"I'm Getting Older and I Need Something to Rely On..."
Curiously, my arms (and possibly other places) are achy to-night.
2006-01-21
"I Don't Believe a Word of What You're Telling Me..."
Haaaaaaaaaaaaaaamlet.
Horatio is such a dork. He's all: ZOMG it's cold! ZOMG. I hate you all for making me come out in the cold.
And Bernardo and Marcellus are all: Ghost! Ghost! Lookit the ghost!
And Horatio is all: ZOMG COLD YOU GIEZ. ;______________; -- OH MY GOD, IT'S A GHOST.
Too wonderful.
And then Claudius is all: *swagger swagger smirk*
And Laertes is RILLY RILLY CUTE and all: ...Hiiii! :) :)
And Claudius is all: Whatever, go to France.
And then Hamlet is all: *SULK*
And Claudius is all: Gawd, you are such a brat. But, you know, whatever, stay here and be my kid.
And Hamlet is all: *hisss* NO, MAN.
And Gertrude is all: Hamlet, plz, stop being a brat and stay here.
And Hamlet's all: Okay, fine, since you asked.
And then everybody files out and he emos a lot and Horatio comes in! DadadaDA.
Horatio: ...Hiiii...! :)
Hamlet: Dude, whatever. --ZOMG, HORATIO!
Horatio: :) :) ...!... ?...
Hamlet: HIIIIIIIIIII! DUDE, YOU CAME!
Horatio: ...Yeah, for the funeral...
Hamlet: Yeah, man, whatever, for the wedding. Thrift thrift and all that, wotwot. I'm so clever and so angsty.
Horatio: ...
Hamlet: I think I see my father, man.
Horatio: ZOMG WHERE?!?!?!
Hamlet: ...Um. You know. In my head. Since he's. You know. Dead, man.
Horatio: ;___________________; Don't ever scare me like that again. I saw your father last night.
Hamlet: WTF NO.
Horatio: Ohhhh, yeah. And MAN, was he creepy.
Hamlet: ...
Horatio: ...You wanna see him to-night?
Hamlet: DUDE YES. WHAT DID HE LOOK LIKE?
Horatio: ...Like he looked. You know.
Hamlet: Okay. To-night, man! I love you!
Horatio: :) :)...!
Hamlet: ...All of you.
Horatio: ... :(
SCENE CHANGE.
Laertes: *is cute*
Ophelia: *is not*
SCENE CHANGE.
Hamlet: Dude, it's cold.
Horatio: DUDE, I KNOW. ;_________________________________________;
Ghost: HI THERE! Catch me if you can! *turns and bounces off in his glowing green radioactive armour*
Hamlet: WTF WTF ZOMG. DAD.
Horatio: Okay, you've seen him. Now STAY HERE.
Hamlet: I'm going after him!
Horatio: ZOMG NO.
Hamlet: 'BYE!
Ghost: Dude, so your uncle killed me. This really pisses me off. It makes me shouty. DUDE TAKE REVENGE ALREADY.
Hamlet: *falls on the ground and criez*
Ghost: ACT LIKE A MAN. STAB THAT GUY.
Hamlet: *criiiiiiez*
Ghost: Okay, whatever. I'm out of here.
Hamlet: *criiiiiiiiiez and flails*
Horatio: ZOMG ARE YOU OKAY? *unnecessary touching zomg*
Hamlet: *babbles* SWEAR YOU NEVER SAW ANYTHING TO-NIGHT!
Horatio: ...Dude, major overkill. If I tell anybody I saw your dad looking radioactive, they will totally commit me.
Hamlet: SWEAR DAMMIT.
Horatio: ...Dude, I'm taller than you are! :) :)
Hamlet: SWEAR OR I KILL JOO.
Horatio: Okay, okay, fine, whatever. *swears*
Hamlet: Whew. Great. Now, if I start to act crazy, don't worry about it, okay?
Horatio: ...If you start to act crazy?
SCENE CHANGE.
Horatio is such a dork. He's all: ZOMG it's cold! ZOMG. I hate you all for making me come out in the cold.
And Bernardo and Marcellus are all: Ghost! Ghost! Lookit the ghost!
And Horatio is all: ZOMG COLD YOU GIEZ. ;______________; -- OH MY GOD, IT'S A GHOST.
Too wonderful.
And then Claudius is all: *swagger swagger smirk*
And Laertes is RILLY RILLY CUTE and all: ...Hiiii! :) :)
And Claudius is all: Whatever, go to France.
And then Hamlet is all: *SULK*
And Claudius is all: Gawd, you are such a brat. But, you know, whatever, stay here and be my kid.
And Hamlet is all: *hisss* NO, MAN.
And Gertrude is all: Hamlet, plz, stop being a brat and stay here.
And Hamlet's all: Okay, fine, since you asked.
And then everybody files out and he emos a lot and Horatio comes in! DadadaDA.
Horatio: ...Hiiii...! :)
Hamlet: Dude, whatever. --ZOMG, HORATIO!
Horatio: :) :) ...!... ?...
Hamlet: HIIIIIIIIIII! DUDE, YOU CAME!
Horatio: ...Yeah, for the funeral...
Hamlet: Yeah, man, whatever, for the wedding. Thrift thrift and all that, wotwot. I'm so clever and so angsty.
Horatio: ...
Hamlet: I think I see my father, man.
Horatio: ZOMG WHERE?!?!?!
Hamlet: ...Um. You know. In my head. Since he's. You know. Dead, man.
Horatio: ;___________________; Don't ever scare me like that again. I saw your father last night.
Hamlet: WTF NO.
Horatio: Ohhhh, yeah. And MAN, was he creepy.
Hamlet: ...
Horatio: ...You wanna see him to-night?
Hamlet: DUDE YES. WHAT DID HE LOOK LIKE?
Horatio: ...Like he looked. You know.
Hamlet: Okay. To-night, man! I love you!
Horatio: :) :)...!
Hamlet: ...All of you.
Horatio: ... :(
SCENE CHANGE.
Laertes: *is cute*
Ophelia: *is not*
SCENE CHANGE.
Hamlet: Dude, it's cold.
Horatio: DUDE, I KNOW. ;_________________________________________;
Ghost: HI THERE! Catch me if you can! *turns and bounces off in his glowing green radioactive armour*
Hamlet: WTF WTF ZOMG. DAD.
Horatio: Okay, you've seen him. Now STAY HERE.
Hamlet: I'm going after him!
Horatio: ZOMG NO.
Hamlet: 'BYE!
Ghost: Dude, so your uncle killed me. This really pisses me off. It makes me shouty. DUDE TAKE REVENGE ALREADY.
Hamlet: *falls on the ground and criez*
Ghost: ACT LIKE A MAN. STAB THAT GUY.
Hamlet: *criiiiiiez*
Ghost: Okay, whatever. I'm out of here.
Hamlet: *criiiiiiiiiez and flails*
Horatio: ZOMG ARE YOU OKAY? *unnecessary touching zomg*
Hamlet: *babbles* SWEAR YOU NEVER SAW ANYTHING TO-NIGHT!
Horatio: ...Dude, major overkill. If I tell anybody I saw your dad looking radioactive, they will totally commit me.
Hamlet: SWEAR DAMMIT.
Horatio: ...Dude, I'm taller than you are! :) :)
Hamlet: SWEAR OR I KILL JOO.
Horatio: Okay, okay, fine, whatever. *swears*
Hamlet: Whew. Great. Now, if I start to act crazy, don't worry about it, okay?
Horatio: ...If you start to act crazy?
SCENE CHANGE.
"The Trojans didn't Want to Look a Gift Horse in the Mouth..."
Polonius: DUDE. So I want you to go to Paris and slander my son.
Reynaldo: Slander your son?
Polonius: Yeah!
Reynaldo: ...Like... 'Dude, I was thinking about Laertes yesterday! How's he doing, man?'
Polonius: ...No, no. Like, 'Dude! I saw Laertes yesterday! He went into a brothel!'
Reynaldo: ZOMG DID HE?
Polonius: ...No, man.
Reynaldo: ...So then, why'm I saying that?
Polonius: So people will tell you how awesome he is, like he'd never go into a brothel.
Reynaldo: ...But... they're not gonna think that after I say he did.
Polonius: SHUT UP AND GO.
Reynaldo: OKAY! :)
Ophelia: ZOMG DADDY. ;_______________________;
Polonius: What what what?
Ophelia: Hamlet's crazy!
Polonius: Mannn, that was totally not coming. All right, let's go tell Claudius.
SCENE CHANGE.
CLaudius: ROS AND GUIL! DUDE! HI THERE, GIEZ!
Guildenstern: *has fur!* ... Hi there.
Rosencrantz: *is even cuter than Laertes* ... :)!
