Valentine: *tries very hard to look innocent, and totally fails* Fooling, madam?

(Way too many. And for the AU, at this point I'm ready to bring in a total deus ex machina - "Hi! I'm Cesario of Messaline, long-lost male triplet of Sebastian and Viola, and I've spent the last seven years trying to swim to shore! There wouldn't happen to be an insane, marriageable countess here, would there?"

Aw, okay.)