psalm_onethirtyone: (Everyone is Fond of Owls)
Apparently this week is "Honours Soujin Doesn't Actually Deserve" week. Ugh.

--my poetry study professor wants to put one of my poems up on the English dept. website, and, I'll be honest, I'm actually deeply flattered and thrilled by this and super excited. That's awesome.

--my religion professor wants me to take my research paper for his class and turn it into a presentation for our liberal arts symposium this spring. This is completely unwarranted, as a) my paper is weirdly ill-defined and not remotely qualified, b) NOT EVEN ACTUALLY WRITTEN YET, and c) talks about intercultural religious issues, which I think are fascinating, but which because I am not actually Islamic consistently make me feel like a Privileged White Western Person talking about Shit I Have No Actual Experience With. So I am terrified. And I don't want the responsibility urgh.

--on a totally different scale, my other religion professor wrote something along the lines of "blah blah you left out a bunch of important stuff in this paper and it's pretty glaring and painful but you can grammar okay so I will give you an A because you need a pat on the back you little dumbass" on my feedback, and I kind of just wish he'd given me a B and not said anything, because it feels gross. The history professor who co-teaches the class with him, when I wept about it to her, said he's been in a really bad mood this semester and super critical of everyone, but it still makes me feel awful.

--I am getting a solid B in Cog Psych, and I'm okay with that, because I thought I was going to do a lot worse.
psalm_onethirtyone: (The Perfect Pool)
Got my Yuletide assignment yesterday. It's pretty cool and I think there is a lot of potential in it, and I think I also can do a good job with it -- certain elements of it weird me out, but the prompter gave me a lot to work with so I think I leave some things out while still giving them what they want. So I am excited!

I go home to-day for Thanksgiving, so I'll be scarce for the next week.

Linkspam!:

A presenter in my cog psych class used this page about art by autistic people in his presentation, and I thought that was pretty neat, so here is the link. It is pretty cool from both an art and a mental shenanigans standpoint. (I also ended up talking about the gender issues surrounding autism with the professor after class, which was pretty neat -- she agreed with [livejournal.com profile] mhari and said that autism is generally viewed as a "boy's disorder" and not something girls are supposed to get.)

Octopodes can go on land and that is totally awesome. Plus also super cute.

Although we already knew that, Ann Coulter is a maniac and I don't understaaaand, Jesus. I don't want to live on this planet any more? Liz said I should move to Canada, but I feel it is my duty to model sane Christianity for people in America.

I am currently using this programme to try and manage my issues with computer light = migraines; I've only had it downloaded for a day, so I haven't got a real clear idea of how well it works yet, but it's an interesting idea.

This tumblr exists and it is pretty pro -- Ugly Renaissance Babies.

A really interesting essay/article on why "born this way" is a bad argument for queerness.

This guy is my hero -- a devout Muslim whose faith led him to try to save the man who shot him. I heard an interview with him on NPR on Sunday -- he was really incredible. Warning: Article contains pictures of headshot.

For your webcomic organising needs, piperka is a great site for tracking updates and keeping stuff neat.

Finally, when you have just delivered a good Caruso zinger, the instant CSI. Yeahhhhh!
psalm_onethirtyone: (Cascade Pond)
So. I finally finished the religion/history paper that was bringing about my doom, and now it's time to start the contemporary religion paper that is going to be the doom of the next few weeks. Delightful! I met with the professor about the first paper, and she essentially told me that I was choking on writing it because I was overprepared. And then when I said I was a neurotic overachiever she agreed. XD So there's that.

It's hard to believe that in fewer than six weeks my poetry study will be over. It's basically one of the best things I've ever done, and I'm... I don't want to stop. The professor who's doing that with me loves dogs and poetry, so I'm buying him a copy of Sharon Creech's Love That Dog as a thank-you gift.

