"Sebastian, Be My Wife..."

Prom to-night. I am not emotionally ready for the prom. I was inherently depressed all of yesterday, and went to bed at eight without eating dinner or doing much of anything, really. This morning was up at five.

I want to go to the library to-day and stay there in the books where it's safe and never come out.

After the prom we're going to Ezra's and see all of the Thursday Scum club until approximately three in the morning which time we will either sleep over or be dragged home by exhausted parents, and I think it's the latter. Either way, though, I'm not that ready for people. I've been so antisocial for a very long time, and just because I don't hate myself any more doesn't mean I'm ready to go into a huge group of my peers and deal with probably a lot of the things I left public school to avoid.

I'm just--squick. All of a sudden, I don't want to go. I'm too tired, I'm too upset, I'm too on the verge of having another hysterical emotional breakdown as I had at acting yesterday when Harold pretended to lecture me about something and I thought he was serious.

Squick, squick, squick. Everyone else will be pretty. Probably they will be confident. Hopefully none of them will be obsessing about their exercise and dieting if they don't get home in time or up early enough the next morning or get hungry or get trapped at an unfamiliar house with random foodstuffs and have to eat nothing all evening long like last night when I didn't eat anything after one o'clock yesterday afternoon until five-thirty this morning. I am going to feel awful and in the way and scared of people and I really don't thinK I can do this ahhh.

*cries*

And I still can't write anything.

Someone please come save me.

"And Though You Protest Your Disinterest..."

Oh! Thank you, everyone, so much. ^_______^ I'm not frightened any longer.

*hugs everybody exuberantly*

And, and, I have lots of books up in my room, and it's nice and just the right temperature up there, and I've got lovely green beans, and Wicked, and I am going up and read and stay in my room until time to go to the library, and I shall be a princess of my own little kingdom in my room.

And I love you all so much.

And, Lillie, L. Frank Baum is wicked with his puns. It's not at all kind.

"It Seems This Folio Malvolio Has Found..."

tiamatschild? I found a Combeferre!book at the library to-day while I was shelving Children's. It's called Magic in the Mist, and the art is by Trina Schart Hyman who drew the picture in my icon, and it's a Dream sort of story and it makes me think of Combeferre.

I found another one, too, called The Frog Princess? which despite its title was actually very marvellous. The art was gorgeous and the story was just perfect. They have notes on it at the bottom of this page. It makes me think of Manon and Nanni all at once, and it's impossible for any book that does that to be bad.

On the flipside, also shelved romance Christian novels. High on amusement value, admittedly, but--

Maus II and Le Petit Prince came in to-day, and I was able to finish one of the manga Hannah lent me at acting. Also done with The Emerald City of Oz. Now have all my Sewanee books and Jane Eyre and the other two manga yet, as well as my recent additions and my Wodehouse on Crime.

I like books.