psalm_onethirtyone: (Cascade Pond)
Tuesday's New York Times science section had an article this week on old people getting plastic surgery. That, coupled with my post from Tuesday, has led me to a rather icky discovery of something I did admittedly kind of already know. Which is that we kind of have this ideal, in America -- I don't know how it is in other cultures, having dog-paddled but never really been immersed in any other than American -- that old people are supposed to be adorable grandparents.

Old ladies are supposed to be tiny and do knitting, or fat and do baking, and old men are supposed to whittle things and dispense pithy pieces of wisdom and fix neighbourhood bikes. They're allowed to be lonely, but only so they can adopt small children as honourary grandchildren or be used to shame us generally into spending more time with our own old people. If they're bad-tempered or put their makeup on all over their faces or have to wear Attends or sag in random places, we turn them into the subjects of honestly very mean-spirited comedy.

And I'm not trying to say that everybody needs to go out and adopt some isolated nursing-home inmate, but really I think it's wrong both to idealise old age or to make fun of it. Idealising it removes us from all the problems that come with getting old and also makes it look like people who don't fit the ideal are defective -- hence, I think, things like old-person plastic surgery. I mean, Jesus Christ, this one woman in the article spent seventy-seven thou on facelifts to get rid of wrinkles and implants to cope with sagging breasts. She's eighty. At eighty, people should not have to focusing on this kind of thing. I cannot even count all the better ways to spend that money to enrich one's own life or someone else's. And at the same time this whole "lol let's as a culture shame old people and send them the message that once you are old your usefulness has ended and you should keep out of sight" thing is absolutely heinous.

The thing is, old people are just like everybody else, in that they deserve to be treated with respect. Whether they bake you apple pies and tell stories of their children, or have Alzheimer's and scream at you and refuse to bathe or -- like one old lady I visited while I was working -- have to be talked out of suicide. I've really kind of run the spectrum of old person personality types; I've had an adorable old man who wanted me to meet his cat and showed me around his house and called his wife "Mom", I've had a hilarious old lady with MS who was wheelchair-bound and showed me how to lift her from her chair to her toilet, I had an old man who was totally bedridden and with whom I communicated through really patchy hand signals, and an old lady who threatened to punch me while I was giving her her bath. And every single one of them deserved my respect and the best care I could give them, by virtue of being human beings. And I really hope that's how I've carried myself throughout this summer, and how I do for the rest of my life, because that's not just true of old people, it's true of everyone.

Which is not to say it wasn't hilarious when my one old gentleman had me burn a bonfire made of used Depends, or when Audrey (my Wednesday client) stole the dated brick from a condemned schoolhouse down the street from her apartment (actually, Audrey always does something funny when I visit. ♥ She makes me squee).

In other, non-soapboxy news, I stopped by Michael's to-day to enjoy my new and undoubtedly brief period of solvency. It's been about a whole week since I was over, so they already have about eleven-thousand new products in the scrapbooking section, and I was amazed and ... hilarified? amused is too gentle a word, I think. Hilarified to find that you can now buy adhesive metal gears and keys for your scrapbooking or cardmaking projects. At this point, I'm starting to think that 'steampunkery' should be a word in much the same way 'fuckery' is. I may start using it. "What kind of steampunkery is this?" I will say, staring in disbelief at the fact that you can now buy tiny watch faces as embellishments. They discontinued my goddamn copper pearlised dots that I use for eyes, but they've started producing tiny glitter-covered top hats and monocles that are already adhesive-backed.

Naturally I eschewed this silliness and instead managed to spend seventy-five dollars (!!!!) on scrapbook paper and cake glitter, and that embellished tape I've had my eye on for about six months now. >_>

I also went to Target and discovered that it is nearly impossible to find a black, wire-free bra in 38B. Did you know that there are a lot of black, wire-free bras in the nursing section? There are. There are a lot fewer in regular. But I got to embarrass a teenage male cashier by buying bras and underpants, and I found The Most Beautiful Scarf in the World, which I purchased because of its aesthetic qualities and also I love scarves and also it helps me pretend winter is NOW DAMMIT.

To-morrow I work at the library, and Saturday we are going to our vacation in the mountains. I look forward to sitting in the sun by the lake doing crossword puzzles and reading all day, as well as the greased-watermelon water polo that has become something of a family tradition. Also Maria's birthday! I finished her calender and everything. :D

I would say that to-day was a success.
psalm_onethirtyone: (Cascade Pond)

1. Wahhhh it's still hot I can't focus blah blah I hate hot weather I am currently sleeping on my parents' floor because they bought a small air conditioner for their room because it's HOT. Also the floor is not very comfy, trufax.

