psalm_onethirtyone: (Not Me! Erro ero)
It wouldn't be a true clusterfuck of a week without something else going wrong, and on that note I went home early from my client yesterday with acute gastritis. :D! Which was okay, in terms of her care, because she went to the hospital! Yeah. But she's home to-day, and I'm supposed to see her, only I feel not great, so I am waiting for Mama to get home with medicine and then I'm going in for part of my shift, because there's no one else to see her and my guilt and responsibility complexes know no bounds. THIS IS HOW I ROLL.

A partial shift shouldn't be so bad. It'll only be five and a half hours, and the toughest part is driving, with the pain, which is what the medicine is for. ...sigh, what is my life.
psalm_onethirtyone: (Annie with Red Hair)
Last night Forge died -- not as traumatic as it might have been, since he was my unfriendly hermit crab who refused to come out. But after I got off work this morning I did deep-clean the tank as a result, and got new substrate, and brought home a new friend for Mark. This one does lots of climbing and hanging upside down, so his name is McCoy, and when I have half a minute to myself again I'm going to try to settle down on the couch and socialise him to me a little. So far they seem to be getting along okay, though. Fingers crossed!

Fun new discovery of the day: for the last few months I've been getting kind of ill after I drink milk or eat dairy, with the last week being absolutely the worst, so I have come to the conclusion that I have developed a lactose intolerance. Which... pretty much sucks, since I pour more milk into myself than any sane person should. I guess in the interests of not killing myself this means switching over to water. SIGH.

And now, grocery shopping, after I take care of my chicks and poults. ♥ Keets are coming end of June! At least to-day is busy.
psalm_onethirtyone: (Annie with Red Hair)
I. have. meds.

This is technically my third day without them, as they did not show up in the mail until to-night, but although I have been dizzy and nauseated since Thursday, and to-day I barely made it through the family reunion because I had to go and hide on a couch somewhere and have fever dreams and try not to throw up, THAT IS ALL MOOT, because I took them this evening and I will take them to-morrow and hopefully that will prevent me from driving intro a tree on my way to work. :D Which would be good.

My paid account appears to have expired again. Pfffft. I would renew it, except I have spent literally two-hundred dollars on pills and gas money over the last week.

I am looking forward to sleeping to-night without the incredibly disturbing dream track. The last few nights and days have been really. Cut for triggery stuff, actually ) So yeah, I'd like things to go back to normal.

Also, just not getting so dizzy I can't see every time I move too fast will be nice. :D
psalm_onethirtyone: (Gross Things are Cool!)
WARNING there is some gross stuff in this post.

The doctor at school is magic. MAGIC. She has accurately diagnosed me with half a dozen things since I came here that baffled the hospital (which is not, admittedly, a very good hospital, but still).

So I came in yesterday and went HERE ARE MY SX:

--no sense of balance
--fever
--congestion (BLOOD IN MY MUCUS WHAT EVEN)
--hot and cold flashes
--severe headache
--pain in my ears
--unbelievable spinal and neck pain
--full-body spasms

and the nurse (who is really great!) went ";___; i have no idea, here is gatorade and mucinex and come back to-morrow when the doctor is in". So I came back to-day, she listened to my list, stuck a light in my ear and went, "Yup. Thought so. Worst ear infection I've ever seen." Seriously, she's magic!

Like last semester, when I came in and was like "my whole mouth has been numb for two weeks and my tongue is coated in white stuff and nobody knows what it is" and she was like "pfff, I know a vitamin B deficiency when I see one, take B12 until it clears up" and it DID. In like TWO DAYS. because she is AMAZING.

She also found a magical yeast infection medication that I can take without having an allergic reaction, and prescribed the first thing that has ever worked for my migraines, and also always tries to make sure stuff is affordable.

I am making this post to remind myself and others that not all doctors are evil. >_>

AND NOW TO CATCH UP ON ALL THE WORK I HAVE MISSED OVER THE LAST FOUR DAYS.
psalm_onethirtyone: (Dye My Eyes and Call Me Pretty)
Style meme!

Silliness! Britannia folks only, this go-around )

And, bonus, one for [livejournal.com profile] mhari:

Laura Ross
Height: 5'10"
Build: Thin, but sturdy, and highly muscular
Hair: Long, red, and prone to tangles
Style: Sweaters and jeans. She prefers dark colours, blacks, browns, greys, subdued greens and navys, and the occasional porridge-y beige. Clothes are very much not her thing.
Pajamas: In the Army she slept in her uniform pants and an undershirt. As a civilian, she wears a long cotton/poly green nightgown of her mother's, and it always makes her feel weird.

