the artwork on my summer project, so I need to start doing the layout and text parts now, which I'll begin in a moment. The only nuisance is that my room is so hot, being upstairs, that I don't really feel like going up there. :P On that note, I do need to call the photographer.

I brought my favourite client blueberries yesterday, since they're in at the store, and since peaches are in now I think I'll bring her those next week. She was not doing super well yesterday -- she has trouble with anxiety and depression -- so I am kind of in a fuss-over-her mood right now. I made her shortcake yesterday to go with her blueberries, which I really hope she likes.

Pretty much the only downside to to-day is that I do get lonely when I'm home alone all day; and I'm still feeling a bit sick. --oh, except Mama just came home. So that's all right, I'll go bother her.

I'm pretty sure it's going to rain.
psalm_onethirtyone: (Stellini D'Oro)
Happy barricade day pt. 1!

My job is going really well so far -- it's pretty tiring, but I do like it a lot. Pretty much I just go to the houses of homebound people and do housework, chores, make meals, and do personal care, so not bad. The toughest part has been giving bed baths to one of my ladies, just because she has a hard time moving and I'm so anxious about accidentally hurting her while getting her to shift around for me.

Maria, meanwhile, is loving her job as a state bee inspector. We kind of play a game where we joke about whose job is worse, but I always win, because no matter how many times she says bee stings or sketchy Mennonites, I can always say bedpans and get an instant victory. :P

I am also still getting along nicely on my sekrit summer project -- set up the first of my dates with the photographer. Very cool! So excited! :D :D :D

Other than that I am fairly boring. I tend to come home in the evening and be too tired for anything involving much activity or brain power, although Maria did talk me into a fairly strenuous bike ride to-day which nearly killed me, but then we picked wild strawberries on the bank on our way home. Everything is so beautiful it's absolutely crazy. It either smells like honeysuckle or cow manure, both of which are glorious smells in their own right, and the hayfields are all being mown (we brought in three-hundred and eighty-eight bales over the last week, plus two-hundred that we sold outright). Three turkey poults have hatched, two more are on the way, and we get thirty chicks on Friday (keets a little later). The farm down the road has ducklings and calves. I love it so much.

Anyway, to-morrow I work! From one to nine, which is kind of a stupid shift, but whatevs.

Mama is actually getting kind of excited to meet Jen, to whom she refers only as "that girl you like", so that is promising, although I hope it doesn't make it too awkward when they finally do meet.

Yeah. As I said, a bit boring really. But doing well!
psalm_onethirtyone: (Grow a Little Good)
How to make hay:

First, you have to be dressed right. Find a sleeveless shirt and your oldest pair of jeans. Faded is best. If you're driving the truck, you can go barefoot, but if you've got to wear shoes, go for ratty sneakers. Wear a baseball hat, and put a bandanna in your back pocket.

Turn off the A/C in the truck. Roll the windows down.

Play country or bluegrass music. If you would normally find these genres embarrassing to listen to (and you shouldn't), don't worry. They'll never be more appropriate. The more outrageously silly the better. I recommend Dierks Bentley's CD "Modern Day Drifter", especially the songs "Domestic, Light, and Cold" and "Cab of My Truck". "So So Long" is good, too.

Sweat a lot.

Get covered with stray alfalfa and orchard grass. It's going to itch. You're probably allergic. Expect to break out everywhere it scratches you. (This is why you're wearing jeans and not shorts.)

If you're not driving the truck, load the hay waggon with the bales. Hope the tension is right. If it's not, your bales will be too heavy (nearly one-hundred pounds) or too loose (the hay will fall out of the twine when you try to pick it up). If it's just right, your bales will weight forty to fifty pounds and will be pure alfalfa and orchard grass, no dead stems, sticks, rocks, dead animals, live animals, or chunks of wood.