2. Wahhh I have been working for the last seven days straight and I will be working to-morrow as well, but Tuesday is my day off and I am going to spend ALL. DAY. in my parents' room watching Twin Peaks in the A/C. Unless I take myself out for lunch, but that will still be to an air-conditioned diner. AND THEN I WILL BE WORKING AGAIN ON WEDNESDAY. I-- yeah. I know some of y'all on my flist work a lot harder than I do, but this whole eight-days-in-a-row-8-hour-shifts-plus-one-12-hour-one thing is killing me. A lot. I just want some time to myself to fool around and take care of my keets and my poults and my fish and my hermit crabs!

3. Twin Peaks is really awesome, though. So great. I really want to read the T.V. Tropes page, but I refuse to spoil it for myself ahead of time. Which... I am the kind of person who reads the last page of murder mysteries first, so I am really feelin' it on this series.

4. Country music. Maaaan, I do like country music. Anyway, I just wanted to remark, apropos of country music, that "Hyundai" is not. pronounced. "hunday". FTLOG. Anyway, they keep playing my favourites on my way to work -- Thompson Square and Josh Turner and Blake Shelton and Reba McEntire -- and I just want to state for the record that I'm not ashamed of enjoying it. I mean, I'm not always in the mood for country, but I do think it makes really good commute music. I can listen to pretentious indie stuff at night while I'm writing poetry.

Also, regarding country music, [ profile] raanve, I found old!Lanselos' song. It's Toby Keith's "I Ain't As Good as I Once Was". Just check it out. :D

5. I am having ~feelings~ about some stuff, but I think that belongs in a locked post because a) ~feelings~ and b) boring introspection is boring. However, I will say that I tend to forget just how... mental illness phobic?... people can be, and it's very jarring to be reminded sometimes.

6. Thursday = surgery day! Woo! That means I get the day off! Now I just need it to stop being so goddamn hot, and we're good.
psalm_onethirtyone: (Cascade Pond)
Ooo! The new LJ header has STARFEESH. Cool.

I am now the Mama of fourteen guinea keets and seven new poults -- though there may be more; the seventh just hatched about two minutes ago. He is being pitiful in the box.

I had a great weekend with [ profile] random_prophet, who is mad cool. Unfortunately, she is also going to Russia for all of next year, so it will be a long while before I see her again.

My work week is crazy again -- they seem to like giving me one very light one and then one insanely heavy one. So -- ugh. 12 hour shift on Saturday with my least favourite client. Who I am also seeing Thursday. Who has no AC. Which -- we have no AC at my house, either, but at my house I do not have to carry old ladies back and forth from the bathroom once an hour. Also, at my house we keep the fans on and try to circulate the air, whereas this client is always cold so she insists on keeping the house warm. Hey, did you know there's a heat advisory going right now? Yeah. So she's going to yell at me when I refuse to heap blankets on her, sigh.[1]

Pigs are coming soon!

Not much interesting news. Mostly I am tired, and sometimes I have time to do art.

[1] I'm not sure if I've explained my thing with heat, but basically I can't function. I mean, I can force myself to if I have to, but being too hot makes me want to sit somewhere and cry and cry, and given half the chance that's exactly what I'll do. Cry and sleep. I can't eat when it's hot, and I'm just generally really miserable. Also I sweat a LOT. So I'm not really very much fun to be around during a heat wave, and left to my own devices I would spend this week in the library or hiding in the cellar reading. Instead, I'm working, and while most of my clients have AC in their homes, which actually makes things better, my Mon.Thus.Sat. client is compounding my dislike of her personality by attempting to cook me to death in her house. Ugh. Naturally my work uniform is sweltering, too.
psalm_onethirtyone: (Feet)
Still depressed/anxious, but trying to keep busy. The problem is that everything feels so blerrrgggh right now.

Whatevs, I go to work in twenty minutes and I shelled out for a couple of computer games and started downloading the next SuperGreatFriend LP (D and D-2, the last one that I haven't seen -- after this I'll have watched all of them!), in an attempt to have a reasonable amount of stuff to fill my time. And I have a friend visiting this weekend, which I'm looking forward to. So! Hopefully that will stave off the ughhh feeling a little.
psalm_onethirtyone: (Not Me! Erro ero)
It wouldn't be a true clusterfuck of a week without something else going wrong, and on that note I went home early from my client yesterday with acute gastritis. :D! Which was okay, in terms of her care, because she went to the hospital! Yeah. But she's home to-day, and I'm supposed to see her, only I feel not great, so I am waiting for Mama to get home with medicine and then I'm going in for part of my shift, because there's no one else to see her and my guilt and responsibility complexes know no bounds. THIS IS HOW I ROLL.