Last Sunday I did the hive consolidation for our bees essentially on my own (there was a sophomore assisting me, but she kind of stood thirty feet away the whole time). That was really exciting and it felt really cool to be doing something like that, to be responsible... I got stung nine times, once on the back of the neck, and I'm not dead! That was exciting too. Only I didn't have the guts to pinch the queen, so I put her in a tupperware and when she died I gave her to the entomology professor.

Maria has decided that she wants to be an entomologist. I think it's really cool; I also think it's a job where she can do stuff that's both academic and intellectually stimulating, and lots of fieldwork and stuff that's hands-on. I think she'd be bored and miserable in an office or at a teaching job, but entomology has lots of practical application and also bees. AWESOME. I'm really proud of her.

I applied for the intercollegiate honours society yesterday, which was torture -- with the application in front of me I couldn't think of a single noteworthy thing I'd ever done. >_> Luckily it's sent off and I never have to look at it again, and I don't really care if I get in -- I only applied because Daddy really wanted me to.

My mama called me on Monday night to tell me that my cat, Calico, was hit on the road and killed. She was thirteen, so I am torn between 'well she lived a long full life' and 'but I've had her since I was a wee kid!'. I told Maria that I was sad that she'd never get to bite me again (she was also the meanest, nastiest cat in existence), and Maria said she was probably in purgatory, biting the sinners. It's an amazingly comforting image. Callie would have no place in heaven. Mama said that to replace her I can have one of the kittens in the barn, so I'm looking forward to trying to catch one of them to tame. Actually, I'll be catching all of them if I can, because I think she wants to try and tame one for my cousin Johanna, who's decided she really wants a DLH for Christmas (although Johanna wants her DLH to have a smush-face, which I think is kind of ugly, and these kitties don't have them).

On Monday I'll be sitting on a panel to raise awareness for invisible illnesses, discussing bipolar disorder! That's pretty cool.

I also finally got paid by the church, so I'll be able to pay the guy who did the photography and digital editing for my picture book, which is a relief, because I feel like the worst client ever right now. >_> He asked about payment two weeks ago and I had to tell him that I hadn't got the money yet. The editing is almost done; right now I'm working on putting the individual pieces together into pages, which is harder than I thought it would be. I only have three done.

I've been watching a hilarious Let's Play of Silent Hill 4 lately, which is pretty much my only "fun" outlet besides RP. Oh, school.

So that's all the content of the last month, I think. Now I'll go back to posting contextless poetry and stupid Tweets about religion films (another one to-morrow! :D).
psalm_onethirtyone: (McCoy in the House Bitches)
The psychiatrist messed up my prescription again, which means I am once more living on the pharmacy's charity while I wait for her to be back in her office again. This is one of the most intensely frustrating recurring experiences of my life, because it is so hard for me to get to the pharmacy in the first place, and then having everything be wrong when I get there is hard, and trying to work out what the actual problem is--

She sent in my old prescription, not my new one, so they filled the prescription I was getting in the middle, which will... give me enough medicine for a week, after which I will have to go and pay ALL OVER AGAIN to get my new prescription filled, so I'll be paying for the same scrip twice, in essence, and there's nothing I can do about that because the insurance company will no longer pay for my old prescription and the pharmacy isn't authorised to front me this medicine -- unlike my migraine med, which they did front me, because I forgot to check my scrip and so didn't notice that I had no refills left, so that at least was entirely my fault. That doesn't make me mad, because it was me being careless that made it happen. But when it's the psychiatrist's fault, I just get so upset because she should know how important it is that I actually take my medicine on time and such.

The last time this happened, she sent my prescription in to a pharmacy I don't even use, and when I called her panicking because my pharmacy didn't have my scrip she said it must be my fault and i was doing something wrong.

I just. She is the only person at the school's health and wellness programme who has ever failed me so consistently and seriously, and she's one of the few people I will be glad never to see again when I graduate. Eugh.