Claudius: Soooo, you guys. Go make my son not crazy.
Ros and Guil: We are totally on it!
Polonius: HI, CLAUDIUS! HAMLET IS CRAZY!
Claudius: ...No, you think?
Subplot: *POPS UP OUT OF NOWHERE*
Cornelius and Voltemand: Remember us?! :) :)
Audience: ...No.
C&V: Well, it's all good with Norway and Fortinbras. So we totally saved your collective asses. 'BYE NOW. -_______-
Polonius: Dude, whatever. Okay. So Hamlet is crazy.
Gertrude: ...Moving on.
Polonius: Speaking of moving, you should see the way that kid's madness moves on him, like a wolf grabbing a lamb by the throat, my friends--
Gertrude: DUDE. SHUT UP AND GET TO THE POINT.
Polonius: Okay, okay, fine. Here's bad love poetry he sent my baby girl.
Gertrude: ...This means he's crazy?
Polonius: Zomg, have you READ this stuff? It's crazy.
Gertrude: 'Doubt that the sun doth...' blah blah blah... Yeah, this stuff's pretty bad, but all it proves to me is that emo kids write bad poetry.
Polonius: HE LOVES MY DAUGHTER AND HE CAN'T HAVE HER AND HE'S CRAZY. >:(
Gertrude: ...Okay, fine. --Oh, hey, Hamlet!
Hamlet: ZOMG DON'T TOUCH. ;___________________;
Polonius: Hi, there, emo kid!
Hamlet: ;____________; Don't touch. *runs away*
Polonius: *STALKS*
Hamlet: ...You're a fishmonger. Go away. I'm reading. ;_____; --Dude, do you have a daughter?
Polonius: SEE?! SEE?! I TOTALLY TOLD YOU! BWAHAHAHAH I WIN! ...Plus he thought I was a fishmonger. The boy is CRAZY, yo. --What are you reading?
Hamlet: Stuff. Go away.
Polonius: What stuff?
Hamlet: STUFF ABOUT HOW PATHETIC YOU ARE. GO AWAY AND LEAVE ME TO MY EMO.
Polonius: ...Okay, man. 'Bye!
Hamlet: ABOUT TIME. *pulls dagger* LOOK HOW MISERABLE YOU MAKE ME! LOOK, IT'S SHARP!
Polonius: *runs*
Ros and Guil: HI! :) :)
Hamlet: *stops crying and bounces* Hiiiiiiiii, giez! I love you!
Ros: :) :)!!
Hamlet: *bawdy joke*
Ros: XD XD XD OH, MAN. YOU ARE SO FUNNY.
Guil: ... Shut up, Ros.
Hamlet: Denmark is a horrible scary prison!
Ros: ;_________; I didn't know that.
Hamlet: Yeah. Plus I have bad dreams.
Guil: Get over it, huh?
Hamlet: ...So, why did you guys come again?
Ros: We love you! :) :) :)
Hamlet: Yeah, right. Liars zomg. You came to make me not crazy!
Guil: No, we really didn't.
Hamlet: Say what?
Guil: Nobody could make you not crazy, man.
Ros: ...Aren't we supposed to, though?
Hamlet: Well, I'm crazy.
Guil: DUDE. NO. I DON'T BELIEVE IT. Um, yeah, that's totally obvious, dude.
Hamlet: MAN DELIGHTS NOT ME!
Ros: XD XD
Hamlet: ...Shut up.
Guil: So, there are players coming.
Hamlet: LOVE YOU GIEZ!
Ros: Hey, look! I'm taller than you, too! :)
Hamlet: ...I hate you so much. By the way, I'm only half-crazy. *wink wink*
Ros and Guil: ...Uh-huhhhhhhh.
Polonius: Guess what!
Hamlet: PLAYERS COME YAY! :)
Polonius: ...Man, I hate you.
Players: HI WE'RE SHINY. :D :D :D
Hamlet: Zomg they're so shiiiiiiiiiiiny! I love you I love you!
Player King: Aren't we? ;D
Hamlet: <333333333333333
Player King: So, anything you want?
Hamlet: HECUBA! I WANT THOSE TROJANS TO BOOGIE!
Player King: ...Oh, man, how you fail at this speech. Allow a master to show you how.
Polonius: ...I thought you did a good job! :D
Hamlet: Dude, shut up.
Player King: *totally pwns Hamlet at recitation*
Polonius: Dude, but he's boring.
Hamlet: ZOMG SHUT UP. ;______________________________;
Polonius: ...Mobled queen is good! :D
Hamlet: SHUT UP OR I KEEL JOO.
Player King: *continues to pwn*
Polonius: Dude, he's crying now. I hate this so much.
Hamlet: I hate YOU. ;__________; Go away and give them a nice place to stay until this evening.
Polonius: Whatever.
Hamlet: NICE PLACE. DIE, you stupid stupid person. Talk about caviar to the general.
Ros and Guil: ...'Bye now?
Hamlet: 'BYE! :)
Ros and Guil: *exuent*
Hamlet: HATE YOU ALL SO VERY VERY MUCH.
Reynaldo: Slander your son?
Polonius: Yeah!
Reynaldo: ...Like... 'Dude, I was thinking about Laertes yesterday! How's he doing, man?'
Polonius: ...No, no. Like, 'Dude! I saw Laertes yesterday! He went into a brothel!'
Reynaldo: ZOMG DID HE?
Polonius: ...No, man.
Reynaldo: ...So then, why'm I saying that?
Polonius: So people will tell you how awesome he is, like he'd never go into a brothel.
Reynaldo: ...But... they're not gonna think that after I say he did.
Polonius: SHUT UP AND GO.
Reynaldo: OKAY! :)
Ophelia: ZOMG DADDY. ;_______________________;
Polonius: What what what?
Ophelia: Hamlet's crazy!
Polonius: Mannn, that was totally not coming. All right, let's go tell Claudius.
SCENE CHANGE.
CLaudius: ROS AND GUIL! DUDE! HI THERE, GIEZ!
Guildenstern: *has fur!* ... Hi there.
Rosencrantz: *is even cuter than Laertes* ... :)!
Claudius: Soooo, you guys. Go make my son not crazy.
Ros and Guil: We are totally on it!
Polonius: HI, CLAUDIUS! HAMLET IS CRAZY!
Claudius: ...No, you think?
Subplot: *POPS UP OUT OF NOWHERE*
Cornelius and Voltemand: Remember us?! :) :)
Audience: ...No.
C&V: Well, it's all good with Norway and Fortinbras. So we totally saved your collective asses. 'BYE NOW. -_______-
Polonius: Dude, whatever. Okay. So Hamlet is crazy.
Gertrude: ...Moving on.
Polonius: Speaking of moving, you should see the way that kid's madness moves on him, like a wolf grabbing a lamb by the throat, my friends--
Gertrude: DUDE. SHUT UP AND GET TO THE POINT.
Polonius: Okay, okay, fine. Here's bad love poetry he sent my baby girl.
Gertrude: ...This means he's crazy?
Polonius: Zomg, have you READ this stuff? It's crazy.
Gertrude: 'Doubt that the sun doth...' blah blah blah... Yeah, this stuff's pretty bad, but all it proves to me is that emo kids write bad poetry.
Polonius: HE LOVES MY DAUGHTER AND HE CAN'T HAVE HER AND HE'S CRAZY. >:(
Gertrude: ...Okay, fine. --Oh, hey, Hamlet!
Hamlet: ZOMG DON'T TOUCH. ;___________________;
Polonius: Hi, there, emo kid!
Hamlet: ;____________; Don't touch. *runs away*
Polonius: *STALKS*
Hamlet: ...You're a fishmonger. Go away. I'm reading. ;_____; --Dude, do you have a daughter?
Polonius: SEE?! SEE?! I TOTALLY TOLD YOU! BWAHAHAHAH I WIN! ...Plus he thought I was a fishmonger. The boy is CRAZY, yo. --What are you reading?
Hamlet: Stuff. Go away.
Polonius: What stuff?
Hamlet: STUFF ABOUT HOW PATHETIC YOU ARE. GO AWAY AND LEAVE ME TO MY EMO.
Polonius: ...Okay, man. 'Bye!
Hamlet: ABOUT TIME. *pulls dagger* LOOK HOW MISERABLE YOU MAKE ME! LOOK, IT'S SHARP!
Polonius: *runs*
Ros and Guil: HI! :) :)
Hamlet: *stops crying and bounces* Hiiiiiiiii, giez! I love you!
Ros: :) :)!!
Hamlet: *bawdy joke*
Ros: XD XD XD OH, MAN. YOU ARE SO FUNNY.
Guil: ... Shut up, Ros.
