Soujin (![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png)
psalm_onethirtyone) wrote2006-01-21 11:42 am
psalm_onethirtyone) wrote2006-01-21 11:42 am
"The Trojans didn't Want to Look a Gift Horse in the Mouth..."
Polonius: DUDE. So I want you to go to Paris and slander my son.
Reynaldo: Slander your son?
Polonius: Yeah!
Reynaldo: ...Like... 'Dude, I was thinking about Laertes yesterday! How's he doing, man?'
Polonius: ...No, no. Like, 'Dude! I saw Laertes yesterday! He went into a brothel!'
Reynaldo: ZOMG DID HE?
Polonius: ...No, man.
Reynaldo: ...So then, why'm I saying that?
Polonius: So people will tell you how awesome he is, like he'd never go into a brothel.
Reynaldo: ...But... they're not gonna think that after I say he did.
Polonius: SHUT UP AND GO.
Reynaldo: OKAY! :)
Ophelia: ZOMG DADDY. ;_______________________;
Polonius: What what what?
Ophelia: Hamlet's crazy!
Polonius: Mannn, that was totally not coming. All right, let's go tell Claudius.
SCENE CHANGE.
CLaudius: ROS AND GUIL! DUDE! HI THERE, GIEZ!
Guildenstern: *has fur!* ... Hi there.
Rosencrantz: *is even cuter than Laertes* ... :)!
Claudius: Soooo, you guys. Go make my son not crazy.
Ros and Guil: We are totally on it!
Polonius: HI, CLAUDIUS! HAMLET IS CRAZY!
Claudius: ...No, you think?
Subplot: *POPS UP OUT OF NOWHERE*
Cornelius and Voltemand: Remember us?! :) :)
Audience: ...No.
C&V: Well, it's all good with Norway and Fortinbras. So we totally saved your collective asses. 'BYE NOW. -_______-
Polonius: Dude, whatever. Okay. So Hamlet is crazy.
Gertrude: ...Moving on.
Polonius: Speaking of moving, you should see the way that kid's madness moves on him, like a wolf grabbing a lamb by the throat, my friends--
Gertrude: DUDE. SHUT UP AND GET TO THE POINT.
Polonius: Okay, okay, fine. Here's bad love poetry he sent my baby girl.
Gertrude: ...This means he's crazy?
Polonius: Zomg, have you READ this stuff? It's crazy.
Gertrude: 'Doubt that the sun doth...' blah blah blah... Yeah, this stuff's pretty bad, but all it proves to me is that emo kids write bad poetry.
Polonius: HE LOVES MY DAUGHTER AND HE CAN'T HAVE HER AND HE'S CRAZY. >:(
Gertrude: ...Okay, fine. --Oh, hey, Hamlet!
Hamlet: ZOMG DON'T TOUCH. ;___________________;
Polonius: Hi, there, emo kid!
Hamlet: ;____________; Don't touch. *runs away*
Polonius: *STALKS*
Hamlet: ...You're a fishmonger. Go away. I'm reading. ;_____; --Dude, do you have a daughter?
Polonius: SEE?! SEE?! I TOTALLY TOLD YOU! BWAHAHAHAH I WIN! ...Plus he thought I was a fishmonger. The boy is CRAZY, yo. --What are you reading?
Hamlet: Stuff. Go away.
Polonius: What stuff?
Hamlet: STUFF ABOUT HOW PATHETIC YOU ARE. GO AWAY AND LEAVE ME TO MY EMO.
Polonius: ...Okay, man. 'Bye!
Hamlet: ABOUT TIME. *pulls dagger* LOOK HOW MISERABLE YOU MAKE ME! LOOK, IT'S SHARP!
Polonius: *runs*
Ros and Guil: HI! :) :)
Hamlet: *stops crying and bounces* Hiiiiiiiii, giez! I love you!
Ros: :) :)!!
Hamlet: *bawdy joke*
Ros: XD XD XD OH, MAN. YOU ARE SO FUNNY.
Guil: ... Shut up, Ros.
Hamlet: Denmark is a horrible scary prison!
Ros: ;_________; I didn't know that.
Hamlet: Yeah. Plus I have bad dreams.
Guil: Get over it, huh?