ANYWAY. No more complaining. Remember that my fundraiser for [livejournal.com profile] raanve is still going on! Share with your friends!
psalm_onethirtyone: (Only Time Gold Doesn't Sink)
I have a lot of ~feelings~ right now, but most of them are unprintable invective directed towards my mother, so they're probably best kept between me, my therapist, and Maria, who has been displaying a vast sense of understanding (she is used to being the "bad" daughter, so the switch in our positions has left her rather sage and sympathetic). Part of this issue stems from the fact that standing up to my mother will accomplish nothing, as she will misinterpret the reasons for the standing-up and then feel like a horrible person rather than just a perfectly nice person who is insanely passive-aggressive, and then I will feel like a horrible person too and nothing will get done -- so I am just capitulating with her insane passive-aggression, which makes her feel good, I assume, but makes me feel fairly awful.

In the meantime, I have a paper to write to-night, which I had better at least make some headway on -- I am starting to fall into the habit of panicking about papers but not actually writing them, whereas these previous three years I would panic while writing, so I need to get my act together. As long as I'm panicking, I might as well get work done.

So I will be probably not around to-night, [livejournal.com profile] mhari, [livejournal.com profile] raanve, and [livejournal.com profile] pax_morgana, because I am busy beating my head against the metaphorical wall of Islam/US!Christian relations, which suck. Also I do not have enough Diet Coke, which is not helping matters.

HOWEVER my koi icon is here to remind me that even though this weekend is going to be TERRIBLE, I will at least get to feed my fish, and I do like that.

I am exhausted. I will say that I don't think it's fair that I'm already in major anxiety/bipolar mode and it's only about five weeks into the semester. I HAVE SO MUCH MORE TIME TO TRY AND FORCE COMPETENCY INTO. ;_____; Also, I'm still having migraines every day. Time to see the doctor and see about getting my dosage upped! I'm starting to wonder whether my Depakote was actually helping to mitigate the migraines after all, and whether stopping has actually had an effect. That would be really annoying.
psalm_onethirtyone: (Narwhals Narwhals Swimmin' in the Ocean)
To-day has been. I don't even know.

This morning was nice! I went out to lunch with Dani and her friends, and one of them bought my lunch for me! And then I went to start work on the Project with Andy, and we got the whole photographing part done, which is awesome.

The problem is that it took almost six hours, and we were in a small studio with lots of bright lights, and I have had the worst migraine ever since. On top of that I didn't get to eat until late, and I feel really terrible. I also realised I have an essay due to-morrow that's six pages. Edit except the professor just e-mailed me and said it's due next weekend, OH GOD THANK GOD.

So I'm kind of rolling around on the floor in misery right now.

Thursday was horrible -- I ran out of medication and failed an exam and decided to take a conciliatory nap at eight and ended up sleeping all the way until eight the next morning, and then Friday all I did was homework and brief hanging out with [livejournal.com profile] the_chloroplast and [livejournal.com profile] immoralwitness and Kat until they went out to a bar, and then I hung out with [livejournal.com profile] isjusterin to maintain my sanity. And then TO-DAY OH GOD.

Also my mother has been leaving hundreds of passive-aggressive voicemails and e-mails in my inboxes this week, oh my God I want to die and not have to talk to her. She talked to me to-day but she still wants me to call to-morrow as well. I need to call Maria instead so I can weep all over her and have her understand.

Basically EVERYTHING IS CRAZY and when I tried to intimate this fact to Mama she just said, "oh you always worry about everything" all dismissively. Which makes me angry, because she's the one producing most of the pressure on me right now.

...Somebody write me some nice Arthurian porn. I need it.
psalm_onethirtyone: (Feet)
So I asked my friend Kat what she would like for her birthday, and she picked a pangolin. And over the past two days I have discovered that a pangolin is an awful lot of work to piece together from small attractive pieces of paper. But the good news is, it's done, and it actually looks fantastic. I'm going to try to get a picture before I give it to her to post here so y'all can see, because I'm really proud of it.

Other than that, my life has not been enormously exciting. Getting back into the usual craziness of classes etc., and it turns out I'm the vice president of our apiary society, which I did not know and which resulted in some mad panic Thursday night when I found out fairly last-minute that I had to represent that club at an RSO meeting. Still, everything ended up working out fine.