Hamlet: Denmark is a horrible scary prison!
Ros: ;_________; I didn't know that.
Hamlet: Yeah. Plus I have bad dreams.
Guil: Get over it, huh?
Hamlet: ...So, why did you guys come again?
Ros: We love you! :) :) :)
Hamlet: Yeah, right. Liars zomg. You came to make me not crazy!
Guil: No, we really didn't.
Hamlet: Say what?
Guil: Nobody could make you not crazy, man.
Ros: ...Aren't we supposed to, though?
Hamlet: Well, I'm crazy.
Guil: DUDE. NO. I DON'T BELIEVE IT. Um, yeah, that's totally obvious, dude.
Hamlet: MAN DELIGHTS NOT ME!
Ros: XD XD
Hamlet: ...Shut up.
Guil: So, there are players coming.
Hamlet: LOVE YOU GIEZ!
Ros: Hey, look! I'm taller than you, too! :)
Hamlet: ...I hate you so much. By the way, I'm only half-crazy. *wink wink*
Ros and Guil: ...Uh-huhhhhhhh.
Polonius: Guess what!
Hamlet: PLAYERS COME YAY! :)
Polonius: ...Man, I hate you.
Players: HI WE'RE SHINY. :D :D :D
Hamlet: Zomg they're so shiiiiiiiiiiiny! I love you I love you!
Player King: Aren't we? ;D
Hamlet: <333333333333333
Player King: So, anything you want?
Hamlet: HECUBA! I WANT THOSE TROJANS TO BOOGIE!
Player King: ...Oh, man, how you fail at this speech. Allow a master to show you how.
Polonius: ...I thought you did a good job! :D
Hamlet: Dude, shut up.
Player King: *totally pwns Hamlet at recitation*
Polonius: Dude, but he's boring.
Hamlet: ZOMG SHUT UP. ;______________________________;
Polonius: ...Mobled queen is good! :D
Hamlet: SHUT UP OR I KEEL JOO.
Player King: *continues to pwn*
Polonius: Dude, he's crying now. I hate this so much.
Hamlet: I hate YOU. ;__________; Go away and give them a nice place to stay until this evening.
Polonius: Whatever.
Hamlet: NICE PLACE. DIE, you stupid stupid person. Talk about caviar to the general.
Ros and Guil: ...'Bye now?
Hamlet: 'BYE! :)
Ros and Guil: *exuent*
Hamlet: HATE YOU ALL SO VERY VERY MUCH.
"The King's Not Bad, the King's Not Mean..."
Claudius: ...Can't you tell why the kid is crazy?
Ros: Yeah!
Guil: No.
Ros: Oh. Um. No, not really.
Polonius: BUT I CAN FIX HIM.
Gertrude: Oh, God, not you again.
Polonius: I have this great idea! :) :)
Gertrude: -____________-
Claudius: Dude, that's a great idea!
Gertrude: Hi, Ophelia. I hope you survive this.
Ophelia: Um. Me too.
Hamlet: *SOLILOQUIZES IN TIGHTS* To be... or NOT TO BE.
Soujin: XD XD XD OH, MAN. You're CLAUDIUS, aren't you? Oh, that's beautiful.
Hamlet: -___________- I. hate. you.
Soujin: You know, you've totally been stripping over the course of this film. You started out fully dressed, and then started losing pieces of clothing, and now you're only in shirt, locket, and tights. And pathetic beard. It's pretty clear that Horatio is undressing you offstage, and you're soliloquizing here between makeout sessions.
Hamlet: I AM TOTALLY SOLILOQUIZING HERE. SHUT UP.
Soujin: Okay, okay, sheesh.
Hamlet: *strokes throat with itty-bitty pathetic dagger* Conscience makes cowards of us all... la... mann, I am so emo...
Ophelia: *littlewave* Hi there...! :)
Hamlet: OPHELIA! PRAY FOR ME!
Ophelia: ...How are you?
Hamlet: XD XD XD OH, MAN, I AM SO TOP OF IT ALL AND PWNING AND LAUGHING AND EVERYTHING IS GREAT, BABY, JUST GREAT.
Ophelia: *cries* Take back your mink, you cad.
Hamlet: What?
Ophelia: Take it back!
Hamlet: WTF, I gave you a green scarf and that's all? I knew I didn't really like you. Green is so not your colour.
Ophelia: Not yours either, you jerk! ;_____________;
Hamlet: Pls die.
Ophelia: I thought you loved me!
Hamlet: YEAH RIGHT.
Ophelia: ;_______________;
Hamlet: Nunnery, baby. Right now. I AM A BAD GUY. DO NOT LOVE ME.
Ophelia: I DON'T! I HATE YOU! ;______________________;
Hamlet: Where's your daddy, anyway?
Ophelia: NOT HERE.
Hamlet: YEAH RIGHT. YOU ARE AWFUL. YOUR DADDY SUCKS. I HATE YOU AND I DO NOT LOVE YOU. DIE. YOU ARE PATHETIC. ALSO YOU HAVE A STUPID HAT.
Ophelia: ;_____________________________________;
Hamlet: ALSO YOU HAVE BAD MAKEUP SKILLZ!
Ophelia: Leave me alone! ;___________;
Hamlet: *hugsquish* I'm sorry. I love you. Just don't get married, okay? Marriage is a problem for me. Okay, please go to a nunnery? Okay. 'Bye! ;____;
Ophelia: ...He is so crazy. And he left the ugly scarf, dammit!
Claudius: ...Okay, he does not love her, sorry.
Polonius: Baby, don't repeat it. We heard every word. Maybe you should lose the hat.
Ophelia: Daddy, he was right. You suck. ;__________________;
Polonius: Okay, after that play he wants to hold? Let's make him have a Oedipal closet scene with his Mum. That'll be good.
Claudius: Whatever.
SCENE CHANGE.
Players: *dress in drag*
Hamlet: *does the Player Queen's makeup*
Player Queen: Oh, baby, you're good at that. Want to see me after the show?
Hamlet: ...Hang on, dude, I've got a lecture to deliver. OKAY PLAYER GUYS. YOU ARE EXPERTS, BUT DO WHAT I TELL YOU, 'KAY?
Players: XD Yeah, whatever.
Hamlet: HORATIO!
Horatio: ... :) Hi...
Hamlet: *gets down on one knee and takes Horatio's hand* Excuse me, but I have something rilly rilly important to tell you.
Horatio: ...Are there rings involved?
Hamlet: ...Dude, what?
Horatio: ...Nothing. ;________;
Hamlet: So, keep an eye on Claudius, 'kay?
Horatio: ;________; 'kay.
Hamlet: HI CLAUDIUS AND MOM.
Claudius: ZOMG YOU'RE WEARING A SKULL. X_X
Soujin: XD XD XD
Hamlet: Isn't it scary? I win.
Gertrude: No, you don't, baby. But come sit with me.
Hamlet: Nah, Ophelia's cuter.
Ophelia: ;___________________________________;
Hamlet: *bounce bounce laugh*
Ophelia: *criez*
Hamlet: ... *criez too*
Dumbshow: *proceeds, failing to worry anybody*
Ophelia: What was the point of all that?
Hamlet: I REALLY COULDN'T SAY.
Play: *proceeds, freaking everybody out*
Hamlet: NOW THAT'S MORE LIKE IT.
Claudius: TURN THIS OFF.
Hamlet: :D :D :D :D
Claudius: I AM GOING TO HIT YOU WITH A LIGHTED TORCH.
Hamlet: XD XD THIS IS THE BEST DAY OF MY LIIIIIIIIIIFE.
Horatio: ...Mannn, you're nuts.
Ros: Could you please stop acting crazy?
Guil: STOP. ACTING. CRAZY.
Hamlet: YEAAAAAAAAAAAAAH RIGHT.
Guil: You're upsetting your Mum!
Hamlet: All RIGHT. XD
Ros: ... Don't you love me? ;___;
Hamlet: Oh, definitely, yeah.
Ros: Then please stop being crazy?
Hamlet: HELL NO. Okay, see this recorder thingy?
Guil: Um, yes.
Hamlet: Play it? :D
Guil: I don't know how. akjsakjakjd
Hamlet: THEN SHUT UP AND LEAVE ME ALONE.
Guil: ...Okay, FINE.
Polonius: You Mum wants you, Hamlet.
Hamlet: I'm COMING, MAN. SHUT UP.
Ros and Guil: *run away*
Hamlet: *emos*
SCENE CHANGE.
Claudius: Oh, how I hate that kid. I'm sending him to England, 'kay?
Guil: Um, yes, that sounds like a good idea.
Claudius: ...
Ros: Yeah, I think so too! :) :)
Claudius: 'Bye, then.
Polonius: I'm going to go upstairs and die now!