In one or two hours, when you've loaded nearly three tonnes of hay into the waggon (that's about one-hundred bales), take it to the barn and stack it in the haymow. The best way to do this is by hand, but you can use a hay elevator if you like. This will probably hurt. You should be wearing gloves, or the skin on your hands will rub off completely. Your clothes will be completely soaked with sweat. The haymow is so hot that you're in danger of passing out. At this point you should probably offer to make dinner (it is now eight o'clock and no one has eaten), so that you don't have to break your back in the mow. That way you also won't get saddled with the arduous task of working the hay waggon back into the barn.

Make dinner by yourself. The new potatoes you just dug out of the garden, boiling on the stovetop, will generate enough heat to keep you sweating. Chop up the beans. Cut yourself. The meatloaf at least was made the night before, so all you had to do was put it in the oven and wait for it to cook.

When you've finished dinner, and you're ready to eat (your sister, personally, hasn't eaten since the biscuits she made for breakfast), wait for your father to come in and have a complete meltdown, involving yelling and passive-aggressive comments, because you want to eat dinner before he tries to fit the broken-down baler back into the equipment shed OH WAIT THAT'S JUST OUR FAMILY.

Maria and I rebelled and ate dinner anyway; he can't understand why we're mad. Now we're going to watch X-Men and can stuff and eat ice cream and probably not speak to him. :P We were discussing whether or not Mama will be sympathetic when she gets home from work, or whether she'll have had a worse day--the care centre has somebody who hits with her cane.

But at least there's ice cream!
psalm_onethirtyone: (Grow a Little Good)
I'm feeling lots better, although I still can't eat most solid foods, so Maria and I did chores to-day. She made bread, and I got to help make brandied apricot preserves--we canned ten jars, but one fell. Maria hung laundry on the line, we dug new potatoes, and even managed to entice Rogue and Gambit in for a little scratching, although they are still suspicious. They are also suspicious because when they came close to the horse fence Quaker put his head over, snuffled Rogue's behind gently, and then chomped down, sending her squealing across the hog yard.

Lastly, we banded the turkey hens. Unfortunately, one of them beat me in the face with her wing, and I think one of my molars is loose. >_> She got me right in the wisdom tooth socket, of course. One of the stitches came out, but it didn't start bleeding or anything, so I think it's all right, but Maria says I have a big bruise. That'll be nice for church to-morrow.

Other than that, it is mostly just too hot to live.
psalm_onethirtyone: (Red-Letter Day of Wishing)
SO! While talking to cousin Keith about why Forge is named Forge (after the X-Man, natch), I discovered that not only does he own the first ever comic book issue of X-Men and many others because he used to read the series, but he is disinterested in keeping them and said he would be willing to give them to me next time he sees me.

So I take back my comments from earlier, and I'm very grateful I didn't hide during the reunion.

Also, instead of getting drunk and cornering me, Uncle John got tipsy and mellow and talked to me about how much he used to love snakes when he was a boy. Since I love snakes too, and want one when I graduate, this worked out really well. We discussed pros and cons of different species. It went surprisingly well!

To-morrow is the parish picnic, which is exciting because I helped pick out the music for it as part of my internship at the church. We're going to be singing a bunch of my favourite hymns. Also, the picnic is at the restored Landis House, which is a historical farmhouse that belonged to one of our former (deceased) parishioners. It is really gorgeous, and the caretaker took the gutted barn foundation and turned it into a swimming pool by lining the whole thing with cement. He works on it all spring and summer just for the picnic so that people can swim in it. It's fed by mountain stream, which means that if we don't have the picnic in the hottest part of the summer, it's so cold it freezes your limbs off, but it's kind of worth it, even in late June.

I really need an X-Men icon. >_>
psalm_onethirtyone: (Gross Things are Cool!)
When I went down to see how my hermit crabs were this morning, I discovered that Lance had died during the night, so I buried him in the garden with Percy. The Newport pet store has this deal that if your hermit crab dies in under a week from the time you buy him, you can have a new one free. So since I got him last Friday, I'm going to go in to-morrow and see if I can get a replacement.