A partial shift shouldn't be so bad. It'll only be five and a half hours, and the toughest part is driving, with the pain, which is what the medicine is for. ...sigh, what is my life.
psalm_onethirtyone: (Annie with Red Hair)
So for those of you who are aware of my weekend of FUBAR (i.e. [ profile] mhari, but shh), GUESS WHAT. My mother did not break her rib after all! Also, the ER doctor thought she was hilarious and prescribed her "full body armour". So that's cool.

I got up at six this morning to go see my client out in Hellafarawayville; the coworker who gave me report on him implied that he was a dirty old man who would try to get me into the shower with him by claiming he couldn't do his own personal care, but actually he was a complete sweetheart. We talked about his family, and his dead wife who he really misses, and farming, and I took care of his ancient blind Pomeranian, who was also a doll. He was pretty low-key -- once I made him his foods and gave him his medicine, he just wanted to talk. So we did! He said yesterday he went to his grandson's fourth of July party and shot clay pigeons for an hour. :D

Now I have an hour or so before I go to see my lady here in town, so I'm camping out at the library stealin' their WiFi before I head down there; it's way shorter than going home and then going out again, and if I don't go home between visits than I can claim reimbursement for mileage, so that is what I am doing. It's not so bad, except I am exhausted and really wish I could nap. Oh, well.

The rabbit chewed through the mouse cord on our computer at home, so we are in the process of seeing whether that can be fixed. If it can, I'll be online to-night. If it can't... hell if I know. My work schedule to-morrow and the day after that is insane anyway, though Wednesday I get to go back to my favourite client, who I only do a four-hour shift with. She is my favouritest favourite.

Positive: Thursday I got a koi and a shubunkin (Liung and Erik), and they are gorgeous. I am training them to come when called, like the others. It took a few weeks with Tash (catfish), but he caught on really well, so I am hoping they will too.
psalm_onethirtyone: (Not Me! Erro ero)

--tried a new type of cupcake to-day, with zero success -- I think I gauged the size wrong (upgraded them from a mini to a full-size, and they were too dense). Oh, well.
--however, amused by the way I can discover a need for any liqueur and my parents will have it. Hello, eighty-year-old bottle of kirsch hiding under the counter.
--the eggs keep having little embryo chickens in them, despite the fact that we have no rooster. If this is a message from God, I wish He'd make it less obscure/gross.
--got my July schedule in the post to-day, it is awful. I'm working every weekend this month plus the Fourth of July. Blehhh. I know I was whining last month about not getting enough shifts, but now I am taking it back, for the love of little kittens, eesh.
--I will have to tell them I can't do the eleventh, because for some ungodly reason I am going to the ~spa~, thank you Mama's best friend. I don't know what exactly they do to you at the spa, but apparently it takes all day, so. I will have to see if I can get the invisible Mandi (I have never met her, I just know she works the client on the days I'm not there) to cover for me.
psalm_onethirtyone: (Spinny Wheel of Death)
I am... pretty much hot and miserable.

I am not sure how, but I ended up with the job of taking care of the poults, and the chicks (which arrive Friday), so to-morrow I will be getting the brooder shed ready for them, which involves evicting the broody turkey hen and moving her eggs to the incubator, papering the floor, and making cardboard fences to keep them separate from each other to begin with. I wouldn't mind except to-morrow is supposed to be SO. HOT. OMG. ;___;

To-day's visits were kind of fun; my first client is one who I've seen before and I really like, she keeps me really busy with cleaning and errands and things, and to-day she let me wash and brush her hair. My second client was new, but she was friendly and very nice. This is certainly a job that involves not judging anybody by appearance -- which is not to say that I make a habit of judging people based on how they look or live, but a lot of the people I visit are very low-income and live in kind of terrible houses, and I know they're what people think of when they say "white trash" and "rednecks", but so many of them are really kind and mostly lonely. And a lot of them have also lived through very tough circumstances. It makes me understand more and more that the only way to approach people is with compassion.

I did get a lecture Monday on how having babies out of wedlock is degenerate and immoral, and everybody -- including Catholic priests and gay people -- should be allowed to marry, which I thought was kind of a fun contrast.