---

in other news, I am finally not sick again--apparently, you subject your body to one little bout of hypoglycaemia on a Friday and you spend the next three days dying of a fever and massive digestive system trauma. Also, I'm allergic to bee stings after all. My hand is finally not the size of a grapefruit any more, but pffffffft.
psalm_onethirtyone: (Cephalopods Need Heart)
I have been really super anxious lately, and I think it's partly because Liz is sick. One of the things that terrifies me the most of anything is when people who are very strong-willed and put together are sick or falling apart and I can't do anything about it, especially if they're people who usually take care of me. The idea that something is wrong and there is absolutely nothing I can do about it is really scary to me. And Liz is definitely that type of person, but her arthritis has been terrible lately, and you can see it in the way she walks and moves, and whenever I'm around her I basically want to throw up because it makes me feel so weird and hurty.

Have also been having a lot of vertigo/dizziness/constant headaches again, which I think might be from not taking my Depakote--so, after approximately three weeks off it, I am back on again. I don't really know.

On the plus side, Free Comics Day was fun! I got Amazing Spider-Man (two of them), Avengers, Captain America, Iron Man (lots of Iron Man), and a bunch of less mainstream comics--two Owly and Friends!, Mouse Guard, Haunt, Chew, two fairy-tale comics, a supernatural Western, and a teeny one by a local artist called Swell Tales from the Sea, which he signed and also drew me a picture of a cat with a jellyfish on its head. I also bought (for fifty cents each!) four old comics, including a Marvel holiday special from 1996, an old issue of Amazing Spider-Man featuring A Night Out With Wolverine (which was why I got it, because lawl), a 1996 issue of Professor Xavier and the X-Men, and a Star Trek TOS/X-Men crossover that is AMAZING in its silliness. So that was really good!

And then I came back from that and finished my paper. It is really, really terrible, but at least it's done; to-morrow I'm going to try to pack everything I won't need during finals week and thus be a bit more prepared for home. I'm also starting [livejournal.com profile] mhari's-house-countdown.

Also, it's really, really hot here, and I am not okay with that.
psalm_onethirtyone: (You Done Good)
I am completely unmotivated, which is kind of a pain because I have to write this paper. But the good thing is, it's my last paper, it's eight pages and then the only thing I have left is exams. I've applied two places for a job for summer, and bought my ticket to go see [livejournal.com profile] mhari, too. So I'm very organised! And very ready for the semester to be over, honestly.

It's just this damn paper. It's not like the history one where I really wanted to write it and got to pick the topic myself. This is about human nature (is it culturally or genetically determined? use the books we've read this semester) and I kind of wanted to punch the author of the last book we read IN THE FACE the whole time, so it's fairly frustrating.

I'm also out of meals, so I'm hiding in Liz's room with a pack of peanut butter crackers and a bottle of diet dr. pepper. When exam week starts, they let you into the dining hall for free, but that's still another six days. Either I find people who haven't used all their guest passes yet, or I don't eat. A little annoying.

I am also still sick, but I'm taking iron pills again, and I've increased my meds like I was supposed to. Hopefully that makes me feel better soon. --And apparently Joyce is going to dose me with some terrifying Taiwanese chewing gum that cures all ills. O_O Dan is opposed, but I'm willing to try it.

And now, back to whining like a five-year-old and trying to write!
psalm_onethirtyone: (Everyone is Fond of Owls)
So yesterday afternoon when I went to get my bike there was a clump of reeds, grass, and sticks vaguely resembling a bird's nest in the basket. I assumed that someone had just stuck it there, since I've had a problem with kind of random vandalism this semester. I just left it there because I was in a hurry, and it mostly melted in the rain.

This morning when I came down to get my bike the nest was rebuilt into a perfect nest shape and there was a bird in it. It flew away when I came closer.

I took the nest and put it in a tree nearby, but I feel kind of guilty. My bike basket is the perfect place, since I park it under the overhang, so it's out of the rain and elements; also the basket supports the nest well. Moreover the sidewalk near the overhang is prime worm suicide ground whenever it rains. I almost want to leave it there, but then the poor bird would be in trouble when semester ends and I took my bike away. >_> But yeah. Random bird's nest! That is my fun story for the day!