I kind of knew he was sick, since he didn't move around nearly as much as Mark does, and he was missing his toes; whereas Mark can (and does) climb absolutely everything, Lance was pretty much stuck on the ground making sad faces. So it wasn't a huge surprise, I knew he wasn't very healthy. On the other hand, he and Mark were getting along really well, which is what I wanted from a second hermit crab, and I worry about personality so much. Ah, well, though. I'll probably do what I did when I got Lance, and spend half an hour in there communing with the crabs anyway before I finally pick one.

Anyway, the thing about being the number one person on this farm not to have an aversion to grossness is that I usually get stuck handling the various hazmat activities. Basically I am immune to touching horribly gross things, and reasonably immune to smelling them, and COMPLETELY immune to talking about them during dinner (SORRY) and the result is that every time something dies or goes back or gets horribly mutilated everyone goes SOUJIN COME CLEAN THIS UP.

cut for grossness )

So, that done, Maria and I completely cleaned the turkey/chicken shed, which involved two full truckloads of straw and turkey manure being moved from said shed into the gardens. I think Daddy must just throw more straw in when it gets too disgusting in there, but the result is that the stuff ends up being over a foot thick, which is ridiculous. Anyway, we put in fresh straw and then I deep-cleaned the nest boxes, my perennial Disgusting Task. There were lots and lots of rotten turkey eggs, so I took them out in the woods behind the house and threw them at trees. >:D They exploded into greyish yellow fizz and horrific smells, it was really fun.

Aaaand we also did our first hive inspection on the bees! They are doing super well, they have brood EVERYWHERE and it looks really nice, and we actually got to see some bees being born, SO COOL. Also there was even a frame full of honey. We about died from squee. You have to do hive inspections weekly, and we did ours last Friday, so to-morrow is the next one. Since finding out I am deathly allergic, we had to invest in a bee jumpsuit for me. I look awesome, like some kind of space dude with my smoker and bee brush.

And then Maria got me to weed her peanuts and okra while she weeded the corn, and it was actually really fun. Also, the poults and chicks are SO cute. ALSO, I finally submitted my art to the selling place, fingers crossed that that actually works out. I made a giant paper collage paper nautilus!

So to-morrow is work-at-the-library day and get-a-new-hermit-crab day and inspect-the-hive day and maybe-get-my-bike-fixed day and I am feeling reasonably optimistic. My headaches are getting horrifically worse, but I can live with that if everything else is going okay.
psalm_onethirtyone: (Everyone is Fond of Owls)
So yesterday afternoon when I went to get my bike there was a clump of reeds, grass, and sticks vaguely resembling a bird's nest in the basket. I assumed that someone had just stuck it there, since I've had a problem with kind of random vandalism this semester. I just left it there because I was in a hurry, and it mostly melted in the rain.

This morning when I came down to get my bike the nest was rebuilt into a perfect nest shape and there was a bird in it. It flew away when I came closer.

I took the nest and put it in a tree nearby, but I feel kind of guilty. My bike basket is the perfect place, since I park it under the overhang, so it's out of the rain and elements; also the basket supports the nest well. Moreover the sidewalk near the overhang is prime worm suicide ground whenever it rains. I almost want to leave it there, but then the poor bird would be in trouble when semester ends and I took my bike away. >_> But yeah. Random bird's nest! That is my fun story for the day!

Also, I am still sick, but a little less dead, thanks to Health and Wellness filling my pockets with various medicines. Doesn't mean I'm not going to sulk like a five-year-old, though. I really need a good night's sleep, but that's not likely to happen.
psalm_onethirtyone: (This is My Way out of This)
Christos anesti!

Good: it is Easter, and I'm so glad. I think Holy Week is my very favourite liturgical holiday. I mean, Christmas is good, and important, but Easter just feels so immediate, and without Easter Christmas wouldn't mean anything. Plus I love everything about it, from Shrove Tuesday and Ash Wednesdays to the forty-seven days of Lent that just about KILL YOU but bring you so much closer to God because you remember WHY you're dying. And then Palm Sunday, with the procession of palms, and Maundy Thursday when we get together and wash each other's feet and eat a passover kind of meal--bread and lamb and wine--and then go quietly, shrouding the church in black veils and stripping the altar because Jesus has been taken away.