Hamlet: ...So, why did you guys come again?
Ros: We love you! :) :) :)
Hamlet: Yeah, right. Liars zomg. You came to make me not crazy!
Guil: No, we really didn't.
Hamlet: Say what?
Guil: Nobody could make you not crazy, man.
Ros: ...Aren't we supposed to, though?
Hamlet: Well, I'm crazy.
Guil: DUDE. NO. I DON'T BELIEVE IT. Um, yeah, that's totally obvious, dude.
Hamlet: MAN DELIGHTS NOT ME!
Ros: XD XD
Hamlet: ...Shut up.
Guil: So, there are players coming.
Hamlet: LOVE YOU GIEZ!
Ros: Hey, look! I'm taller than you, too! :)
Hamlet: ...I hate you so much. By the way, I'm only half-crazy. *wink wink*
Ros and Guil: ...Uh-huhhhhhhh.
Polonius: Guess what!
Hamlet: PLAYERS COME YAY! :)
Polonius: ...Man, I hate you.
Players: HI WE'RE SHINY. :D :D :D
Hamlet: Zomg they're so shiiiiiiiiiiiny! I love you I love you!
Player King: Aren't we? ;D
Hamlet: <333333333333333
Player King: So, anything you want?
Hamlet: HECUBA! I WANT THOSE TROJANS TO BOOGIE!
Player King: ...Oh, man, how you fail at this speech. Allow a master to show you how.
Polonius: ...I thought you did a good job! :D
Hamlet: Dude, shut up.
Player King: *totally pwns Hamlet at recitation*
Polonius: Dude, but he's boring.
Hamlet: ZOMG SHUT UP. ;______________________________;
Polonius: ...Mobled queen is good! :D
Hamlet: SHUT UP OR I KEEL JOO.
Player King: *continues to pwn*
Polonius: Dude, he's crying now. I hate this so much.
Hamlet: I hate YOU. ;__________; Go away and give them a nice place to stay until this evening.
Polonius: Whatever.
Hamlet: NICE PLACE. DIE, you stupid stupid person. Talk about caviar to the general.
Ros and Guil: ...'Bye now?
Hamlet: 'BYE! :)
Ros and Guil: *exuent*
Hamlet: HATE YOU ALL SO VERY VERY MUCH.
Reynaldo: Slander your son?
Polonius: Yeah!
Reynaldo: ...Like... 'Dude, I was thinking about Laertes yesterday! How's he doing, man?'
Polonius: ...No, no. Like, 'Dude! I saw Laertes yesterday! He went into a brothel!'
Reynaldo: ZOMG DID HE?
Polonius: ...No, man.
Reynaldo: ...So then, why'm I saying that?
Polonius: So people will tell you how awesome he is, like he'd never go into a brothel.
Reynaldo: ...But... they're not gonna think that after I say he did.
Polonius: SHUT UP AND GO.
Reynaldo: OKAY! :)
Ophelia: ZOMG DADDY. ;_______________________;
Polonius: What what what?
Ophelia: Hamlet's crazy!
Polonius: Mannn, that was totally not coming. All right, let's go tell Claudius.
SCENE CHANGE.
CLaudius: ROS AND GUIL! DUDE! HI THERE, GIEZ!
Guildenstern: *has fur!* ... Hi there.
Rosencrantz: *is even cuter than Laertes* ... :)!
Claudius: Soooo, you guys. Go make my son not crazy.
Ros and Guil: We are totally on it!
Polonius: HI, CLAUDIUS! HAMLET IS CRAZY!
Claudius: ...No, you think?
Subplot: *POPS UP OUT OF NOWHERE*
Cornelius and Voltemand: Remember us?! :) :)
Audience: ...No.
C&V: Well, it's all good with Norway and Fortinbras. So we totally saved your collective asses. 'BYE NOW. -_______-
Polonius: Dude, whatever. Okay. So Hamlet is crazy.
Gertrude: ...Moving on.
Polonius: Speaking of moving, you should see the way that kid's madness moves on him, like a wolf grabbing a lamb by the throat, my friends--
Gertrude: DUDE. SHUT UP AND GET TO THE POINT.
Polonius: Okay, okay, fine. Here's bad love poetry he sent my baby girl.
