"The Wickedest Witch There Ever Was..."
Apr. 15th, 2005 05:26 pm![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png)
I was just thinking about how much I like to be petted and cuddled.
Not in a romantic way, of course; I've never had romantic aspirations towards real people, anyway; but--I like it when people ruffle my hair and hug me for no reason. I like it online, where there's quite the possibility of it happening, but I wish people did it more in real life. I think, perhaps, I'm pricklier in real life.
I was just thinking about it because Ray (at acting) sometimes does it. She says I remind her of herself when she was younger, and she pets me and touches my hair sometimes, and I really, really like that.
I'd rather be quiet and sit beside someone who was playing with my hair and talking to another person than I would talk to the first person, sometimes. I'm an entirely disgraceful attention-whore, and the way I talk doesn't exactly make me good cuddling material, unless you like your cute little things geeky, and I suppose that's probably a good part of why people don't do it as much as I'd enjoy.
A couple of times a week, when I know I'm doing something where I'll be around people not too much older than I am (such as acting), I try to dress so that people like Ray might play with me. I wear skirts instead of dresses, and I never wear trousers any longer (ever since I started work, actually, I haven't, because my people like it better. Most of them think that girls ought to wear dresses, and I comply), and I like my silly-pretty socks. I've been wearing pigtails more often, too.
I don't like to be in control as much as I often am. I have a very imperious way of talking, as well as my rather overblown language usage, and I think it makes me sound a little distant and overeducated, and in control of myself. But I'd much rather be not in control if I could have someone petting me instead.
I like Epimethius because of that. He is cuddly. He's silly and overenthusiastic and he just adores everybody in the world for no reason at all. As Janet says, he's somewhat 'dumb', but that tends to add to his charm. When I'm Epimethius, everyone talks to me. When I'm me, mostly I sit by myself in the far corner of the room and read something.
I'd rather be Epimethius.
Why am I like this? I want to be loved on, literally and figuratively.Perhaps this is another effect of my HORRIBLE, TRAUMATISING, LOVELESS childhood in public school. I don't know. I like to write characters who people love, too. I just want--I want people to like me, and I like having like expressed physically, I suppose. H'm.
In other news, got out Jane Eyre at the library. Ooh.
Not in a romantic way, of course; I've never had romantic aspirations towards real people, anyway; but--I like it when people ruffle my hair and hug me for no reason. I like it online, where there's quite the possibility of it happening, but I wish people did it more in real life. I think, perhaps, I'm pricklier in real life.
I was just thinking about it because Ray (at acting) sometimes does it. She says I remind her of herself when she was younger, and she pets me and touches my hair sometimes, and I really, really like that.
I'd rather be quiet and sit beside someone who was playing with my hair and talking to another person than I would talk to the first person, sometimes. I'm an entirely disgraceful attention-whore, and the way I talk doesn't exactly make me good cuddling material, unless you like your cute little things geeky, and I suppose that's probably a good part of why people don't do it as much as I'd enjoy.
A couple of times a week, when I know I'm doing something where I'll be around people not too much older than I am (such as acting), I try to dress so that people like Ray might play with me. I wear skirts instead of dresses, and I never wear trousers any longer (ever since I started work, actually, I haven't, because my people like it better. Most of them think that girls ought to wear dresses, and I comply), and I like my silly-pretty socks. I've been wearing pigtails more often, too.
I don't like to be in control as much as I often am. I have a very imperious way of talking, as well as my rather overblown language usage, and I think it makes me sound a little distant and overeducated, and in control of myself. But I'd much rather be not in control if I could have someone petting me instead.
I like Epimethius because of that. He is cuddly. He's silly and overenthusiastic and he just adores everybody in the world for no reason at all. As Janet says, he's somewhat 'dumb', but that tends to add to his charm. When I'm Epimethius, everyone talks to me. When I'm me, mostly I sit by myself in the far corner of the room and read something.
I'd rather be Epimethius.
Why am I like this? I want to be loved on, literally and figuratively.
In other news, got out Jane Eyre at the library. Ooh.
(no subject)
Date: 2005-04-15 10:09 pm (UTC)*loves on you in the Internet way*
(no subject)
Date: 2005-04-16 02:01 pm (UTC)*laughs* Oh, teh crazy mad rocking Erin. I love you.*
*lovesback*
*in the platonic, non icky-romantic way.
