ext_30779 ([identity profile] rainbowjehan.livejournal.com) wrote in [personal profile] psalm_onethirtyone 2010-04-01 06:11 pm (UTC)

I want to say now that I'm not sure I can pull off Rhianna/Gary, because I don't feel 100% comfortable with Rhianna--but if you want someone else, please ask.

i. The hardest part is reconciling herself with the fact that she's not in the right time any more, that something is wrong down on the most basic level of when she should feel tired and what time the sun is coming up--her watch is all wrong. After that it's the fact that the place is different, and then that the awkward young man in front of her used to be her husband, and maybe still is, in some impossible-to-say way.

But the worst part is that he's already married to her, or to the woman who isn't quite her, and she's her own rival--no matter how much she wants to kiss him, to claim him as her own, he belongs to someone else.

ii. It's a bad decision, and they know it when they make it. That doesn't stop anything, it's just something they know, even when they're falling into her bed together, even when she realises that he isn't Gary anymore, that something's changed subtly but surely in the way he moves.

He kisses her without guilt, with familiarity. He isn't thinking of her as someone from his past any more--she's the present, she's his own, there's no one to betray her with because there's no one else.

Karen bites back the anger that swells up in her because of it, but her own kisses get fiercer, and she digs her nails into his back.

It doesn't disturb him at all.

iii. "I just don't understand how it happened, is all."

"Neither do I," she snaps.

Gaheris runs his hand through his hair tiredly, and flickers a look at her. "But you know me."

"That's what I said."

"I don't know you."

"Yeah, I kind of noticed."

"Is there aught you want from me?"

"No. Jesus."

His tired mouth turns up at one corner, in a smile like the twist of a curled seashell. He leans over and kisses her softly.

Karen knots her hands in her lap and doesn't respond.

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