Mostly I'm just having ridiculous body issues. Going back to school is always pretty problematic because argleblargle lots of slender friends who make me feel gigantic and horrible ugly, so I am kind of wanting to roll myself up in a rug and put myself in storage somewhere for-ever. But oh well.

I am a boring person!
psalm_onethirtyone: (Cascade Pond)
Update:

1. Wahhhh it's still hot I can't focus blah blah I hate hot weather I am currently sleeping on my parents' floor because they bought a small air conditioner for their room because it's HOT. Also the floor is not very comfy, trufax.

2. Wahhh I have been working for the last seven days straight and I will be working to-morrow as well, but Tuesday is my day off and I am going to spend ALL. DAY. in my parents' room watching Twin Peaks in the A/C. Unless I take myself out for lunch, but that will still be to an air-conditioned diner. AND THEN I WILL BE WORKING AGAIN ON WEDNESDAY. I-- yeah. I know some of y'all on my flist work a lot harder than I do, but this whole eight-days-in-a-row-8-hour-shifts-plus-one-12-hour-one thing is killing me. A lot. I just want some time to myself to fool around and take care of my keets and my poults and my fish and my hermit crabs!

3. Twin Peaks is really awesome, though. So great. I really want to read the T.V. Tropes page, but I refuse to spoil it for myself ahead of time. Which... I am the kind of person who reads the last page of murder mysteries first, so I am really feelin' it on this series.

4. Country music. Maaaan, I do like country music. Anyway, I just wanted to remark, apropos of country music, that "Hyundai" is not. pronounced. "hunday". FTLOG. Anyway, they keep playing my favourites on my way to work -- Thompson Square and Josh Turner and Blake Shelton and Reba McEntire -- and I just want to state for the record that I'm not ashamed of enjoying it. I mean, I'm not always in the mood for country, but I do think it makes really good commute music. I can listen to pretentious indie stuff at night while I'm writing poetry.

Also, regarding country music, [livejournal.com profile] raanve, I found old!Lanselos' song. It's Toby Keith's "I Ain't As Good as I Once Was". Just check it out. :D

5. I am having ~feelings~ about some stuff, but I think that belongs in a locked post because a) ~feelings~ and b) boring introspection is boring. However, I will say that I tend to forget just how... mental illness phobic?... people can be, and it's very jarring to be reminded sometimes.

6. Thursday = surgery day! Woo! That means I get the day off! Now I just need it to stop being so goddamn hot, and we're good.
psalm_onethirtyone: (Feet)
Still depressed/anxious, but trying to keep busy. The problem is that everything feels so blerrrgggh right now.

Whatevs, I go to work in twenty minutes and I shelled out for a couple of computer games and started downloading the next SuperGreatFriend LP (D and D-2, the last one that I haven't seen -- after this I'll have watched all of them!), in an attempt to have a reasonable amount of stuff to fill my time. And I have a friend visiting this weekend, which I'm looking forward to. So! Hopefully that will stave off the ughhh feeling a little.
psalm_onethirtyone: (Feet)
My anxiety has been so bad lately and I don't know why but I just keep going fluttery and I have that weird feeling in my chest like there's a large object there that keeps trying to crawl up my throat -- not nauseating, but choking, and I can't swallow it down. Two nights this week I cried myself to sleep for no reason.

I'm just frustrated because there's nothing going on. My life has been pretty much awesome lately, and I haven't had a really bad depression/anxiety episode since I went on Celexa, which means quite a few months. I don't know if it's a case of being worried that things are going too well, or whether I'm just bound to have some anxiety with the background I have, but it's really bothering me.

Admittedly, Mama and Maria have been fighting a lot, which makes me nervous, and some things are coming up that I'm a teensy bit worried about, but honestly nothing big enough that it should have me this off-kilter.

Ffff. Sometimes I wish I had a summer therapist. :/
psalm_onethirtyone: (Annie with Red Hair)
I. have. meds.