Claudius: Catch you 'round. -- Okay, I hate my life. I hate the kid, I hate myself. This all sucks very much.
Hamlet: Ohhh, I could kill him now! My pathetic dagger even just became a rilly big sword! Oooooh!
Claudius: *prays*
Hamlet: ...aw, MAN. Okay, maybe later, then.
Claudius: Wow, that didn't work. I couldn't even pray.
SCENE CHANGE.
Polonius: So, I'm going to hide in your room. :D
Gertrude: I. HATE. YOU.
Hamlet: MUUUUUUUUUM!
Gertrude: Hide, stupid person.
Polonius: *hides!*
Hamlet: Mummmmmmmm. *whines*
Gertrude: You're a brat, Hamlet. I smack you.
Hamlet: I HAVE A SWORD. ;______________; DON'T SMACK ME.
Polonius: OHSHIT.
Hamlet: DUDE. STAB STAB STAB.
Gertrude: ...ohhhhhhhh, this is bad.
Hamlet: Yeah, it really is. I meant to kill Claudius.
Gertrude: I AM SO NOT HAPPY WITH YOU.
Hamlet: Well, ME EITHER. SIT DOWN AND LET ME SHOUT AT YOU. LOOK. Daddy was gorgeous and fabulous. Claudius sucks. YOU SUCK. WHY DID YOU MARRY HIM? I HATE YOU. YOU'RE TOO OLD TO BE IN LOVE. YOU DID IT PURELY TO SPITE ME. YOU HOR. ;_____________________;
Gertrude: I hate you I hate you I hate you.
Hamlet: I HATE YOU. ;_____________________________; Let me straddle you on the bed and shout at you!
Gertrude: GET OFF ME. >:( HAMLET, THIS IS NOT COOL.
Hamlet: You SUUUUUUUCK.
Glowing Green Radioactive Dad!Hamlet: KID. GET OFF YOUR MUM.
Hamlet: O_O ohman. I'M RILLY RILLY SORRY!
Gertrude: Good God.
GGRD!H: I told you to KILL CLAUDIUS, not give Freud a FIELD DAY.
Hamlet: ;________________________; I didn't mean to.
GGRD!H: GO STAND IN THE CORNER.
Hamlet: I'M SORRY!
Gertrude: ...Dude, you're talking to yourself. Are you crazy? -- Oh, wait. XD
GGRD!H: STOP BEING STUPID. KTHNXBAI.
Hamlet: Ahhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh.
Gertrude: You are SO CRAZY.
Hamlet: ... ... ...
Gertrude: So crazy.
Hamlet: I AM NOT!
Gertrude: ...
Hamlet: Okay, so don't tell anyone I'm not crazy. Promise?
Gertrude: ...Um, right. I promise. 'Bye now.
Hamlet: 'Bye! Oh, wait, dead guy on the floor. I'll carry him off, okay?
Gertrude: YES. OKAY. 'BYE.
Hamlet: Oh, wait, something else!
Gertrude: ...Yeah?
Hamlet: Don't, don't, don't yet Claudius seduce you and make you tell him I'm not crazy? Okay? Swear?
Gertrude: ...I swear, baby. Now GET OUT OF MY ROOM.
Hamlet: 'BYE! :D :D :D
Claudius: I am not liking this.
Gertrude: ME NEITHER HELLO.
Claudius: I'm sending the kid to England.
Gertrude: Thank you. It's about time. Do you have any idea how crazy he is?
Claudius: ...Hard to miss it, really.
Gertrude: Also, he killed Polonius.
Claudius: Oh, gross. Okay, yeah. England.
SCENE CHANGE.
Ros: Yeah!
Guil: No.
Ros: Oh. Um. No, not really.
Polonius: BUT I CAN FIX HIM.
Gertrude: Oh, God, not you again.
Polonius: I have this great idea! :) :)
Gertrude: -____________-
Claudius: Dude, that's a great idea!
Gertrude: Hi, Ophelia. I hope you survive this.
Ophelia: Um. Me too.
Hamlet: *SOLILOQUIZES IN TIGHTS* To be... or NOT TO BE.
Soujin: XD XD XD OH, MAN. You're CLAUDIUS, aren't you? Oh, that's beautiful.
Hamlet: -___________- I. hate. you.
Soujin: You know, you've totally been stripping over the course of this film. You started out fully dressed, and then started losing pieces of clothing, and now you're only in shirt, locket, and tights. And pathetic beard. It's pretty clear that Horatio is undressing you offstage, and you're soliloquizing here between makeout sessions.
Hamlet: I AM TOTALLY SOLILOQUIZING HERE. SHUT UP.
Soujin: Okay, okay, sheesh.
Hamlet: *strokes throat with itty-bitty pathetic dagger* Conscience makes cowards of us all... la... mann, I am so emo...
Ophelia: *littlewave* Hi there...! :)
Hamlet: OPHELIA! PRAY FOR ME!
Ophelia: ...How are you?
Hamlet: XD XD XD OH, MAN, I AM SO TOP OF IT ALL AND PWNING AND LAUGHING AND EVERYTHING IS GREAT, BABY, JUST GREAT.
Ophelia: *cries* Take back your mink, you cad.
Hamlet: What?
Ophelia: Take it back!
Hamlet: WTF, I gave you a green scarf and that's all? I knew I didn't really like you. Green is so not your colour.
Ophelia: Not yours either, you jerk! ;_____________;
Hamlet: Pls die.
Ophelia: I thought you loved me!
Hamlet: YEAH RIGHT.
Ophelia: ;_______________;
Hamlet: Nunnery, baby. Right now. I AM A BAD GUY. DO NOT LOVE ME.
Ophelia: I DON'T! I HATE YOU! ;______________________;
Hamlet: Where's your daddy, anyway?
Ophelia: NOT HERE.
Hamlet: YEAH RIGHT. YOU ARE AWFUL. YOUR DADDY SUCKS. I HATE YOU AND I DO NOT LOVE YOU. DIE. YOU ARE PATHETIC. ALSO YOU HAVE A STUPID HAT.
Ophelia: ;_____________________________________;
Hamlet: ALSO YOU HAVE BAD MAKEUP SKILLZ!
Ophelia: Leave me alone! ;___________;
Hamlet: *hugsquish* I'm sorry. I love you. Just don't get married, okay? Marriage is a problem for me. Okay, please go to a nunnery? Okay. 'Bye! ;____;
Ophelia: ...He is so crazy. And he left the ugly scarf, dammit!
Claudius: ...Okay, he does not love her, sorry.
Polonius: Baby, don't repeat it. We heard every word. Maybe you should lose the hat.
Ophelia: Daddy, he was right. You suck. ;__________________;
Polonius: Okay, after that play he wants to hold? Let's make him have a Oedipal closet scene with his Mum. That'll be good.
Claudius: Whatever.
SCENE CHANGE.
Players: *dress in drag*
Hamlet: *does the Player Queen's makeup*
Player Queen: Oh, baby, you're good at that. Want to see me after the show?
Hamlet: ...Hang on, dude, I've got a lecture to deliver. OKAY PLAYER GUYS. YOU ARE EXPERTS, BUT DO WHAT I TELL YOU, 'KAY?
Players: XD Yeah, whatever.
Hamlet: HORATIO!
Horatio: ... :) Hi...
Hamlet: *gets down on one knee and takes Horatio's hand* Excuse me, but I have something rilly rilly important to tell you.
Horatio: ...Are there rings involved?
Hamlet: ...Dude, what?
Horatio: ...Nothing. ;________;
Hamlet: So, keep an eye on Claudius, 'kay?
Horatio: ;________; 'kay.
Hamlet: HI CLAUDIUS AND MOM.
Claudius: ZOMG YOU'RE WEARING A SKULL. X_X
Soujin: XD XD XD
Hamlet: Isn't it scary? I win.
Gertrude: No, you don't, baby. But come sit with me.
Hamlet: Nah, Ophelia's cuter.
Ophelia: ;___________________________________;
Hamlet: *bounce bounce laugh*
Ophelia: *criez*
Hamlet: ... *criez too*
Dumbshow: *proceeds, failing to worry anybody*
Ophelia: What was the point of all that?
Hamlet: I REALLY COULDN'T SAY.
Play: *proceeds, freaking everybody out*
Hamlet: NOW THAT'S MORE LIKE IT.
Claudius: TURN THIS OFF.
Hamlet: :D :D :D :D
Claudius: I AM GOING TO HIT YOU WITH A LIGHTED TORCH.
Hamlet: XD XD THIS IS THE BEST DAY OF MY LIIIIIIIIIIFE.
Horatio: ...Mannn, you're nuts.
Ros: Could you please stop acting crazy?