Then on Good Friday we fast and mourn in the empty church, and on Holy Saturday we prepare, we are so full of the anticipation of relief, we fill the church with lillies and white roses and daffodils, and get all the food ready for the Easter feasting, and we know it's only a little while until the sorrow time is over and Jesus comes back to us--

And then we wake up on Easter Sunday and everything is joyful again. In my house, we still hide eggs, and we write clues for each other and hide our Easter baskets, so we have to go hunting all over for them. Then we go to service and the church is stuffed, and I was eucharistic minister to-day, so I wore my long black robe and my little alb and served wine to my elders and all the children (which is difficult, because I can't see their little mouths, and half the time I miss. >_> but they help out a bit). Then we rush home so we can pile all the food into the car and drive to my aunt's. That's not the fun part, because nobody really likes my Dad's side of the family that much, but Maria and I spent two hours on the cookies last night, decorating them in our usual obsessive-compulsive fashion, and Mama made a beautiful lamb cake that I stole the head off for Charlie.

And I borrowed a hymnal, because the Easter hymns are my favourites, and I wanted to be able to hum them and know the lyrics; and also because I am writing a Galahad/Percy fic for Easter and wanted reference materials.

And now I'm back at school with my bounty of food (enough to kill someone, I think), and the fasting is over, and I got to wear my beautiful Easter skirt. We took the Quaker out on Holy Saturday and he didn't even embarrass us in front of the Mennonites, and I learned to cook the rosemary solution for my shampoo by myself. Also we started the incubator with fourteen turkey eggs in it!

Now I have an essay to write, but I feel--reasonably hopeful about it? Less stressed out. It feels doable. I'll start to-morrow when I get the rest of the materials for it. It's due Thursday. I'll manage. I'm skipping Anthro to-morrow so I can be well-rested for my other classes that I like better. I'm back with my friends and I like that.

Bad: Mama's work insurance changed, and my meds are no longer covered.
psalm_onethirtyone: (Clock Sheep!)
I have a new kitten! His name is Mabon, and he's teensy and grey tiger coloured and very, very lovey. Also, he's going to be an indoor kitty, at least as long as I can reasonably argue for it, because I am tired of having my heart broken. Yesterday he got lost for two hours and I was searching the whole house and I said to Mama, "Why do I keep doing this? I do not think it is worth it," but she rightly pointed out that he had to be somewhere in the house, and as it happened he was stuck behind the computer. The Tribble hates him.

It was so beautiful being home. The leaves have mostly changed and it is just all so striking and breathtaking and sweet-smelling. Everything has that weird leaf-smell that goes with autumn. There are pumpkins and mums for sale everywhere, and the Mennonites are selling bundled cornstalks and Indian corn.

Maggie and Mama and Daddy and I moved the pigs one last time (their date of execution is November 5), and they sunned themselves while I scratched them. It was wonderful.
psalm_onethirtyone: (Grow a Little Good)
Pro: On our hike to-day I found a teeny little slimy day-glo orange salamander, he was exquisite.

Con: I also found a leech swimming in the lake. Ughhorrible. They swim with little undulations. Ugh ugh ugh phobia ugh.

Pro: Baby frogs! all over the trail!

Pro: I found an old-fashioned beer bottle buried in the silt in the lake. It's a weird shape and has wheat heads printed around the upper bit. I'm going to clean it out, and Maria said she'd bottle her cider in it.

Pro: Mama bought me goggles with crabs. :D They are for small children, but I like them anyway.

Con: They took away the old creepy under-the-water dock! So although I searched for it, using my new goggles, I did not find it.

I feel kind of rushed, but I think I'm getting back up on my feet a little.
psalm_onethirtyone: (Gold-Sun Glory in the Wind)
Hiro is going to be the DEATH OF ME AGH. He keeps trying to climb up my bare legs so he can get cuddles; I've been wearing trousers to-day in self-defence. I can't wait until Ando comes home and he has somebody to play with. He's doing really well! He just really hasn't figured out the whole 'retractable claws' thing and he loves to get into my lap.