This is technically my third day without them, as they did not show up in the mail until to-night, but although I have been dizzy and nauseated since Thursday, and to-day I barely made it through the family reunion because I had to go and hide on a couch somewhere and have fever dreams and try not to throw up, THAT IS ALL MOOT, because I took them this evening and I will take them to-morrow and hopefully that will prevent me from driving intro a tree on my way to work. :D Which would be good.

My paid account appears to have expired again. Pfffft. I would renew it, except I have spent literally two-hundred dollars on pills and gas money over the last week.

I am looking forward to sleeping to-night without the incredibly disturbing dream track. The last few nights and days have been really. Cut for triggery stuff, actually ) So yeah, I'd like things to go back to normal.

Also, just not getting so dizzy I can't see every time I move too fast will be nice. :D
psalm_onethirtyone: (Mycroftian Horrors)
NOT in a very good frame of mind.

I called the insurance company this morning, and honestly the lady was very nice -- she called down to the pre-auth dept. to figure out why I still didn't have my meds, and figured out that it's because my (3) 75 mg caps a day (i.e. one prescription) are more expensive to the insurance company than (1) 150 mg and (1) 75 mg caps a day (two prescriptions, so more expensive for me personally). Which they didn't TELL ME, of course, they just refused to authorise my scrip for over a week.

Soooo she also found out that it would be about thirty dollars cheaper to do my meds through mail-order, so she gave me the number to have my doctor fax and gave me all the info for that, so I called Dr. C and got that arranged, BUT that means I don't get those in the mail for another eight days, even if they're marked urgent. That means I still have to pay out of pocket for the meds to cover me for that time period.

So theoretically I need to do that to-day, but I'm almost too depressed. x___x

However, I also have to go into town to xerox forms for my insurance claim for the x-rays I had in April, so I'll be there anyway, so I'll probably stop by the pharmacy and sell my soul while I'm in the vicinity. To soothe my wounded sense of justice, I am making my fourth batch of cupcakes, which I will give to the library ladies, I figure.

Anyway, I can't leave until my cupcakes finish and I repackage the pork from the butcher's into smaller portions for the freezer. Daddy says I can use the chicken scale if I can find it.

If I really were Mycroft Holmes, right now I would be having everyone deported left and right. Seriously. Argh.
psalm_onethirtyone: (Disappointed)
So I'm sure everyone is desperately interested in hearing the continuation of the Saga of the Insurance Company from Hell (yes, you are).

Yesterday my doctor told me that she had called the insurance company again and faxed them being all URGENT URGENT MY PATIENT IS DYING PLZ SEND HER HER MEDS, and she assured me, when I phoned, that they had told her I would be authorised to have them within twenty-four hours. So this morning I ran to the pharmacy, because I'm out again.

Where the pharmacist told me, as nicely as possible, that the insurance company had NOT authorised my scrip and everyone was now out for the weekend, so it was unlikely I would be authorised until Tuesday. He also suggested that I call the insurance company and grovel to them on Tuesday. In the meantime, I could buy some meds out of pocket.

Now, because the pill I'm taking does not come in 225 mg caps, which is the dose I take, I have to take three 75 mg caps every day. Which means in order to get by until Tuesday, I had to buy twelve caps instead of four. And because Mama is broke right now, I paid for them with my birthday money. ;___; Which is just a minor complaint, honestly, because at least I have money, but I am whinging because I wanted to get art supplies with it.

So my plan is to call the insurance company on Tuesday. Yayyy! In the meantime, I have incredibly expensive medication, and a twelve-hour shift at work to-morrow.

On the PLUS SIDE, Maria and Mama and I went clothes shopping to-day and I managed to find two pairs of jeans that fit, as well as a really cute denim skirt and even a pair of shorts (which is disguised to look like a skirt, which suits me just fine). Which is great, since usually the fact that I am shaped exactly like a hobbit makes clothes shopping a fairly traumatic experience. I also made cupcakes for a party to-morrow that I will not get to go to, but they turned out really nicely! Even though I burnt my hands, bleh.