(no subject)
Date: 2005-04-15 10:40 pm (UTC)I don't see that. *ruffles hair and cuddles*
(And yes, I LOVE my cuddly things to be geeky.)
(no subject)
Date: 2005-04-16 02:02 pm (UTC)(*G* No surprise there, thou beautiful.)
(no subject)
Date: 2005-04-16 02:19 pm (UTC)(no subject)
Date: 2005-04-17 04:59 am (UTC)(no subject)
Date: 2005-04-15 11:39 pm (UTC)And in response to the bulk of your post: *ruffles your hair* I totally sympathize. I'm the same way, except that I used to be also REALLY SUPER SHY irl (and online, too, for that matter) and so I'd go back and forth between wanting everyone to SEE ME HUG ME LOVE ME and OMG DON'T LOOK AT ME.
Now I'm getting better and I'm more into the former than the latter...
...wow, long post. I always manage to make comments be all about me. Me, me, me.
*snuggle*
(no subject)
Date: 2005-04-16 12:10 am (UTC)(no subject)
Date: 2005-04-16 12:22 am (UTC)(no subject)
Date: 2005-04-16 12:34 am (UTC)(no subject)
Date: 2005-04-16 03:16 am (UTC)He's hot, and he's dedicated, and he's only inadverantly an ass. He's like Enjolras (my real Enjolras, whom no one has actually yet met in my fics, is a total ass, but not on purpose - he's just better with distance and abstractions than with actual people who want things from him on a personal level).
(no subject)
Date: 2005-04-16 04:31 am (UTC)(no subject)
Date: 2005-04-16 04:36 am (UTC)St. John is exactly the kind of character with whom I normally fall in love. ;) He's maaarvelous.
Him and Florian. Mmm. Florian...
(no subject)
Date: 2005-04-16 02:05 pm (UTC)(no subject)
Date: 2005-04-16 02:05 pm (UTC)*squees at the ruffles* Yes, see, that's one of my things. I'm not shy unless I'm pretending to be to see if I can make people think I'm completely different from the way I really am. I like to act. *g* If I ever met you IRl, I am absolutely certain I should SEE YOU HUG YOU LOVE YOU, because, really, you are very wicked cool.
And I keep meaning to add you to my flist, and then getting distracted. Aggh!I do that, too. ^_^ But I don't think you were here. *hug*
*When I actually get started reading it. Me = procrastinator, shameless.
(no subject)
Date: 2005-04-16 12:06 am (UTC)Um. Don't mind me if I'm not cuddly. I'm not a very cuddly person in real life. Katy's rather more cuddly, though, so maybe she'll make up for me. *g* I apparently give off a DO NOT TOUCH vibe - I remember once in high school a friend of mine said, "I'd hug you, but I know you don't like hugs," and I don't think we'd ever spoken on the matter. It's interesting playing characters who have a lot of physical contact. Olivia, for instance. (Ha ha! Thought'st thou I could go a whole comment without mentioning Twelfth Night?) I sort of overanalyze things and make sure it makes complete sense to touch someone before I do it. And then if I'm touching someone and the scene stops for a while, I'll immediately break free. In Act 5, Sebastian will sometimes leave his arm around me, which is a little awkward.
And then there's ETC, where I'll hug anyone. Heh.
...point? What point? Yay Jane Eyre! Oh, and for good measure... *hugs and ruffles hair*
(no subject)
Date: 2005-04-16 02:09 pm (UTC)That's certainly okay. It doesn't bother me when people aren't; it's just that I really like it when people are. But people so rarely are that I don't exactly spend all my time noticing. This is getting incoherent, but the gist of it is supposed to me: As if I would be offended at a Lillie for non-cuddliness.
Mmm, Twelfth Night. But I do that too, when I'm acting. As soon as I break character, I break character, completely.
^____^ Oh, who needs a point, really? *squeeeees, hair ruffles!*
(no subject)
Date: 2005-04-16 04:42 pm (UTC)Ah, good.
And yeah, point? Pshaw! *hug and hair ruffle attack!*
(no subject)
Date: 2005-04-16 12:39 am (UTC)*hugs, cuddles, ruffles hair, etc.*
(no subject)
Date: 2005-04-16 02:11 pm (UTC)*ruffle-cuddles back*