Maria and I are taking the Quaker out for a drive to-day, which should be fun--he keeps trying to kill us when we drive with him (two weeks ago he shied at a stop sign and cantered halfway down the wrong side of the road before Maria could get him under control, and I clutched her thigh until my hand hurt but didn't scream, and she told me she was really proud of me for it) (last week he shied at a puddle, he is useless you giez). So that should be nice.

I need to finish my preparations for Maria's graduation party. Yesterday I cleaned the house, which always makes Maggie hate me--she always runs from the place I'm vacuuming to the place I'm about to vacuum, so I chase her around the house essentially and she is not thrilled by that. I bought Maria's cup and I need to go to the store and print out a photo of her so I can draw a helix across her face and leave it on her pillow. Uh. Not that we have a strange sense of humour or anything. Or that we spend hours sometimes reimagining Gunsmoke as Star Trek ("He's dead, Matt. Dammit, I'm a doctor, not a marshal." "Beam us up, Kitty." &c).

We've been doing a lot of planting lately, and I still haven't repotted Mohindar, which I really need to do because he hates his little plastic pot. He gets all cringy and sad in it. On the plus side, the fishies are doing well, and Levin is huge--nearly eight inches long. I'm so proud of him.

We're trying to name the hen with the bad foot--can anybody think of any good (funny or fandomy) names for a lady with crinkled toes? Black Peter has become unrecognisable, but Nellie is getting more playful, and I can't wait for them to go down with the rest of the flock in the long bottom. We have Redjac and Dora and Fidel and Jol down there, as well as two buff hens, another Aracauna, and another Marron.

The weather is finally nice enough to start hanging laundry on the line again! I think we're all glad of this.
psalm_onethirtyone: (Gotta Surface Soon)
Things are a little better now--there are still some serious issues to deal with (I was accused of being mentally unstable, among other things, so I will be seeing a psychiatrist for an evaluation at some point in the near future), but I feel a lot calmer now I'm back with my folks and actually getting actual sleep and being surrounded by a place where nothing really seems to matter. The farm is like being stopped in time and place, going back to a place where you don't do anything except live and build. We put straw on fifty yards of potato plants yesterday; to-day we'll plant flowers and sweet potato slips. It's easier to live when you have such basic things to work with.

The kittens are after all named Hiro and Ando, and on that note I really really still want recommendations for Matt/Mohindar. We also have plants named Sylar and Mohindar--Sylar is a thick succulent shaped kind of like a brain, and Mohindar is a sensitivity plant that closes up its leaves when you touch it. They're very sweet together. And I really need Heroes slashfic, ngl.

Anyway, I have some faith in things working out. So that's what's going on now.
psalm_onethirtyone: (We've Got Magic to Do)
So it's a week to spring break.

This semester I: got my first F on an exam; was in a fashion show to raise eating disorder awareness; was interviewed for said fashion show, and announced in the interview that I was in recovery for an eating disorder, talked about some warning signs, some reasons it was a truly sucky experience and you should not get one, many reasons the media and fashion industry encourage eating disorders, America's double standards, stuff like that, which I have never talked about in a personal context before, at least certainly never when it was going to be printed in a newspaper many of my fellow students will read; had a boyfriend for a little over twenty-four hours; had a girlfriend for a little under a week; dissected and collected the blood of ten live fish in fifty-five minutes (it was amazing, God willing I will do it again some day); fell in love with a boy I have no intention ever of going out with; wrote a paper while delirious and got an A on it; started Organic Chemistry; got into an upper-level sosh class that was technically closed to freshmen and realised that it was not worth the trouble I had taken, as it makes me want to rip out my brain and throw it at the teacher, who is the most annoying person in the entire world; made a friend I want to keep for-ever; wrote a performance evaluation in Latin for extra-credit; found out that people will believe horizontal three-bladed razor cuts were made by crashing a bike if you tell them so; wrote at least four poems that I really like; reached a peaceable place with my own death; realised that I do not want anything to stop me from being a doctor and I will manage it no matter what; settled into my skin.