Yeah. If it weren't for this insurance thing, my life would be going pretty nicely overall.
psalm_onethirtyone: (Try Again To-morrow)
Dear My Insurance Company:

Congratulations! You have proved your sagacity. The fact that I have taken the same medication every day for the last four years might convince a lesser mind that I actually need it, but you in your wisdom have seen through that ruse. As you have guessed, my medication is purely an extraneous expense that I continue to pay monthly in the hopes of making you, too, suffer the associated financial loss.

Someone else might just accept that since three different doctors have signed off on its necessity said medicine might just as well be purchased, but you, Insurance Company, understand that action is called for in these situations. That is why you have taken the bold step of cutting me off.

It is now my third day without medication, but I am still alive, proving beyond a doubt that I do not need it to survive. The symptoms of nausea, vertigo, migraine, and increased weeping are merely psychosomatic effects of withdrawal that will soon fade. Despite the fact that my job involves protracted stretches of car travel, I am sure that I will not endanger myself or anyone else by driving while dizzy. Within a few weeks, everything should be fine, and it will be obvious that you have made the right decision.

Or I'll be dead, I guess.

Thank you for your prompt and thoughtful actions!

Very little love,
Soujin

Dear Pharmacy Man:

Thank you for fronting me two days' worth of my meds. ;___; I feel a bit less like I'm going to die now. You are a good man.


Soujin
psalm_onethirtyone: (Clock Sheep!)
So I have been trying to figure out why I am so incredibly amazingly calm about the fact that I have less than a week to write a twenty-page research paper and it's not even started yet, and realised to-day, with [livejournal.com profile] skyerana's help, that I've basically been totally mellowed out since I started on the Celexa. Which I guess is both good and bad, since, you know, on the one hand, totally calm. On the other hand, paper not started.

And I have no intention of starting it to-night, either. SIGH.

I can't believe I finally found a drug that kills my anxiety, just in time for goddamn finals. I'm trying to decide whether I should stop taking it, just for finals week, or play along and try to motivate myself. The psych is gone for the year, so I can't talk to her, little as I wish to do that anyway.

This is immensely stupid.
psalm_onethirtyone: (Annie with Red Hair)
1. What do you do when someone you consider a pretty good friend keeps talking about stuff you have explicitly said is triggering to you, even when you have asked her to stop? (i.e. you said "ilu but please stop telling me about how much weight you're losing, how much fat is in the food I eat, etc" and she said "but I want you to be healthy" and went on talking about it? even after you said "hi EATING DISORDER"?)

2. On Celexa now. Haven't picked up the scrip yet, though.

3. Have three papers left for the semester (1 3-pager, 1-5/7-pager, 1 10/15-pager), three exams, and a story to write. Was going to do the short paper to-day, but feeling kind of too depressed atm, so maybe I will go watch bad horror for a bit. Thursday is LAS, so we get a day off--good time to get stuff done. As is to-morrow.

Bleh.
psalm_onethirtyone: (Annie with Red Hair)
Meeting with the Asst. Dean inconclusive. Definitely going home this weekend, though.

On an entirely different note, our school's production of The Vagina Monologues was cancelled because, according to the person doing the organising, it isn't inclusive enough: it doesn't let males help out or participate. So instead she's putting together a pro-woman show of some kind that anyone can participate in. I politely declined to be involved because I am mildly bothered by this decision. Somehow it seems like it's missing the point.

I like the new LJ header.

One paper done, one bibliography done; three papers left. Two of them are due to-morrow. Ha, ha, ha.
psalm_onethirtyone: (Found Myself!)
I'm beginning to feel tentatively more optimistic, although the last few weeks have made me somewhat cautious of that feeling and my brain doesn't exactly know if it should relax yet (answer: NO. NEVER RELAX).