Also, my morning lady said, "I really like you, so they're probably going to get rid of you or something!" and I admitted that I would be leaving the agency at the end of summer, and she said, "And they'll replace you with somebody crap! I know how they do!" I'll be honest, I was really flattered.

But now I am going to go back to sitting in my chair wishing I were dead because of the heat. Maria accused me of not having a real job to-day because a lot of my client houses are air conditioned, whereas she goes lifting beehives around in the heat. Then Mama said we should both shut up because this morning at work she got sprayed in the face with diarrhea. :D
psalm_onethirtyone: (Stellini D'Oro)
Happy barricade day pt. 1!

My job is going really well so far -- it's pretty tiring, but I do like it a lot. Pretty much I just go to the houses of homebound people and do housework, chores, make meals, and do personal care, so not bad. The toughest part has been giving bed baths to one of my ladies, just because she has a hard time moving and I'm so anxious about accidentally hurting her while getting her to shift around for me.

Maria, meanwhile, is loving her job as a state bee inspector. We kind of play a game where we joke about whose job is worse, but I always win, because no matter how many times she says bee stings or sketchy Mennonites, I can always say bedpans and get an instant victory. :P

I am also still getting along nicely on my sekrit summer project -- set up the first of my dates with the photographer. Very cool! So excited! :D :D :D

Other than that I am fairly boring. I tend to come home in the evening and be too tired for anything involving much activity or brain power, although Maria did talk me into a fairly strenuous bike ride to-day which nearly killed me, but then we picked wild strawberries on the bank on our way home. Everything is so beautiful it's absolutely crazy. It either smells like honeysuckle or cow manure, both of which are glorious smells in their own right, and the hayfields are all being mown (we brought in three-hundred and eighty-eight bales over the last week, plus two-hundred that we sold outright). Three turkey poults have hatched, two more are on the way, and we get thirty chicks on Friday (keets a little later). The farm down the road has ducklings and calves. I love it so much.

Anyway, to-morrow I work! From one to nine, which is kind of a stupid shift, but whatevs.

Mama is actually getting kind of excited to meet Jen, to whom she refers only as "that girl you like", so that is promising, although I hope it doesn't make it too awkward when they finally do meet.

Yeah. As I said, a bit boring really. But doing well!
psalm_onethirtyone: (Disappointed)
So I'm sure everyone is desperately interested in hearing the continuation of the Saga of the Insurance Company from Hell (yes, you are).

Yesterday my doctor told me that she had called the insurance company again and faxed them being all URGENT URGENT MY PATIENT IS DYING PLZ SEND HER HER MEDS, and she assured me, when I phoned, that they had told her I would be authorised to have them within twenty-four hours. So this morning I ran to the pharmacy, because I'm out again.

Where the pharmacist told me, as nicely as possible, that the insurance company had NOT authorised my scrip and everyone was now out for the weekend, so it was unlikely I would be authorised until Tuesday. He also suggested that I call the insurance company and grovel to them on Tuesday. In the meantime, I could buy some meds out of pocket.

Now, because the pill I'm taking does not come in 225 mg caps, which is the dose I take, I have to take three 75 mg caps every day. Which means in order to get by until Tuesday, I had to buy twelve caps instead of four. And because Mama is broke right now, I paid for them with my birthday money. ;___; Which is just a minor complaint, honestly, because at least I have money, but I am whinging because I wanted to get art supplies with it.

So my plan is to call the insurance company on Tuesday. Yayyy! In the meantime, I have incredibly expensive medication, and a twelve-hour shift at work to-morrow.

On the PLUS SIDE, Maria and Mama and I went clothes shopping to-day and I managed to find two pairs of jeans that fit, as well as a really cute denim skirt and even a pair of shorts (which is disguised to look like a skirt, which suits me just fine). Which is great, since usually the fact that I am shaped exactly like a hobbit makes clothes shopping a fairly traumatic experience. I also made cupcakes for a party to-morrow that I will not get to go to, but they turned out really nicely! Even though I burnt my hands, bleh.

Yeah. If it weren't for this insurance thing, my life would be going pretty nicely overall.
psalm_onethirtyone: (Cephalopods Need Heart)
So, a little update on what's going on in Soujin-land!

1. I should be asleep right now, but I'm not; for some reason I am not sleeping very well lately, which has led to me sleeping in too late in an effort to get some sleep at all. Last night I had only had four hours, and I still was awake for an hour after turning off the lights and lying down. That's stupid. Anyway.