Guil: STOP. ACTING. CRAZY.
Hamlet: YEAAAAAAAAAAAAAH RIGHT.
Guil: You're upsetting your Mum!
Hamlet: All RIGHT. XD
Ros: ... Don't you love me? ;___;
Hamlet: Oh, definitely, yeah.
Ros: Then please stop being crazy?
Hamlet: HELL NO. Okay, see this recorder thingy?
Guil: Um, yes.
Hamlet: Play it? :D
Guil: I don't know how. akjsakjakjd
Hamlet: THEN SHUT UP AND LEAVE ME ALONE.
Guil: ...Okay, FINE.
Polonius: You Mum wants you, Hamlet.
Hamlet: I'm COMING, MAN. SHUT UP.
Ros and Guil: *run away*
Hamlet: *emos*
SCENE CHANGE.
Claudius: Oh, how I hate that kid. I'm sending him to England, 'kay?
Guil: Um, yes, that sounds like a good idea.
Claudius: ...
Ros: Yeah, I think so too! :) :)
Claudius: 'Bye, then.
Polonius: I'm going to go upstairs and die now!
Claudius: Catch you 'round. -- Okay, I hate my life. I hate the kid, I hate myself. This all sucks very much.
Hamlet: Ohhh, I could kill him now! My pathetic dagger even just became a rilly big sword! Oooooh!
Claudius: *prays*
Hamlet: ...aw, MAN. Okay, maybe later, then.
Claudius: Wow, that didn't work. I couldn't even pray.
SCENE CHANGE.
Polonius: So, I'm going to hide in your room. :D
Gertrude: I. HATE. YOU.
Hamlet: MUUUUUUUUUM!
Gertrude: Hide, stupid person.
Polonius: *hides!*
Hamlet: Mummmmmmmm. *whines*
Gertrude: You're a brat, Hamlet. I smack you.
Hamlet: I HAVE A SWORD. ;______________; DON'T SMACK ME.
Polonius: OHSHIT.
Hamlet: DUDE. STAB STAB STAB.
Gertrude: ...ohhhhhhhh, this is bad.
Hamlet: Yeah, it really is. I meant to kill Claudius.
Gertrude: I AM SO NOT HAPPY WITH YOU.
Hamlet: Well, ME EITHER. SIT DOWN AND LET ME SHOUT AT YOU. LOOK. Daddy was gorgeous and fabulous. Claudius sucks. YOU SUCK. WHY DID YOU MARRY HIM? I HATE YOU. YOU'RE TOO OLD TO BE IN LOVE. YOU DID IT PURELY TO SPITE ME. YOU HOR. ;_____________________;
Gertrude: I hate you I hate you I hate you.
Hamlet: I HATE YOU. ;_____________________________; Let me straddle you on the bed and shout at you!
Gertrude: GET OFF ME. >:( HAMLET, THIS IS NOT COOL.
Hamlet: You SUUUUUUUCK.
Glowing Green Radioactive Dad!Hamlet: KID. GET OFF YOUR MUM.
Hamlet: O_O ohman. I'M RILLY RILLY SORRY!
Gertrude: Good God.
GGRD!H: I told you to KILL CLAUDIUS, not give Freud a FIELD DAY.
Hamlet: ;________________________; I didn't mean to.
GGRD!H: GO STAND IN THE CORNER.
Hamlet: I'M SORRY!
Gertrude: ...Dude, you're talking to yourself. Are you crazy? -- Oh, wait. XD
GGRD!H: STOP BEING STUPID. KTHNXBAI.
Hamlet: Ahhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh.
Gertrude: You are SO CRAZY.
Hamlet: ... ... ...
Gertrude: So crazy.
Hamlet: I AM NOT!
Gertrude: ...
Hamlet: Okay, so don't tell anyone I'm not crazy. Promise?
Gertrude: ...Um, right. I promise. 'Bye now.
Hamlet: 'Bye! Oh, wait, dead guy on the floor. I'll carry him off, okay?
Gertrude: YES. OKAY. 'BYE.
Hamlet: Oh, wait, something else!
Gertrude: ...Yeah?
Hamlet: Don't, don't, don't yet Claudius seduce you and make you tell him I'm not crazy? Okay? Swear?
Gertrude: ...I swear, baby. Now GET OUT OF MY ROOM.
Hamlet: 'BYE! :D :D :D
Claudius: I am not liking this.
Gertrude: ME NEITHER HELLO.
Claudius: I'm sending the kid to England.
Gertrude: Thank you. It's about time. Do you have any idea how crazy he is?
Claudius: ...Hard to miss it, really.
Gertrude: Also, he killed Polonius.
Claudius: Oh, gross. Okay, yeah. England.
SCENE CHANGE.
"In Russet Mantle Clad..."
Ros and Guil: So. Um. Where's Polonius?
Hamlet: ...Not here. SPONGE YO.
Ros: ;_______________; I'm a sponge?
Hamlet: Oh, my, yes.
Ros: ;__________________;
Hamlet: HA HA! CATCH ME IF YOU CAANNNNN!
Guil: Mannnnn. Not again. I hate this guy.
SCENE CHANGE.
Claudius: So, everybody? We're sending the crazy kid to England.
Danish Court, collectively: ALL RIGHT!
Guil: ...We caught the stupid kid.
Claudius: Rock. :D Bring him in.
Hamlet: Hiiiiiiiii!
Claudius: Okay, so where's Polonius?
Hamlet: *ramble ramble grin grin* Not here.
Claudius: I am very much hating you right now. WHERE IS POLONIUS?
Hamlet: Heaven, I think.
Claudius: Oh, yes?
Hamlet: Well, if he's not, you can find him by shooting yourself in the head.
Claudius: You. are. a. little. weirdo.
Hamlet: He's under the stairs.
Claudius: Thank you.
Hamlet: Sure.
Claudius: By the way, you're going to England.
Hamlet: ...I am?
Claudius: Yes, ohhhhh, yes. BABY BABY YEAH! ENGLAND HAS TO DEAL WITH YOU NOW!
Hamlet: 'Bye, Mum.
Claudius: ...Plz get out of here.
Hamlet: :D *bounces out*
Claudius: England, if you do not kill the crazy emo kid, I swear I will laugh when he invades your country and you make him a God WHO HAS MY NAME.
SCENE CHANGE.
Fortinbras: I am teh cool.
Captain: Oh, yes you are.
Fortinbras: Look at my shiny crown and my armour. Does Hamlet have? No he does not.
Captain: <33333
Hamlet: Who is that guy?
Captain: Fortinbras, He Who is Shinier Than Thou.
Hamlet: Awww, mannnn.
Ros: Can we go, please? It's cold.
Hamlet: I need a soliloquy first.
Guil: ...Well, we're going on without you. Catch up later.
Hamlet: Okay! :D *soloquies. with much emo* Everything sucks. Me too. Okay, I'm ready to go!
Guil: ABOUT TIME.
SCENE CHANGE.
Gertrude: I DO NOT NEED ANY MORE ANGST KTHNX.
Horatio: But she's crazy. And ugly. And has a stupid hat, and looks bad in green. She needs some sympathy from somebody!
Gertrude: Okay, FINE. ;________; I hate everything.
Ophelia: LOOK, I GOT NEW CLOTHES! AND THEY'RE NOT GREEN! AND I'M NOT WEARING MY STUPID HAT ANY MORE!
Horatio: Look. ;____; Craziness actually made her more attractive.
Ophelia: But one thing isn't more attractive, and that's my voice! I can't sing!
Gertrude: >_< Ow, you can't.
Claudius: Oh, man, is she crazy too?
Gertrude: YOU JUST NOTICED?
Ophelia: I LOVE YOU!
Claudius: I'M MARRIED! GET OFF GET OFF GET OFF!
Ophelia: ;_____________;
Gertrude: This is very bad.
Ophelia: MY BROTHER WILL KILL YOU ALL.
Claudius: ...What's the likelihood of that happening, please?
Gertrude: Um....
Laertes: I WILL KILL YOU ALL! >:(
Claudius: ...Great.
Gertrude: This sucks. Laertes, do not kill my husband kthnx.
Laertes: OH YOU WISH. I AM GOING TO MAKE HIM VERY DED LIEK NOW.
Gertrude: No, please.
Claudius: Oh, come on. Laertes, you are much with the pathetic. Why do you want to kill me?
Laertes: YOU KILLED MY FATHER. PREPARE TO DIE.
Claudius: Baby, baby, calm down. SOME OTHER DUDE KILLED YOUR FATHER.
Laertes: ...Excuse me?
Ophelia: Ohhh, I have pretty flowers! Pretty pretty flowers!
Laertes: ...
Ophelia: *criez*
Laertes: 'Phelia?