None of which were without their trials.

Midterms: O.chem and sosh on Friday, bio lab Thursday, none elsewhere.
Weather: Beautiful.
Overall sense of peace and accomplishment: Fairly good.
psalm_onethirtyone: (ILU MATHS)
Heyyy. That's what being happy feels like. I had totally forgotten.

The girl and I talked, and I was right. But it's okay; things are actually more comfortable between us now, so I think that's a good thing, I'm really glad it worked out. We're also still exchanging Valentine's gifts because we'd already bought them at this point. XD Which is a little silly but honestly "a little silly" has been in my file for years.

To-day we're walking down to the plant shop and buy cacti, because really. We've been planning to do this for-ever, just not got around to it. Last night I fell asleep in her room in the chair, meaning that there was a total of four people in a room meant for two--me, her, her roommate, and her roommate's boyfriend, totally not awkward at all, except that is a lie. You know.

I have so many things to write, I am trying to pretend I don't have to think about that, but at least I got my sosh writeup done, so all I really have to do for homework is finish the last of my o.chem problems and I think I am finally starting to understand stoichiometry so that's all right (stoichiometry: time-consuming. I think this is really the whole idea behind it. HOW TO MAKE MATHS EQUATIONS AS LONG AS POSSIBLE). The scars on my arms are healing up, that's good. I'm happy about that.

Also it's just a beautiful day, I mean it is an absolutely gorgeous day, oddly warm and full of half-light, and I'm at the library right now and Michelle is sitting on a chair near me reading a book about Federico Garcia Lorqa and giggling periodically, and the sun catches her hair all pretty through the blinds (she has--seriously--golden hair, it is a little awe-inspiring sometimes).

I haven't properly eaten to-day (again), I haven't had my meds, I have study groups to-night and all kinds of things I don't want to do, to-morrow the week starts again and I feel underprepared and rushed and busy, but at the moment I also feel like there is a small center of peace in me, like a lump of hot pull taffy under my breastbone, quiet and round and malleable and warm, and that's a good feeling, one I haven't felt in a while and a very good feeling.

"History regards him as this tragic figure, but he really had so much fun. He was the life of the party. When he arrived at a party, his friend would yell "Hey, Federico's here! Now we can go on a poetry bender!" He was a flamer, but he was one of those people you can't help but like to be around," the girl says.

Yeah.
psalm_onethirtyone: (Helloooo)
So tiiiiiiired. I don't even know why. I have slept just stacks to-day, but I am still really really really tired, and a little depressed--nothing big, just kind of a--lonely, cloudy feeling? Some of that.

I bicycled down to the house of the woman who does mending, who has an advert for it in the Oriental Store, and gave her my nice black trousers. She says fixing them will probably cost about five dollars, which sounds like a good price. I guess if she does a good job I'll give her my jacket with the broken zipper and see if she can fix that up, too, before I go to school. I like that jacket. So that's really nice!

And I really need to stop taking these long bicycle rides without water, because I just about nearly died to-day while I was going up Corncrib. I drank three glasses of water right off as soon as I got home. Also Corncrib was tough because I never wear shoes when I bike, but I had to walk the bike up the road because it's a ridge road, it just goes right up, and it's unpaved, like a lot of the roads are around here. So I walked a couple of miles uphill on hot gravel, and my feet hurt plenty.

Anyway, I took the laundry off the line while evening was falling, and the moon was this perfect slim little crescent, just gleaming gold, and behind me Maria was knocking turkeys out of the black walnut tree with her pole, and that was a nice time.

Just right now I am having clouds.
psalm_onethirtyone: (Grow a Little Good)
We've saved! It's rained! It thundered early this morning and it's still drizzling. Everything's going to be fine.

It's funny, but the heat breaking makes everything feel better. We've been talking about what we're going to enter in the county fair. I work to-night, and I'm so tired that I think I'll just go straight to bed when I get home, because I have to work to-morrow morning as well. On the other hand, these are my last two days of work! I made it! I really did. And that is such a good feeling. I did what was expected of me.