Also, I am still sick, but a little less dead, thanks to Health and Wellness filling my pockets with various medicines. Doesn't mean I'm not going to sulk like a five-year-old, though. I really need a good night's sleep, but that's not likely to happen.
psalm_onethirtyone: (McCoy in the House Bitches)
well, i'm sick. yay. i have an 8 page paper on human nature, a presentation on sociobiological factors in gender, and four exams, not to mention more editing on my 15 page research paper.

gonna go throw up again and cry.
psalm_onethirtyone: (Clock Sheep!)
Second day off meds in what is essentially a glorified fit of pique, and I am reeaaally feeling it. rainbows! swirlies! I get dizzy just changing my facial expression!

I'm going back to bed!
psalm_onethirtyone: (Try Again To-morrow)
Dear body:

I hate you too. Now do you mind?

No love,
Soujin
psalm_onethirtyone: (Dye My Eyes and Call Me Pretty)
This morning I went shopping with Liz and Erin for the Drag Show--I am going as Hugh Hefner, I am sorry to say. :D I'm still working on what song I want--Erin suggests "I Get a Kick Out of You", which I think may be the winner--and I need to see if I can find one of my boy friends willing to be a Playboy Bunny. :D :D

Now I have a massive headache (lately I have been getting edge-of-migraine headaches all the time, I'm not really sure why. I think it has something to do with when I take my meds, since I'm less likely to get them when I take my meds at around 8, 9, 10 o'clock and more likely to get them when I take at 12, 1, 2 ish. So I think that's the problem), so I'm taking some aspirin and going to try and get my essay done.

If this essay gets done, my weekend is basically golden. I only have a chapter of Anthropology, some scattered French, and History that's not really due until Tuesday, so the essay is the big looming thing. It's only a five-pager, too, it's just that I have... basically no inspiration whatsoever and I wrote four pages yesterday but they're no good so I have to start over from scratch. However! Once it's done, my life improves massively.

And to-night I am going to see a show with Liz. So that should be fun!

Now I will do work.
psalm_onethirtyone: (Little Breezes Dusk and Shiver)
Robbed this meme from [livejournal.com profile] skaryma. Seeing as I am DYING from the plague Liz gave me, I do not have a lot to do besides lie in bed expiring.

Give two characters from any of my fandoms and I will tell you-- no matter how ridiculous the pairing-- the following about their first child (if they are canonically a couple with children, I will make up an uncanon child.)
A. Name
B. Zodiac Sign and/or Hogwarts House
C. Circumstances of Conception
D. PB/Appearance
E. Three Random Facts


RPs count as fandoms.
psalm_onethirtyone: (Body Dysmorphia is a Cliche)
I got into the Vagina Monologues! I auditioned last Thursday, and I got in! I read "Because He Liked to Look at it"! So that's pretty cool.

On the other hand, I think I'm sick--I called Red Cross and let them know that my blood is probably useless. Still debating whether or not I will cop out of class to-morrow--have noticed that every semester I have one early morning class that gives me the mother of all headaches, and I'm not sure I have the stamina for that right now. Sorry, Anthropology. Depends on whether I still feel like death when I wake up.

Also, I called my mother. I love how one perceived insult is all it takes to send me hurtling back down into the pits of misery. Dear brain: I know she said you were a terrible daughter who didn't love her. I'm pretty sure she was joking. That's usually what laughing indicates. Diaf.

ughhhh. Thank God Lent starts Wednesday. I need to cleanse myself.
psalm_onethirtyone: (Gross Things are Cool!)
I may have a thyroid disorder. Going to the hospital around 7:30 a.m. to-morrow for bloodwork for nine different tests.

I am begging for these to come back unsignificantly. I don't need this. Not right now, on top of everything.
psalm_onethirtyone: (Feet)
If this is indeed what going mad feels like, I am not charmed.

I continued to be sick most of yesterday, which I am damn sure is from the blood-giving. But then I went to the India Dinner and not only was it really nice, Dr. Pelkey gave me a bowl of chickpea curry of some kind to take home, and it is the most delicious thing I have ever eaten. So that was good! And then there was o.chem, and I actually think I basically understand what's going on in that class right now--also good, since we have an exam next week.

But I am trying to write a paper for religion that doesn't want to happen, and I still don't feel very good. I blame autumn, and I wish I didn't have to.

Also, this weekend is going to be crazy hell.

And my starfruit haven't ripened. That's okay; just having them there is reassuring, because they're pretty, but I surely would like to have some progression in life.

