Perhaps fortunately, I can't see that metaquotes posting, but I wanted to tip my hat to your many wisenesses here. I had the privilege of holding my dying grandmother's hand while her painkiller device was changed; her children, entirely understandably, weren't able to watch. This was a very small thing for me to do (I don't know if she was even aware of it), but I was glad to have the distance to do it - IIRC this was my sole visit to the hospice, whereas my aunts and uncles had to cope with the whole process day in, day out, for weeks or months. As well as, omg, it's their mum. I wasn't tougher or kinder than anyone else, just in a better position to cope at that moment. Gods know how I will cope when it's my mum. We shall see.