Ophelia: DON'T TOUCH ME ZOMG. ;____________;
Laertes: Okay, I feel like this has happened before... Why are the crazy people so angry in this film? Baby, sister, please, don't smack me.
Ophelia: Okay. Have a flower. ;______________;
Laertes: This is all SO BAD.
Ophelia: LOOK! I HAVE ALL THE RIGHT FLOWERS FOR WHAT I'M SAYING! LOOK AT MY FENNEL! LOOK AT MY DAISIES!
Laertes: Watch me shake. Watch my manly grief plz.
Ophelia: I HATE YOU. 'BYE.
Laertes: I AM SO MANLY AND LOOK HOW I'M TURNING RED I HAVE NO WORDS FOR MY GREAT SORROW.
Claudius: Baby, would you like to kill the dude who did all this?
Laertes: Oh, YES, PLEASE.
Claudius: Okay. It's Hamlet. But he's in England getting killed. Nevertheless, you can still kill him.
Laertes: ...I can.
Claudius: Yep!
SCENE CHANGE.
Horatio: *is hanging out inna fancy gaming hall*
Thugs: *sidle in* Hey. Psst. Are you Horatio?
Horatio: ...Um, yes.
Thugs: We have sekrit letters for you. PAY US FIRST.
Horatio: O_O WTF IS THIS?
Thugs: :D
Horatio: *pays* ZOMG. ZOMG. LETTERS FROM MY BOYFRIEND LOST AT SEA. ...I mean. Um. I mean. Wow! Letters from Prince Hamlet! O:D
Thugs: ...
Horatio: ...So you can take me to him?
Thugs: You coming?
Horatio: ZOMG.
SCENE CHANGE.
Claudius: So, anyway, he's not coming back from England, but if he does, you can kill him.
Laertes: Awwwww, mann, that's not good enough.
Claudius: I LOVED YOUR FATHER. TEN-THOUSAND SONS COULD NOT WITH ALL THEIR QUANTITY OF LOVE--
Laertes: YOU SUCK.
Thugs: Look! Letters from Hamlet!
Laertes: *victory dance* All RIGHT. NOW WILL THERE BE MAJOR HAMLET-KILLING IN THE STATE OF DENMARK.
Claudius: Will you kill Hamlet for me?
Laertes: ...Dude, aren't you listening? That would be a OH, YES, PLEASE.
Claudius: Great. Now, we'll rig this fencing match, and have this poisoned wine...
Laertes: ...Why can't I just jump him in a dark alley?
Claudius: ...It would look like I did it.
Laertes: ...And him dropping dead after fencing me wouldn't?
Claudius: Whatever.
Laertes: Okay, then. I have this awesome poison.
Claudius: All right! This is great!
Laertes: :D I know.
Gertrude: ...Are you plotting to kill my crazy emo kid?
Claudius: O:D Of course not!
Gertrude: Oh, okay. Well, then. Ophelia's dead.
Laertes: WTF WTF WTF?
Gertrude: ...Yeah, sorry about that. She kinda fell into the stream and died.
Laertes: WTF WTF WTF!!!
Gertrude: ...But you're not plotting to kill my kid, right?
Laertes: OH, NO. OF COURSE NOT. >:(
Gertrude: Okay, just making sure.
Laertes: *SCREAMS AND HIT WALLS AND ROARS WITH VERY MANLY GRIEF*
Claudius: ...I wouldn't worry, honey. It's nothing serious.
Gertrude: ...
SCENE CHANGE.
Hamlet: ...Not here. SPONGE YO.
Ros: ;_______________; I'm a sponge?
Hamlet: Oh, my, yes.
Ros: ;__________________;
Hamlet: HA HA! CATCH ME IF YOU CAANNNNN!
Guil: Mannnnn. Not again. I hate this guy.
SCENE CHANGE.
Claudius: So, everybody? We're sending the crazy kid to England.
Danish Court, collectively: ALL RIGHT!
Guil: ...We caught the stupid kid.
Claudius: Rock. :D Bring him in.
Hamlet: Hiiiiiiiii!
Claudius: Okay, so where's Polonius?
Hamlet: *ramble ramble grin grin* Not here.
Claudius: I am very much hating you right now. WHERE IS POLONIUS?
Hamlet: Heaven, I think.
Claudius: Oh, yes?
Hamlet: Well, if he's not, you can find him by shooting yourself in the head.
Claudius: You. are. a. little. weirdo.
Hamlet: He's under the stairs.
Claudius: Thank you.
Hamlet: Sure.
Claudius: By the way, you're going to England.
Hamlet: ...I am?
Claudius: Yes, ohhhhh, yes. BABY BABY YEAH! ENGLAND HAS TO DEAL WITH YOU NOW!
Hamlet: 'Bye, Mum.
Claudius: ...Plz get out of here.
Hamlet: :D *bounces out*
Claudius: England, if you do not kill the crazy emo kid, I swear I will laugh when he invades your country and you make him a God WHO HAS MY NAME.
SCENE CHANGE.
Fortinbras: I am teh cool.
Captain: Oh, yes you are.
Fortinbras: Look at my shiny crown and my armour. Does Hamlet have? No he does not.
Captain: <33333
Hamlet: Who is that guy?
Captain: Fortinbras, He Who is Shinier Than Thou.
Hamlet: Awww, mannnn.
Ros: Can we go, please? It's cold.
Hamlet: I need a soliloquy first.
Guil: ...Well, we're going on without you. Catch up later.
Hamlet: Okay! :D *soloquies. with much emo* Everything sucks. Me too. Okay, I'm ready to go!
Guil: ABOUT TIME.
SCENE CHANGE.
Gertrude: I DO NOT NEED ANY MORE ANGST KTHNX.
Horatio: But she's crazy. And ugly. And has a stupid hat, and looks bad in green. She needs some sympathy from somebody!
Gertrude: Okay, FINE. ;________; I hate everything.
Ophelia: LOOK, I GOT NEW CLOTHES! AND THEY'RE NOT GREEN! AND I'M NOT WEARING MY STUPID HAT ANY MORE!
Horatio: Look. ;____; Craziness actually made her more attractive.
Ophelia: But one thing isn't more attractive, and that's my voice! I can't sing!
Gertrude: >_< Ow, you can't.
Claudius: Oh, man, is she crazy too?
Gertrude: YOU JUST NOTICED?
Ophelia: I LOVE YOU!
Claudius: I'M MARRIED! GET OFF GET OFF GET OFF!
Ophelia: ;_____________;
Gertrude: This is very bad.
Ophelia: MY BROTHER WILL KILL YOU ALL.
Claudius: ...What's the likelihood of that happening, please?
Gertrude: Um....
Laertes: I WILL KILL YOU ALL! >:(
Claudius: ...Great.
Gertrude: This sucks. Laertes, do not kill my husband kthnx.
Laertes: OH YOU WISH. I AM GOING TO MAKE HIM VERY DED LIEK NOW.
Gertrude: No, please.
Claudius: Oh, come on. Laertes, you are much with the pathetic. Why do you want to kill me?
Laertes: YOU KILLED MY FATHER. PREPARE TO DIE.
Claudius: Baby, baby, calm down. SOME OTHER DUDE KILLED YOUR FATHER.
Laertes: ...Excuse me?
Ophelia: Ohhh, I have pretty flowers! Pretty pretty flowers!
Laertes: ...
Ophelia: *criez*
Laertes: 'Phelia?
Ophelia: DON'T TOUCH ME ZOMG. ;____________;
Laertes: Okay, I feel like this has happened before... Why are the crazy people so angry in this film? Baby, sister, please, don't smack me.
Ophelia: Okay. Have a flower. ;______________;
Laertes: This is all SO BAD.
Ophelia: LOOK! I HAVE ALL THE RIGHT FLOWERS FOR WHAT I'M SAYING! LOOK AT MY FENNEL! LOOK AT MY DAISIES!
Laertes: Watch me shake. Watch my manly grief plz.
Ophelia: I HATE YOU. 'BYE.
Laertes: I AM SO MANLY AND LOOK HOW I'M TURNING RED I HAVE NO WORDS FOR MY GREAT SORROW.
Claudius: Baby, would you like to kill the dude who did all this?
Laertes: Oh, YES, PLEASE.
Claudius: Okay. It's Hamlet. But he's in England getting killed. Nevertheless, you can still kill him.
Laertes: ...I can.
Claudius: Yep!
SCENE CHANGE.
Horatio: *is hanging out inna fancy gaming hall*
Thugs: *sidle in* Hey. Psst. Are you Horatio?
Horatio: ...Um, yes.
Thugs: We have sekrit letters for you. PAY US FIRST.
Horatio: O_O WTF IS THIS?