Gertrude: ...This means he's crazy?
Polonius: Zomg, have you READ this stuff? It's crazy.
Gertrude: 'Doubt that the sun doth...' blah blah blah... Yeah, this stuff's pretty bad, but all it proves to me is that emo kids write bad poetry.
Polonius: HE LOVES MY DAUGHTER AND HE CAN'T HAVE HER AND HE'S CRAZY. >:(
Gertrude: ...Okay, fine. --Oh, hey, Hamlet!
Hamlet: ZOMG DON'T TOUCH. ;___________________;
Polonius: Hi, there, emo kid!
Hamlet: ;____________; Don't touch. *runs away*
Polonius: *STALKS*
Hamlet: ...You're a fishmonger. Go away. I'm reading. ;_____; --Dude, do you have a daughter?
Polonius: SEE?! SEE?! I TOTALLY TOLD YOU! BWAHAHAHAH I WIN! ...Plus he thought I was a fishmonger. The boy is CRAZY, yo. --What are you reading?
Hamlet: Stuff. Go away.
Polonius: What stuff?
Hamlet: STUFF ABOUT HOW PATHETIC YOU ARE. GO AWAY AND LEAVE ME TO MY EMO.
Polonius: ...Okay, man. 'Bye!
Hamlet: ABOUT TIME. *pulls dagger* LOOK HOW MISERABLE YOU MAKE ME! LOOK, IT'S SHARP!
Polonius: *runs*
Ros and Guil: HI! :) :)
Hamlet: *stops crying and bounces* Hiiiiiiiii, giez! I love you!
Ros: :) :)!!
Hamlet: *bawdy joke*
Ros: XD XD XD OH, MAN. YOU ARE SO FUNNY.
Guil: ... Shut up, Ros.
Hamlet: Denmark is a horrible scary prison!
Ros: ;_________; I didn't know that.
Hamlet: Yeah. Plus I have bad dreams.
Guil: Get over it, huh?
Hamlet: ...So, why did you guys come again?
Ros: We love you! :) :) :)
Hamlet: Yeah, right. Liars zomg. You came to make me not crazy!
Guil: No, we really didn't.
Hamlet: Say what?
Guil: Nobody could make you not crazy, man.
Ros: ...Aren't we supposed to, though?
Hamlet: Well, I'm crazy.
Guil: DUDE. NO. I DON'T BELIEVE IT. Um, yeah, that's totally obvious, dude.
Hamlet: MAN DELIGHTS NOT ME!
Ros: XD XD
Hamlet: ...Shut up.
Guil: So, there are players coming.
Hamlet: LOVE YOU GIEZ!
Ros: Hey, look! I'm taller than you, too! :)
Hamlet: ...I hate you so much. By the way, I'm only half-crazy. *wink wink*
Ros and Guil: ...Uh-huhhhhhhh.
Polonius: Guess what!
Hamlet: PLAYERS COME YAY! :)
Polonius: ...Man, I hate you.
Players: HI WE'RE SHINY. :D :D :D
Hamlet: Zomg they're so shiiiiiiiiiiiny! I love you I love you!
Player King: Aren't we? ;D
Hamlet: <333333333333333
Player King: So, anything you want?
Hamlet: HECUBA! I WANT THOSE TROJANS TO BOOGIE!
Player King: ...Oh, man, how you fail at this speech. Allow a master to show you how.
Polonius: ...I thought you did a good job! :D
Hamlet: Dude, shut up.
Player King: *totally pwns Hamlet at recitation*
Polonius: Dude, but he's boring.
Hamlet: ZOMG SHUT UP. ;______________________________;
Polonius: ...Mobled queen is good! :D
Hamlet: SHUT UP OR I KEEL JOO.
Player King: *continues to pwn*
Polonius: Dude, he's crying now. I hate this so much.
Hamlet: I hate YOU. ;__________; Go away and give them a nice place to stay until this evening.
Polonius: Whatever.
Hamlet: NICE PLACE. DIE, you stupid stupid person. Talk about caviar to the general.
Ros and Guil: ...'Bye now?
Hamlet: 'BYE! :)
Ros and Guil: *exuent*
Hamlet: HATE YOU ALL SO VERY VERY MUCH.