2. Still at [ profile] mhari's! Having a good time! We are mostly just being colossal dorks with each other, although yesterday we went to the New England Aquarium and it was good times. There were lovely lovely comb jellies and a petting tank with starfish and urchins and horseshoe crabs and a skate, and ANOTHER petting tank with some really gorgeous rays -- both the round Atlantic type and these adorable cownoses, which are so sweet omg. They come right up and bonk your hands. We weren't supposed to touch their bellies, but they kept swimming over and flapping at our hands! Anyway, they have the most amazing texture -- like slightly slimy velvet. So cool. Unfortunately we had to go home before we could visit the octopus, but they had LION'S MANE JELLIES. OMG. Little tiny ones! I am used to conceiving of Lion's Manes in terms of, you know, these VAST MONSTERS with tentacles that get up to thirty feet long. It somehow never occurred to me that they might start out as wee little babbies. So that was pretty sweet.

We also saw some adorbs frogs, although the surinam toad was hiding. :(

Also, [ profile] mhari bought me a blue whale plushie for my birthday. He is enormous and so soft; his name is Captain Shakespeare.

3. I got a job! I start on the twenty-third. It's caregiver work, which is great -- I basically was going to die if I had to take another horrible depressing retail job, so the fact that I get to work with people but in a useful, helpful capacity is fantastic. I'm really looking forward to starting. I don't even know what my wage is and I DON'T CARE.

4. Still haven't figured out this birthday party stuff. Mama said I could have one, but everybody's weird places at weird times and I'm really not sure if it will actually happen. :/ Not a super big deal, I guess.

5. My awesome Summer Project is coming along surprisingly nicely. I bought more stuff for it here, and I can't wait to get back to work on it.

6. Maria and I are going to rock this world this summer. We're both full-time, forty-hours-a-week employed, but we are going to make a list of all the summer films we HAVE TO SEE (like Thor, and First Class) and then DO IT. Cos we can. In between, of course, we will work our asses off and keep bees, because we're rad like that.

7. I am going to make the time to start bicycling again, gdi. I really miss getting to go on long bike rides, and Maria said she wants to start biking too, so it's going to happen. My hope is also that once I start doing something that at least looks like exercise, Mama will get off my case about being fat. THIS HAD BETTER WORK. I do not have the time to squash real exercise in on top of everything else.

8. Chiiiicks! Keeeeets! They're coming June first. I am so super excite.

9. Mama has a new bunny, I don't think I mentioned. It is dopey and very pretty and scares the hell out of the cats.

10. We might actually get internet at home this summer. This one guy up on Gamby Hill is thinking of building a reception tower because he is crazy as pants and apparently wants to be able to get internet, even though we live out in the sticks and most people are Mennonite. If this happens, the whole valley would have internet potentially, so that might actually happen. It would be pretty sweet, I have to say.

11. I am watching a playthrough on YouTube of Deadly Premonition, which is a really neat video game. Also, the guy doing the playthrough is great -- so deadpan and sarcastic and unfazed by everything that happens in the game. LOVE him.

12. That's really all atm. Basically I am busy and scattered and kind of crazy, so if there is something I should be doing with you/in general, please let me know. I'M WORKING ON IT. There are a lot of caps in my life, is what I'm saying, but I still am trying to beat the dialup into submission every night from 10 to 1, so hit me up, I will probably be around.

Although this may all be irrelevant come Saturday and the rapture. :P

Anyway, in the words of the Pope, ciao.
psalm_onethirtyone: (Nota Bene)
So to-day I:

--lined up a job interview for to-morrow
--cleaned the brooder shed
--papered the brooder shed and set it up for the broody turkey
--made my very first planter!
--fished a dead rat out of the pond
--fished Sam's cribbing collar out of the mire in the back of the barn
--established that there are no dead kittens in the barn, so if they did drown in the mire their mama removed the bodies
--fell out of the haymow, and now have skinned legs
--made my parents watch Eddie Izzard's "Dress to Kill"
--cleaned and decorated my room, unpacked and put away all my school things
--organised my closet
--staked one of the hops.

It's not bad, I don't think, considering I didn't wake up until 1.30 and it's my first day back. >_> Also, [ profile] raanve, I would never have gotten through cleaning the brooder shed without your mix. ALSO, I think I found us a Lanselos/Saigremort song.

Going to [ profile] mhari's house on the twelfth! So excited.