Thugs: :D
Horatio: *pays* ZOMG. ZOMG. LETTERS FROM MY BOYFRIEND LOST AT SEA. ...I mean. Um. I mean. Wow! Letters from Prince Hamlet! O:D
Thugs: ...
Horatio: ...So you can take me to him?
Thugs: You coming?
Horatio: ZOMG.
SCENE CHANGE.
Claudius: So, anyway, he's not coming back from England, but if he does, you can kill him.
Laertes: Awwwww, mann, that's not good enough.
Claudius: I LOVED YOUR FATHER. TEN-THOUSAND SONS COULD NOT WITH ALL THEIR QUANTITY OF LOVE--
Laertes: YOU SUCK.
Thugs: Look! Letters from Hamlet!
Laertes: *victory dance* All RIGHT. NOW WILL THERE BE MAJOR HAMLET-KILLING IN THE STATE OF DENMARK.
Claudius: Will you kill Hamlet for me?
Laertes: ...Dude, aren't you listening? That would be a OH, YES, PLEASE.
Claudius: Great. Now, we'll rig this fencing match, and have this poisoned wine...
Laertes: ...Why can't I just jump him in a dark alley?
Claudius: ...It would look like I did it.
Laertes: ...And him dropping dead after fencing me wouldn't?
Claudius: Whatever.
Laertes: Okay, then. I have this awesome poison.
Claudius: All right! This is great!
Laertes: :D I know.
Gertrude: ...Are you plotting to kill my crazy emo kid?
Claudius: O:D Of course not!
Gertrude: Oh, okay. Well, then. Ophelia's dead.
Laertes: WTF WTF WTF?
Gertrude: ...Yeah, sorry about that. She kinda fell into the stream and died.
Laertes: WTF WTF WTF!!!
Gertrude: ...But you're not plotting to kill my kid, right?
Laertes: OH, NO. OF COURSE NOT. >:(
Gertrude: Okay, just making sure.
Laertes: *SCREAMS AND HIT WALLS AND ROARS WITH VERY MANLY GRIEF*
Claudius: ...I wouldn't worry, honey. It's nothing serious.
Gertrude: ...
SCENE CHANGE.
"Seeming, You Say it is? I Know Not Seems..."
Gravediggers: *are so clever, aren't they?*
Hamlet: Look! I got clothes again!
Horatio: Aww, mannn.
Gravedigger: I have such a melodious voice, la la la!
Hamlet: ...Hey, look, skull!
Gravedigger: I beg you want to talk to it, huh?
Horatio: *unncessary touching zomg*
Hamlet: ...Oooh, shiny skull. :) :) I think I know it!
Horatio: ...You know it?
Hamlet: Yeah! :) Some of my best friends are skulls, you know.
Gravedigger: *loud*
Hamlet: ...So, whose grave?
Gravedigger: Oh, nobody's. I'm so clever!
Hamlet: Oh, man, shut up. It's only clever when I do it. When you do it, it is TEDIOUS, MAN.
Gravedigger: If I were as tedious as a King, I could find it in my heart to--
Hamlet: SHUT UP.
Gravedigger: So, you heard about Hamlet? He's crazy.
Hamlet: I AM NOT.
Horatio: *coughs*
Hamlet: ...Why do you think I--I mean he, he, why do you think he's mad?
Gravedigger: ...Because it's totally obvious? Here, here's a nice skull. I'll wash it off before you handle it.
Hamlet: ...Ewwww.
Gravedigger: Recognise him?
Hamlet: Dude, I already said I did! It's Yorick! :) I liked Yorick.
Gravedigger: *kisses Yorick*
Hamlet: Gross, man. ;______; Only I get to kiss skulls.
Horatio: ...kiss me too?
Hamlet: Look at Yorick, Horatio! He used to be so awesome! Now he's a wet skull! Life sucks.
Horatio: >:( I NOTICED.
Hamlet: Does everybody's life suck as much as mine?
Horatio: YES.
Hamlet: ZOMG! THEY'RE GOING TO BURY SOMEBODY HERE!
Horatio: ...Yes. That would be the reason for the grave.
Hamlet: Dude. Who is it? I can't see-- Oh, DUDE. IT'S MY GIRLFRIEND.
Horatio: ...LIFE RILLY SUCKS.
Laertes: Hello, this is not the full church ceremony.
Priest: Well, dude, she committed suicide.
Laertes: DO YOU WANT MY MANLY RED-FACED GRIEF TO EAT YOU? BECAUSE IT WILL.
Priest: Sanctuary!
Gertrude: 'Bye, Ophelia. I'm rilly sorry about all this.
Laertes: I HATE EVERYTHING.
Hamlet: OH, MAN. I HATE EVERYTHING MORE THAN YOU DO. STEP DOWN, BITCH. I LOVE YOUR SISTER. FORTY-THOUSAND BROTHERS COULD NOT WITH ALL THEIR QUANTITY OF LOVE--
Laertes: ...I. will. KILL YOU.
Hamlet: I'LL KILL YOU MORE.
Horatio: ;______________; I hate my life.
Gertrude: HELLO. ISN'T SOMEBODY GOING TO TELL THEM TO STOP FIGHTING AT THE FUNERAL?
Laertes: ...All this shouting makes me faint. *swoon*
Hamlet: Geez, man, cool it. Catch you 'round, now that I've totally pwned you.
Laertes: ...
Claudius: So, you want to kill him?
Laertes: ZOMG.
SCENE CHANGE.
Hamlet: So, Horatio. Want to hear how awesome and smart I was? And how much I win at escaping death? And what happened to Ros and Guil?
Horatio: :) :) :) Yes yes!
Hamlet: So Claudius was going to kill me. Blah blah blah. He thinks I'm crazy. XD Can you believe it?
Horatio: ...
Hamlet: Anywayz, I switched letters, and Ros and Guil went to die instead.
Horatio: Oh, wow. You're so smart and brave and you win and--ohhhh, my God. ;_______________; Rosencrantz!
Hamlet: Excuse me?
Horatio: ;_______________; YOU KILLED HIM! I MEAN THEM! ZOMG!
Hamlet: HELLO, ARE YOU NOT SUPPOSED TO BE ON MY SIDE?
Horatio: ...
Hamlet: And now I'm gonna kill Claudius! But not Laertes. Laertes is a good guy.
Horatio: ...
Osric: *has a rilly rilly big fancy hat!* :D :D :D HI THERE!
Hamlet: ...Wear your stupid hat.
Osric: ...But it has a rilly rilly big feather. :) :) ... ?
Hamlet: WEAR IT.
Osric: ...Okay. :(
Hamlet: So, why are you here to annoy me?
Osric: BIG SHINY DUEL! :D You and Laertes! Laertes rocks! So you should duel him!
Hamlet: Um, okay.
Horatio: ...Could you please go away? I want my UST time private.
Osric: SHINY SHINY! :D A smart guy like you, Hamlet, should do shiny with Laertes!
Hamlet: XD Haha, dude, that sounds dirty.
Osric: ... I think I hate you.
Hamlet: XD XD XD
Osric: So, anyway, Laertes is going to pwn you.
Hamlet: ... OKAY, HE'S GOING DOWN.
Osric: :D I'll go tell them.
Hamlet: ...Huh.
Horatio: HI IS THIS NOT TOTALLY OBVIOUS A BAD IDEA?
Hamlet: Man, it's gonna be fun! :)
Horatio: ...
Hamlet: Rilly fun! I can't wait!
Horatio: ... ;__________________;
SCENE CHANGE.
Claudius: So, you guys friends?
Hamlet: Oh, totally! :)
Laertes: ... >:(
Hamlet: :) :)
Laertes: Okay, shut up and get your sword.
Hamlet: Notice, by the way, how not-crazy I am.
Danish Court, collectively: *facepalm/headwall/covert sporfles*
Hamlet: Great! Let's fight! :D
Laertes: I rilly don't like you.
Hamlet: That's why this will be so much fun!
Laertes: ...
Claudius: See this wine? I'm drinking it! It's totally not poisoned! Now I will stick this pearl in it! This pearl is totally not poison!
Osric: Okay, FIGHT GIEZ!
Hamlet: *totally cheats*
Laertes: ...I hate you so much.
Horatio: ...Why is the not-poison wine next to me? Is there some implication here?
Hamlet: *TOTALLY CHEATS AGAIN*
Laertes: *FOOTSTABBITY*
Hamlet: *hops out of the way*
Laertes: I. HATE. YOU.
Hamlet: *pokepoke!*
Osric: Oops, two-love. :D
Laertes: SO MUCH HATE.
Gertrude: I think I'll drink some not-poison wine!
Claudius: ...Oh, great.
Hamlet: All right, let's duel again!
Laertes: TOTALLY ON IT.