The guinea keets are growing up so big it's just not even funny, and my fishes are getting bigger every day. Cyrano's been staying at the bottom of the pond, as hot as it is, but he'll probably come up when I feed them to-day. Maria's practising guitar at the church with Elizabeth, so I'm using Galahad at Espresso Yourself while they do that; she asked me to drive her, not Daddy.

We're all right now. We just needed that rain.
psalm_onethirtyone: (Kerchief)
Well, my workplace called. They'd never sent the check, which was why it hasn't arrived. I said, oh, that okay, even though it's not really, and my manager said, I'll give it to you when you come in Friday.

...I don't work Fridays, I said.

I need you Friday, she said.

I have another job on Friday, I said.

It ends at four-thirty, doesn't it? she said. You can come in at five-thirty.

NO, I did not say. I AM TIRED AFTER THAT. I WANT TO HANG OUT WITH MY FAMILY.

Okay, I said.

God, I'm useless. And I let her make me work a ten-hour shift on Sunday. Instead of taking Maria to the pool party, like she wanted. And you know what, I was so close to just saying, NO, I QUIT, I do not WANT to work whatever hours you choose to give me because you tell me that you NEED me and cannot COPE without me. Which is so many kinds of not true it's not even funny.

But here is the thing. Daddy would be disappointed. Mama said as much. He had to work much worse shifts much longer when he was a boy, and working in the canning factory. He thinks that my job is easy, and he thinks I am utterly pathetic for getting so upset over this, and I know he will be disappointed if I cop out.

So I am not going to. It's two weeks. I am a good strong girl. I will make it through and I will be bright and useful and competent and capable and if I need a reference, by God they will give me a good reference, because I will be a good worker. I love people. I like feeding people. I will do my job for my customers, and not for my management. And when it's done I will have more money than I did before, so I'll be able to buy schoolbooks, and Daddy will maybe not be proud of me, but he will not think I am a useless wimp.

And that's what.

To-day I helped Mama wire up the garden with chicken wire to keep the turkeys out! The turkeys are ravenous, and they have been eating her bee balm. Also I went out and admired Maria's garden--she planted basil to-day, nestled between the artichokes and the moonsandstars watermelons, which are HUGE. LORD. I fed my fishes and worked on their surprise for when I go away (recorded eight more stories!) and cut out a lot of stuff to sticker. ^__^

Yesterday! Oh, yesterday, I went on a bike ride that turned out to be much too long. I was out for two hours. I went to the Amish Market, which only takes me half an hour, and then when I got there, I though, well, heck, I could bike to work from here! So I did. And that took another half an hour, and was less pleasant because it was along the highway, as opposed to back country roads. And then I just went on down the highway to Route 104, and turned there to go along Klinger Hollow back to Oriental, sort an enormous uphill hypotenuse. I thought I was going to die. XD About halfway through Klinger Hollow I just got off my bike and went up to the first house I saw that had cows (you can always trust people who have about five cows) and rang the doorbell, and said, "Can I please borrow a glass of water?"

And they gave it to me! They were really nice. They gave me the water, and said they liked to bike on hot days, too, and saw me off. I should make them a pie or something, or maybe give them one of the watermelons. I need to think about what would be right.

So anyway from there I got home all right, and realised that I was sunburned all over, and Lord it hurts. My back looks like boiled lobster. Owwwwww. And I also had a minor case of sunstroke and had to lie down the rest of the day. I am not the brightest egg in the box.

But Maria's turkey toms all display now. :D They look so pretty it's great. And her guinea chickens come to-morrow! I am excited. She says guinea keets are smaller than chicks.

Ooh, and yesterday we also washed the dogs in the yard. They both look so tiny once their fur is all flat and wet.

And Levin, my koi, is enormous. He's doubled, as far as I can tell. Also he has either fathered or borne a gigantic number of baby kois. There are at least thirty, all swimming around in there fighting the big goldfish for food. Mama says we should catch them and sell them to the pet store. Maybe we will.

I think this balances out work, somehow.

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Soujin

January 2012

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