Also, FOR THE RECORD, my fish recognise the sound of my voice. I've been conducting experiments, and it's honestly true. They only surface for me, and they do it when I sing their food song, whether or not I throw down food (although that latter bit is pure Pavlovian stuff). COOL.
psalm_onethirtyone: (Grow a Little Good)
How to make hay:

First, you have to be dressed right. Find a sleeveless shirt and your oldest pair of jeans. Faded is best. If you're driving the truck, you can go barefoot, but if you've got to wear shoes, go for ratty sneakers. Wear a baseball hat, and put a bandanna in your back pocket.

Turn off the A/C in the truck. Roll the windows down.

Play country or bluegrass music. If you would normally find these genres embarrassing to listen to (and you shouldn't), don't worry. They'll never be more appropriate. The more outrageously silly the better. I recommend Dierks Bentley's CD "Modern Day Drifter", especially the songs "Domestic, Light, and Cold" and "Cab of My Truck". "So So Long" is good, too.

Sweat a lot.

Get covered with stray alfalfa and orchard grass. It's going to itch. You're probably allergic. Expect to break out everywhere it scratches you. (This is why you're wearing jeans and not shorts.)

If you're not driving the truck, load the hay waggon with the bales. Hope the tension is right. If it's not, your bales will be too heavy (nearly one-hundred pounds) or too loose (the hay will fall out of the twine when you try to pick it up). If it's just right, your bales will weight forty to fifty pounds and will be pure alfalfa and orchard grass, no dead stems, sticks, rocks, dead animals, live animals, or chunks of wood.

In one or two hours, when you've loaded nearly three tonnes of hay into the waggon (that's about one-hundred bales), take it to the barn and stack it in the haymow. The best way to do this is by hand, but you can use a hay elevator if you like. This will probably hurt. You should be wearing gloves, or the skin on your hands will rub off completely. Your clothes will be completely soaked with sweat. The haymow is so hot that you're in danger of passing out. At this point you should probably offer to make dinner (it is now eight o'clock and no one has eaten), so that you don't have to break your back in the mow. That way you also won't get saddled with the arduous task of working the hay waggon back into the barn.

Make dinner by yourself. The new potatoes you just dug out of the garden, boiling on the stovetop, will generate enough heat to keep you sweating. Chop up the beans. Cut yourself. The meatloaf at least was made the night before, so all you had to do was put it in the oven and wait for it to cook.

When you've finished dinner, and you're ready to eat (your sister, personally, hasn't eaten since the biscuits she made for breakfast), wait for your father to come in and have a complete meltdown, involving yelling and passive-aggressive comments, because you want to eat dinner before he tries to fit the broken-down baler back into the equipment shed OH WAIT THAT'S JUST OUR FAMILY.

Maria and I rebelled and ate dinner anyway; he can't understand why we're mad. Now we're going to watch X-Men and can stuff and eat ice cream and probably not speak to him. :P We were discussing whether or not Mama will be sympathetic when she gets home from work, or whether she'll have had a worse day--the care centre has somebody who hits with her cane.

But at least there's ice cream!
psalm_onethirtyone: (Try Again To-morrow)

OKAY. SO. To-day I had an exam, to-morrow I have an exam, Thursday, Saturday, and Monday I have an exam. Friday I have a formal breakfast and I have to get up at around five-thirty for it. Somewhere in here I need to submit my non-credit internship request. MY INTERNSHIP STARTS ON THE THIRTEENTH. AHHH. I don't even have a place to live yet. I don't even get home until the eleventh. AHHH.

THERE IS SO MUCH TO DO AHHH. I still need to finish packing, and I have so much studying left, and AHHHHH. And Professor Miller just assigned four short essays due Thursday because he HATES ME AHHHH. And Wednesday I won't get any studying done because I have a dinner to do to at four that will doubtless last into the night because it did last semester too AHHHHHHH.

Oh God oh God I'm going to die. X____X I just got my bank account FAIL worked out (I managed to overdraw, because the UCBH held onto my cheques for TWO MONTHS before they cashed them and the bank charged me SIXTY-TWO DOLLARS in overdraft fees and AHHH).

BUT ON THE PLUS SIDE MY O.CHEM EXAM WENT REALLY WELL. And the lady at the coffee store in VonLiebig bought me a drink for taking it. <3 Which was really nice, since, you know, I think I did WELL as opposed to coming out of it half-dead. And now I have delicious orange Gatorade (it has electrolytes! they're what plants crave!). And I need to take a shower and study for my short story exam to-morrow and get this religion stuff worked out and AHHHH.

psalm_onethirtyone: (Kerchief)
Well, my workplace called. They'd never sent the check, which was why it hasn't arrived. I said, oh, that okay, even though it's not really, and my manager said, I'll give it to you when you come in Friday.

