It is horribly difficult to get through the first term. No matter what background one comes from, there's always *something* that will catch you out - whether it's a stupid practicality, like my friend Shaun, who had to be shown how to use a washing machine, or something out of left-field (I'd never stayed in the same town for a ten-week stretch (UK term) in my *life*. I don't think I'd ever gone a single week without travelling anywhere at a pace above walking. It drove me quite, quite batty).
Also, it is horribly difficult to sort out food just for oneself, even for people without ED history. Cooking needs an audience, and your familiar tools in their familiar places, otherwise it's a chore.
The social thing will all shake down in a month or two, (I am about to deploy logic again I'm afraid!). What you have at the moment is a random mix of people, all kinda scared and kinda lonely and wondering how they'll ever fit in, all jumbled up together. Over the course of the next few weeks and months, things start to shake out; people begin to cluster into proper friendship groups rather than artificial 'you live in the same hall/attend the same course' type links. That's why you have the 'freshers fair' or whatever they call it, where you join clubs; common interest is a good place to start looking for people like you. Yes, you feel you have to try to fit in, but you know what? Most of the people you're meeting right now, the ones who wouldn't understand you if you were yourself? Those are the people who will become 'oh, yeah, that girl' in later years. The people who'll become your friends - the people who are important - are the ones you don't have to 'fit in' around, so don't worry too much about first impressions. (In short: there are a shedload of people. They're all caught up with worrying too. Most of them it doesn't matter what they think. The ones that will matter won't care what first impression you make).
So you see, it's ok to be struggling. You aren't weak, or a failure, or anything; it's just damn hard, what you're doing, even for people with all the social confidence and other advantages in the world. You are beautiful, funny, intelligent and kind, and it will all be all right in a while.
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It is horribly difficult to get through the first term. No matter what background one comes from, there's always *something* that will catch you out - whether it's a stupid practicality, like my friend Shaun, who had to be shown how to use a washing machine, or something out of left-field (I'd never stayed in the same town for a ten-week stretch (UK term) in my *life*. I don't think I'd ever gone a single week without travelling anywhere at a pace above walking. It drove me quite, quite batty).
Also, it is horribly difficult to sort out food just for oneself, even for people without ED history. Cooking needs an audience, and your familiar tools in their familiar places, otherwise it's a chore.
The social thing will all shake down in a month or two, (I am about to deploy logic again I'm afraid!). What you have at the moment is a random mix of people, all kinda scared and kinda lonely and wondering how they'll ever fit in, all jumbled up together. Over the course of the next few weeks and months, things start to shake out; people begin to cluster into proper friendship groups rather than artificial 'you live in the same hall/attend the same course' type links. That's why you have the 'freshers fair' or whatever they call it, where you join clubs; common interest is a good place to start looking for people like you. Yes, you feel you have to try to fit in, but you know what? Most of the people you're meeting right now, the ones who wouldn't understand you if you were yourself? Those are the people who will become 'oh, yeah, that girl' in later years. The people who'll become your friends - the people who are important - are the ones you don't have to 'fit in' around, so don't worry too much about first impressions. (In short: there are a shedload of people. They're all caught up with worrying too. Most of them it doesn't matter what they think. The ones that will matter won't care what first impression you make).
So you see, it's ok to be struggling. You aren't weak, or a failure, or anything; it's just damn hard, what you're doing, even for people with all the social confidence and other advantages in the world. You are beautiful, funny, intelligent and kind, and it will all be all right in a while.