My schedule for senior year had me in a complete panic, but then I thought, "Look, every time I see my advisor, not only does he treat me like a person who has just as much likelihood of having a life and career as someone without a mental illness, he also tends to have an excellent objective perspective and is really good at sorting out the tangles I wind myself into". So I met with him to-day, and lo and behold in an hour he had neatly pointed out the problems I created and helped me fix them. The only thing we couldn't do was find the final upper-level credit required for me to graduate, and he solved that by creating an independent study just for me. It just so happens to be something he's fascinated by and wants to study more, too. :D :D :D

Something that I just-- I don't even know how to word it, but it makes me feel so calm and secure when I'm explaining a problem to him, because people tend to tell me, "Look, you can be someone, but first you have to be well," and that panics me, because I'm not sure that I ever will be. Inevitably, he acts like it doesn't matter if I'm sick or well--the only issue is finding ways to make life make concessions to my illness, and not vice-versa. And that is just so unbelievably reassuring to me that I can't believe it. He makes me feel like no matter what, the things I want to do are possible.

Anxiety too bad to let you go abroad for a semester? Easy! Go abroad on a shorter, two-week, class trip with a professor and students you already know. You get the abroad experience and you'll have a responsible adult to help you do self-checks mentally.

Not possible to take an extra semester to graduate? Easy! Drop this course and this course, you don't actually need them, sub in this one-credit course, and I'll make you an independent study! Good to go.

Might have to take some time off to go to the hospital? Easy! Be here when you get back.

He just does this, and I don't feel like I'm imposing because he always acts like it's totally a normal part of the trajectory of life and there's nothing out of the ordinary about any of these things, and it just absolutely kills me. But in a good way. Having this man for an advisor was one of the best choices I ever made here, for sure.

In other news, I slept over with [livejournal.com profile] the_chloroplast and [livejournal.com profile] skyerana last night, and it was really nice. We watched bad films and Arielle played Prince of Persia and made fun of it hilariously. Also, Liz asked me to dinner to-night; and I had an hour and a half long talk on Skype with Jen. I am still feeling really ginger around my friends, and fairly nervous, but they are really great friends, and I'm really fortunate, and I hope that will help me to relax soon.

Also, I am going to kidnap [livejournal.com profile] raanve and steal her away from her husband. She doesn't know this, but I am.

(I have two papers to write, but I also owe [livejournal.com profile] eremon_lass Percy/Gawain. I WONDER WHICH ONE GETS DONE TO-NIGHT.)
psalm_onethirtyone: (Cephalopods Need Heart)
Hawkeye got into Mark and Forge's tank last night. He didn't eat them, he just urinated all over them and their stuff, so to-day was spent nursing them through the shock. I had to boil everything in the tank clean and buy new sand. Luckily I have extra substrate back at school. As a present for being traumatised I also bought them some cocoanut climbing matting to play with, which Mark at least is really into. He is my good boy. <3 They seem fine now, I'm just worried that three days from now I'll wake up and check on them and they'll be dead from secret death-ray chemicals.

Hawk also ATE some of my art, thereby destroying about two hours' work, so he is in disgrace. Especially since nice scrapbooking paper costs hella monies. And then when I tossed him outside he clawed open my hand quite dramatically. I hope he roasts in hell. The Tribble can be annoying, but at least she isn't destructive to anything that's not cake.

I finally made the full switch to the new meds, and they're making me feel disgusting, but hopefully that passes. I've been having the weirdest nightmares, about four or five distinct ones a night, and I'm really hungover in the morning. Plus my tremor is ridiculous at this point--right before I came home, back when I was still on the 2/3 dose, a girl at school asked me if I was having a seizure. I'm not thrilled.

But my crabs are fine, and I bought a teeny tiny Brazilian firecracker plant at the flower show yesterday, and Maria is home now, which is the best. Also, I got my hair cut, and it looks really nice. I might actually take a photograph, because I really like it.
psalm_onethirtyone: (Narwhals Narwhals Swimmin' in the Ocean)
Okay. Things are back under control. Okay. Yeah. I can do this.

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Soujin

January 2012

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