...I don't work Fridays, I said.

I need you Friday, she said.

I have another job on Friday, I said.

It ends at four-thirty, doesn't it? she said. You can come in at five-thirty.


Okay, I said.

God, I'm useless. And I let her make me work a ten-hour shift on Sunday. Instead of taking Maria to the pool party, like she wanted. And you know what, I was so close to just saying, NO, I QUIT, I do not WANT to work whatever hours you choose to give me because you tell me that you NEED me and cannot COPE without me. Which is so many kinds of not true it's not even funny.

But here is the thing. Daddy would be disappointed. Mama said as much. He had to work much worse shifts much longer when he was a boy, and working in the canning factory. He thinks that my job is easy, and he thinks I am utterly pathetic for getting so upset over this, and I know he will be disappointed if I cop out.

So I am not going to. It's two weeks. I am a good strong girl. I will make it through and I will be bright and useful and competent and capable and if I need a reference, by God they will give me a good reference, because I will be a good worker. I love people. I like feeding people. I will do my job for my customers, and not for my management. And when it's done I will have more money than I did before, so I'll be able to buy schoolbooks, and Daddy will maybe not be proud of me, but he will not think I am a useless wimp.

And that's what.

To-day I helped Mama wire up the garden with chicken wire to keep the turkeys out! The turkeys are ravenous, and they have been eating her bee balm. Also I went out and admired Maria's garden--she planted basil to-day, nestled between the artichokes and the moonsandstars watermelons, which are HUGE. LORD. I fed my fishes and worked on their surprise for when I go away (recorded eight more stories!) and cut out a lot of stuff to sticker. ^__^

Yesterday! Oh, yesterday, I went on a bike ride that turned out to be much too long. I was out for two hours. I went to the Amish Market, which only takes me half an hour, and then when I got there, I though, well, heck, I could bike to work from here! So I did. And that took another half an hour, and was less pleasant because it was along the highway, as opposed to back country roads. And then I just went on down the highway to Route 104, and turned there to go along Klinger Hollow back to Oriental, sort an enormous uphill hypotenuse. I thought I was going to die. XD About halfway through Klinger Hollow I just got off my bike and went up to the first house I saw that had cows (you can always trust people who have about five cows) and rang the doorbell, and said, "Can I please borrow a glass of water?"

And they gave it to me! They were really nice. They gave me the water, and said they liked to bike on hot days, too, and saw me off. I should make them a pie or something, or maybe give them one of the watermelons. I need to think about what would be right.

So anyway from there I got home all right, and realised that I was sunburned all over, and Lord it hurts. My back looks like boiled lobster. Owwwwww. And I also had a minor case of sunstroke and had to lie down the rest of the day. I am not the brightest egg in the box.

But Maria's turkey toms all display now. :D They look so pretty it's great. And her guinea chickens come to-morrow! I am excited. She says guinea keets are smaller than chicks.

Ooh, and yesterday we also washed the dogs in the yard. They both look so tiny once their fur is all flat and wet.

And Levin, my koi, is enormous. He's doubled, as far as I can tell. Also he has either fathered or borne a gigantic number of baby kois. There are at least thirty, all swimming around in there fighting the big goldfish for food. Mama says we should catch them and sell them to the pet store. Maybe we will.

I think this balances out work, somehow.
psalm_onethirtyone: (Try Again To-morrow)

1) They said they mailed my paycheck last Friday, and it hasn't come yet.

2) My manager spent the entire shift harassing me about my political leanings, despite the fact that I told him it was an unprofessional conversation topic and not appropriate for the employee/employer dynamic, and asked him not to talk to me about it. He did this constantly. He would come up while I was talking to other employees and get started on this. And, God, he was so offensive. And I did lose it at one point, when he said that environmentalism was a crock because Al Gore drives a limosine. Yes, I said. And Thomas Jefferson kept slaves. But that didn't make his message, that slavery is wrong, any less true. Nor is environment any less important because the people who talk about it may or may not be hypocrites. And then I felt really guilty because I had lost my temper, but GOD. He did this to me ALL DAY.

3) And he made me do all the bad jobs, like vacuuming the bugs, and followed me around telling me I was doing it wrong the whole time.

4) And then he sent me home two hours before the end of my shift, even though we were busy.

5) And I only made six dollars in tips to-day.

6) Also, my other manager lost the paper she had written my social security number on.

7) Also, despite the fact that when I was hired I explained that I have another job on Fridays, they have tried to schedule me on Fridays.

8) And I said second shift was better than first shift, and I have never been given a second shift.


