("There are no books like a Dane,
And nothing looks like a Dane.
There are no drinks like a Dane,
And nothing thinks like a Dane,
Nothing acts like a Dane,
Or attracts like a Dane.
There ain't a thing that's wrong with any man here
That can't be cured by putting him near
A girly, womanly, female, feminine Dane!"

...okay, so maybe I didn't change any lyrics for that one. *g*)