You know what? You're wonderful because you've put into words something that I've been trying to put into words for months without making it sound all wrong. You're wonderful for many other reasons too, but for now this is what I'm thinking of.

Relationships do change people. My relationships are all going awry. I cry sometimes because my friends are so different and they're not as innocent and free as they used to be. They don't appear to want to be innocent and free anymore, but I still want to be, and they're putting an end to that. I'm changing too, and I can't help it. I don't want to change. I don't want them to change. It was perfect before, and now everything is different.

"There's no use crying over spilt milk," they say, and it's true. But sometimes I wake up and expect my friends to be sweet and innocent like they used to be, happy and carefree... but I see them and they're different and it scares me. They seem happy one day, and I think that to keep them happy and to keep myself happy, all I need to do is be happy... but then I'm happy and they're violent and bitter and...

I'm not sure.

I should be comforting you, but I don't know how to give it. I'm sorry.

It feels like I've gained something, or something has changed, because you've said something that sounds exactly the way I feel. I wonder what.