1) I hate this job.

2) I promised to work for three more weeks; I suck enormously.
psalm_onethirtyone: (We've Got Magic to Do)
Project update:

1. Sagramore/Galahad; Sagramore/Gareth; Sagramore/Guenever; Sagramore/Gwenhwyfac.

2. Two books down, eight to go!

3. Bought paper.

4. Read and reviewed book!

5. Um. No change. >_>

6--you didn't know there was a 6!--. I have decided that from now on, when I go to a grocery or pharmacy or some place that asks if I want to donate a dollar to Children's Miracle Network or what have you, I am going to say yes. I have the money to spare, God knows, for that. And then, when I get the paper shape to sign that they hang up, I will sign it Mordred. That's right, Sir! I'm your PR person! Sure, you're a patricide and a fratricide and a regicide, and have enough issues to float an ark, but, by God, you want kids to have Christmas presents and operations! I have already begun this project.

7. For IBARW, I am reading the Interesting Narrative of Olaudah Equiano.

8. I got a job. I'm not one-hundred percent sure how this happened, honestly, but I am working as a waitress at a teeny little restaurant along 11/15 owned by a really nice couple. I start to-morrow! I still need to read my handbook a couple of times.

9. I need to find the lady in Oriental who fixes zippers. My good black trousers are out of the running otherwise.

10. I know there's a tenth project, I just can't remember what it is exactly right now. It may or may not involve washing the car, since apparently Maria's turkeys roosted on the kayak rack all evening.
psalm_onethirtyone: (And Didn't it Shine?)
To-day I:

Had a job interview, rescued two turtles (wood and box slider), bought black raspberries and shortcake, bicycled a lot, read more of a very annoying story, got involved in a CAR CHASE WITH JEHOVAH'S WITNESSES, read bad pr0n and laughed a lot, buried a fish, chased turkeys, admired tomatoes, played with froglets, helped cook dinner, and wrote three of my GetLaid drabbles.

God help me.

Sagramore/Arthur; Sagramore/A.; Sagramore/Dinadan.

And now I'm tired and for some reason mildly frustrated. Sometimes after a long day I feel like I've done nothing. Also I can't write sex. And everybody keeps reminding me of everything I haven't done, a lot.

(I think I am going to hide under something now and hum until I feel better.)

Edit: links fixed.
psalm_onethirtyone: (When Are We Going to GET SOMEWHERE?)
To-day at the library I was checking in books, and I picked up one and misread the cover as "A King Arthur Knitting Mystery". I believe in actuality it was a blurb by someone King, author of the Knitting Mysteries. In any case!

I started giggling, and my library ladies asked why, and I explained, and Judi said, "The Knits of the Round Table!"

At which point I think I died. But Anyssa furthered the hilarity by saying, "Dammit, Galahad, will you quit trying to attain that Grail pattern? None of us can get it! You might as well PITCH IT IN!"

And I said, "Dinadan! You're a KNITTER of Arthur's Court, not a CROCHETER. Will you concentrate on what knitters are supposed to do!" "But it's more fun crocheting!"

And it was beautiful, and that is why I love where I work. I have given it some thought, sadly. Judi said I should write it as crackfic, but I am not sure. On the other hand! Sagramore would always be knitting slinky revealing underclothes, and Percy would want to give up knitting for weaving, and Gaheris would always snarl his pattern. Of course Gawain would be the best knitter. Lancelot would be good, too, but he would always be taking unfair shortcuts, and "fixing" other people's work, and making tea cozies for Guenever that were better than Arthur's. And Mordred would be bitter because WHAT THE HELL, knitting is SO STUPID and yet it's what they do!

Tristam would belong to the Round Table, but he would keep defecting to another knitting circle elsewhere to make crocheted doilies for Mark's cute young wife and out-knit any suitor who approached her.

Morgause and Morgan would sell yarn to knights. Morgan's would be evil and synthetic or other petty impure things, whereas Morgause's would be harvested from live cats. And she would keep trying to get Mordred to go WHAT THE HELL and start his own knitting circle, and Mordred wouldn't want to. And people like Morvydd and Clar would sell pure, homemade, awesome yarns of Goodness.

Oh, and Kay would be in charge of financing the Table's knitting ventures. omg.

In conclusion: Judi and Anyssa are amazing.
psalm_onethirtyone: (Window)
I love winter; winter doesn't love me. Excuse me while I go lie naked in a bath of Curel.

MARC records tiem nao. :D


psalm_onethirtyone: (Default)

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