Edit: one more for the file of Things Cut From Religion Essays )
psalm_onethirtyone: (Love Her For Both of Us)
I gave blood this afternoon when I really shouldn't have, and was sick for the rest of the day; I nearly threw up during my reporter practicum and then again during rural healthcare issues (which would have been mildly ironic, but no). I also had a panic attack in the stairs, although that was only partly from anxiety, the other part being from the blood-giving, which for some reason caused me to tach, I have no idea why. I like giving blood, so there shouldn't be any white-coat syndrome.

But I did finally get my prescription, so hopefully the mania is going to clear up soon. Although actually my roommate went to bed shortly ago and turned off the lights when she did, so I'm not manic any more, I'm on the verge of tears, hello light affective depression, so sorry your vacation was a short one.

School is going fine when I can concentrate on it. Maria's horrifying college situation also seems like it might be evening out a little. My social life is weirdly coherent, considering how frequently I'm on the verge of a nervous breakdown. I hope to be not in the hospital for Hallowe'en this year! There are many good things going on right now, I'm just not in a position to appreciate them at the moment.

I just need to keep reminding myself of that fact.
psalm_onethirtyone: (Clock Sheep!)
Omg. A post that's not about being sick!

Because, even though I am definitely still sick, and losing my voice besides, I actually got out of bed and did things instead of feeling sorry for myself all day!

...Where by things I mean homework and spending three hours at Unity House working on the Pinwheels for Peace project, but that's okay. It was really nice. Toria and Andy and Stephen and I sat around and cut out a million and a half pinwheels that people had coloured during the week, and put them together, and to-morrow Toria and Andy are going to line the main walk on campus with them for International Day of Peace. It's going to be really, really pretty, and I have a sneaking suspicion that I'm going to go around and photograph all of the ones I did, because I'm obnoxious like that.

Also I spent two hours sitting at the very corner of the Sunderland quad with Erin and Liz talking about sexuality and invisible illnesses (Liz has some sort of disastrous arthritis-like condition and Erin and I have mental illnesses). There is something these experiences when you just create or discuss or explode with language that feels very grown-up at the same time it feels very naive and unlike the world.

Half an hour ago Kat and Katie and Sarah kidnapped me and drove us to Sheetz, which I normally boycott, and they bought ice cream and Sarah got jelly beans and I got Gatorade and a cup of noodly hot soup, which my throat is very happy about. It was completely impulsive and I was in my pajamas.

The good thing about being sick is that I literally have had no time to be depressed. I don't mean to imply that you can be nondepressed by staying busy--I hate when people say that--but my head has been filled with this unending mantra of 'oh god I hate being sick' and it's driven everything else out. I haven't wanted to self-injure since this started. I haven't had that feeling of being wrapped up in concrete. I don't know, maybe when your body is fighting so hard to push off sickness, when everything is being directed towards that one goal, there's nothing to spare for anything else. I am just making things up, of course.

My arm is covered with blue and red and gold paint from Stephen's paint pens, which I was using to make pinwheels. I am hoping to wake up to-morrow without a fever.
psalm_onethirtyone: (Gross Things are Cool!)
...Yesterday I had no fever. So I started going to classes again, yay &c. Unfortunately, around four-thirty I had to go to the ER for severe oral thrush, but whatever, they were really nice there and gave me medicine and sent me home.

Yesterday evening I had an allergic reaction to the medicine that I was using for my yeast infection. I had to sedate myself to get to sleep because it was so painful and unrelenting.

THIS MORNING I woke up to go to my shadow and my fever is back to 100.8! JOY.

I'm going to go cry in bed now. CRY.
psalm_onethirtyone: (Body Dysmorphia is a Cliche)
I have a question. You know that weird feeling you get when you burn your tongue? Where it's sort of halfway between numb and raw? Okay. Mine has been like that since Friday. I went to Health and Wellness and they have no idea, and I read through all the side effects associated with Depakote and there's nothing like that there. But this morning when I woke up TMI TIME :D )

Also, it's not just my tongue that's this way, it's my gums and the inside of my lips, too. DOES ANYBODY HAVE ANY IDEA WHAT THIS IS? ;_____; I want it to go away, and I have no idea what steps to take because I've never had anything like this before.

I don't think it's related to my being sick, because I've only had my fever since yesterday (it's down to 99.8 by the way! I'm so excited! I just want it to break soon so I can go back to HAVING A LIFE DEAR GOD). But it's driving me crazy.

Edit. HOLY SHIT VERTIGO WOOOOOOO

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Soujin

January 2012

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