"I Want You to Show Me..."
Oct. 19th, 2006 07:52 pm![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png){kind=small}
psalm_onethirtyoneMONTHLY PICSPAM TIME. ...Not that there won't be another Hallowe'en picspam later, but, hey, you like to look at photographs, right? ...Right? ^^
The first part is dedicated to the new arrival in our house, our beloved Sugar Magnolia, who also goes by Maggie, Mags, Magmag, Magdalena, Sugar, Muffin, Monkey, Applesauce, Baby, Babe, and Orsino. Among other names.
...She went to sleep in an inner tube. ^^ OMG TEH CUTES.
Did I mention she eats grass? She eats grass. She watched the horses doing it for a little while and then started imitating their grazing.
Sandy says Bitch, plz.
But there are plenty of other attractions around the house! For example:
Mum in the rearview mirror.
Our adorable gourds! ^_______^ I picked them out.
Also, Soujin in Hats.
But the crowning glory of to-day's picspam is What Not to Wear. We know that it has been recommended in the past that Soujin go on said show; but since she couldn't get a slot, she decided to do her own offshoot. She has tried on ten truly dreadful outfits and will now describe them in arch detail so that anyone who thinks they're not so bad, really, will feel belitted and stupid. :D We assume that will stay true to the spirit of the television show. Everybody ready? Okay, here we go.
Actually, our first item, these boots, are not so bad. Soujin almost bought them. Then she realised that she nearly breaks her neck every day as it is, and she dosn't need heels to help her along.
Our first selection is a pink dress with pink embroidered flowers. As you can see, it goes from 'awful' to 'barely possible' with the scarf, but in general the colour scheme, being as it is reminiscent of being smothered to death by pink bunnies, Does Not Work.
Our second is this lovely black and white and green camouflage-type outfit. You can't tell, but it's spandex. It's all-purpose! You can wear it while hunting in style! Unfortunately, it doesn't flatter curves.
One of Soujin's very favourites; it's a lovely silk print dress. We will charitably describe the pattern as 'busy'.
While this dress renders the wearer rather lumpy, as it has not enough fabric in the hips and too much in the bust...
...it does have one advantage. It's SPARKLY.
Me, I love horizontal stripes.
It's hard to do photographical justice to this next one. It's a knit skirt and poncho ensemble, in a maroon colour. It's lumpy wool, and-- and it's a miniskirt. Did I mention that? A miniskirt and miniponcho. Check it out.
The best part is that it was on the plus-size rack. Plus-size what? Six-year-olds?
Me, I love vertical stripes.
We did find one pretty dress. Here is Waen wearing it:
Which brings us to the Lace Monstrosity. It's beige and unflattering, and it has shoulder pads. And lace.
Now, I know what you're thinking. You're thinking, Soujin, nobody could be flattered by all that lace. The jacket's awful. Take it off. I bet it looks better off.
Unfortunately, you're wrong there.
THIS PICTURE HAS BEEN REMOVED DUE TO ITS HIDEOUS NATURE. THERE WILL BE NO MORE VIEWINGS. >:(
Since I know everyone's brains need cleansing after that, this next one is rather too covering. It is a nice shade of red, but that doesn't stop it from looking like a raincoat.
...A raincoat with a rilly ugly belt.
Finally, we'll close up this month's episode with a leopard-print minidress with high collar and pockets.
Wasn't that special? Coming next month: SHORTS. >:D
...I hope at least someone laughed, because I have thoroughly embarrassed myself. I shall now go eat lots of ice cream.
The first part is dedicated to the new arrival in our house, our beloved Sugar Magnolia, who also goes by Maggie, Mags, Magmag, Magdalena, Sugar, Muffin, Monkey, Applesauce, Baby, Babe, and Orsino. Among other names.
...She went to sleep in an inner tube. ^^ OMG TEH CUTES.
Did I mention she eats grass? She eats grass. She watched the horses doing it for a little while and then started imitating their grazing.
Sandy says Bitch, plz.
But there are plenty of other attractions around the house! For example:
Mum in the rearview mirror.
Our adorable gourds! ^_______^ I picked them out.
Also, Soujin in Hats.
But the crowning glory of to-day's picspam is What Not to Wear. We know that it has been recommended in the past that Soujin go on said show; but since she couldn't get a slot, she decided to do her own offshoot. She has tried on ten truly dreadful outfits and will now describe them in arch detail so that anyone who thinks they're not so bad, really, will feel belitted and stupid. :D We assume that will stay true to the spirit of the television show. Everybody ready? Okay, here we go.
Actually, our first item, these boots, are not so bad. Soujin almost bought them. Then she realised that she nearly breaks her neck every day as it is, and she dosn't need heels to help her along.
Our first selection is a pink dress with pink embroidered flowers. As you can see, it goes from 'awful' to 'barely possible' with the scarf, but in general the colour scheme, being as it is reminiscent of being smothered to death by pink bunnies, Does Not Work.
Our second is this lovely black and white and green camouflage-type outfit. You can't tell, but it's spandex. It's all-purpose! You can wear it while hunting in style! Unfortunately, it doesn't flatter curves.
One of Soujin's very favourites; it's a lovely silk print dress. We will charitably describe the pattern as 'busy'.
While this dress renders the wearer rather lumpy, as it has not enough fabric in the hips and too much in the bust...
...it does have one advantage. It's SPARKLY.
Me, I love horizontal stripes.
It's hard to do photographical justice to this next one. It's a knit skirt and poncho ensemble, in a maroon colour. It's lumpy wool, and-- and it's a miniskirt. Did I mention that? A miniskirt and miniponcho. Check it out.
The best part is that it was on the plus-size rack. Plus-size what? Six-year-olds?
Me, I love vertical stripes.
We did find one pretty dress. Here is Waen wearing it:
Which brings us to the Lace Monstrosity. It's beige and unflattering, and it has shoulder pads. And lace.
Now, I know what you're thinking. You're thinking, Soujin, nobody could be flattered by all that lace. The jacket's awful. Take it off. I bet it looks better off.
Unfortunately, you're wrong there.
THIS PICTURE HAS BEEN REMOVED DUE TO ITS HIDEOUS NATURE. THERE WILL BE NO MORE VIEWINGS. >:(
Since I know everyone's brains need cleansing after that, this next one is rather too covering. It is a nice shade of red, but that doesn't stop it from looking like a raincoat.
...A raincoat with a rilly ugly belt.
Finally, we'll close up this month's episode with a leopard-print minidress with high collar and pockets.
Wasn't that special? Coming next month: SHORTS. >:D
...I hope at least someone laughed, because I have thoroughly embarrassed myself. I shall now go eat lots of ice cream.
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