Hamlet: *cheat cheat cheat*
Laertes: *stabs*
Hamlet: ZOMG YOU CHEATED!!!!!!!!!! NOW I KEEL JOO!!!!11!eleven!!!
Scuffle: *ensues*
Laertes: *majorly bleeding everywhere*
Osric: --Oh, man, that wasn't supposed to happen!
Gertrude: DUDE! THE NOT-POISON WINE WAS POISONED! *DIEZ*
Hamlet: THIS IS CRAZY!
Laertes: ...You just noticed... Dude, you're going to die. The sword was not-poison, too.
Hamlet: ...Oh, I am rilly very screwed.
Laertes: IT'S CLAUDIUS' FAULT! *DIEZ*
Horatio: ...This is rilly bad, isn't it?
Hamlet: *STABS CLAUDIUS ZOMG AND POURS NOT-POISON WINE DOWN HIS THROAT*
Claudius: *DIEZ*
Hamlet: ...Okay. Okay. Stay calm.
Horatio: ;___________; HAMLET!
Hamlet: DON'T TOUCH ME! ;______________________;
Horatio: ;_____________________;
Hamlet: I am rilly dying here. I HOPE YOU'RE IMPRESSED! HORATIO, TELL MY STORY.
Horatio: ...Um, I think I'll kill myself.
Hamlet: YOU DON'T LOVE ME. DON'T DRINK IT.
Horatio: ;_____________________; No! No! I'm sorry! I won't! Let me clasp you in my arms!
Hamlet: Oh, wow. Why didn't we do this sooner?
Horatio: ...I couldn't say.
Hamlet: Man, life really does suck. *diez*
Horatio: *snuggles like there's no manana*
Fortinbras: HERE I AM, SHINY AND BECROWNED. LOOK HOW I MARCH. LOOK HOW I PWN. ...Dude, WTF happened here?
Horatio: ;_________________; My boyfriend died.
Fortinbras: Whoa. Um.
Ambassadors: ROS AND GUIL ARE DEAD!
Tom Stoppard: Wow, that would make a great title for a great play.
Horatio: Listen, now, giez. I'm going to tell you the story of the Prince. Look how my manly grief is greater than Laertes'. Look how much redder I'm turning. ARE YOU LISTENING?
Fortinbras: Definitely, yeah. But first, I want my land back. That would be cool. And then maybe I'll take over.
Horatio: ...You're making me so mad I'm turning a normal colour again.
Fortinbras: Whatever. Fire a salute for the crazy Prince.
Hamlet: I AM NOT CRAZY!
CURTAIN.
Hamlet: Look! I got clothes again!
Horatio: Aww, mannn.
Gravedigger: I have such a melodious voice, la la la!
Hamlet: ...Hey, look, skull!
Gravedigger: I beg you want to talk to it, huh?
Horatio: *unncessary touching zomg*
Hamlet: ...Oooh, shiny skull. :) :) I think I know it!
Horatio: ...You know it?
Hamlet: Yeah! :) Some of my best friends are skulls, you know.
Gravedigger: *loud*
Hamlet: ...So, whose grave?
Gravedigger: Oh, nobody's. I'm so clever!
Hamlet: Oh, man, shut up. It's only clever when I do it. When you do it, it is TEDIOUS, MAN.
Gravedigger: If I were as tedious as a King, I could find it in my heart to--
Hamlet: SHUT UP.
Gravedigger: So, you heard about Hamlet? He's crazy.
Hamlet: I AM NOT.
Horatio: *coughs*
Hamlet: ...Why do you think I--I mean he, he, why do you think he's mad?
Gravedigger: ...Because it's totally obvious? Here, here's a nice skull. I'll wash it off before you handle it.
Hamlet: ...Ewwww.
Gravedigger: Recognise him?
Hamlet: Dude, I already said I did! It's Yorick! :) I liked Yorick.
Gravedigger: *kisses Yorick*
Hamlet: Gross, man. ;______; Only I get to kiss skulls.
Horatio: ...kiss me too?
Hamlet: Look at Yorick, Horatio! He used to be so awesome! Now he's a wet skull! Life sucks.
Horatio: >:( I NOTICED.
Hamlet: Does everybody's life suck as much as mine?
Horatio: YES.
Hamlet: ZOMG! THEY'RE GOING TO BURY SOMEBODY HERE!
Horatio: ...Yes. That would be the reason for the grave.
Hamlet: Dude. Who is it? I can't see-- Oh, DUDE. IT'S MY GIRLFRIEND.
Horatio: ...LIFE RILLY SUCKS.
Laertes: Hello, this is not the full church ceremony.
Priest: Well, dude, she committed suicide.
Laertes: DO YOU WANT MY MANLY RED-FACED GRIEF TO EAT YOU? BECAUSE IT WILL.
Priest: Sanctuary!
Gertrude: 'Bye, Ophelia. I'm rilly sorry about all this.
Laertes: I HATE EVERYTHING.
Hamlet: OH, MAN. I HATE EVERYTHING MORE THAN YOU DO. STEP DOWN, BITCH. I LOVE YOUR SISTER. FORTY-THOUSAND BROTHERS COULD NOT WITH ALL THEIR QUANTITY OF LOVE--
Laertes: ...I. will. KILL YOU.
Hamlet: I'LL KILL YOU MORE.
Horatio: ;______________; I hate my life.
Gertrude: HELLO. ISN'T SOMEBODY GOING TO TELL THEM TO STOP FIGHTING AT THE FUNERAL?
Laertes: ...All this shouting makes me faint. *swoon*
Hamlet: Geez, man, cool it. Catch you 'round, now that I've totally pwned you.
Laertes: ...
Claudius: So, you want to kill him?
Laertes: ZOMG.
SCENE CHANGE.
Hamlet: So, Horatio. Want to hear how awesome and smart I was? And how much I win at escaping death? And what happened to Ros and Guil?
Horatio: :) :) :) Yes yes!
Hamlet: So Claudius was going to kill me. Blah blah blah. He thinks I'm crazy. XD Can you believe it?
Horatio: ...
Hamlet: Anywayz, I switched letters, and Ros and Guil went to die instead.
Horatio: Oh, wow. You're so smart and brave and you win and--ohhhh, my God. ;_______________; Rosencrantz!
Hamlet: Excuse me?
Horatio: ;_______________; YOU KILLED HIM! I MEAN THEM! ZOMG!
Hamlet: HELLO, ARE YOU NOT SUPPOSED TO BE ON MY SIDE?
Horatio: ...
Hamlet: And now I'm gonna kill Claudius! But not Laertes. Laertes is a good guy.
Horatio: ...
Osric: *has a rilly rilly big fancy hat!* :D :D :D HI THERE!
Hamlet: ...Wear your stupid hat.
Osric: ...But it has a rilly rilly big feather. :) :) ... ?
Hamlet: WEAR IT.
Osric: ...Okay. :(
Hamlet: So, why are you here to annoy me?
Osric: BIG SHINY DUEL! :D You and Laertes! Laertes rocks! So you should duel him!
Hamlet: Um, okay.
Horatio: ...Could you please go away? I want my UST time private.
Osric: SHINY SHINY! :D A smart guy like you, Hamlet, should do shiny with Laertes!
Hamlet: XD Haha, dude, that sounds dirty.
Osric: ... I think I hate you.
Hamlet: XD XD XD
Osric: So, anyway, Laertes is going to pwn you.
Hamlet: ... OKAY, HE'S GOING DOWN.
Osric: :D I'll go tell them.
Hamlet: ...Huh.
Horatio: HI IS THIS NOT TOTALLY OBVIOUS A BAD IDEA?
Hamlet: Man, it's gonna be fun! :)
Horatio: ...
Hamlet: Rilly fun! I can't wait!
Horatio: ... ;__________________;
SCENE CHANGE.
Claudius: So, you guys friends?
Hamlet: Oh, totally! :)
Laertes: ... >:(
Hamlet: :) :)
Laertes: Okay, shut up and get your sword.
Hamlet: Notice, by the way, how not-crazy I am.
Danish Court, collectively: *facepalm/headwall/covert sporfles*
Hamlet: Great! Let's fight! :D
Laertes: I rilly don't like you.
Hamlet: That's why this will be so much fun!
Laertes: ...
Claudius: See this wine? I'm drinking it! It's totally not poisoned! Now I will stick this pearl in it! This pearl is totally not poison!
Osric: Okay, FIGHT GIEZ!
Hamlet: *totally cheats*
Laertes: ...I hate you so much.
Horatio: ...Why is the not-poison wine next to me? Is there some implication here?
Hamlet: *TOTALLY CHEATS AGAIN*
Laertes: *FOOTSTABBITY*
Hamlet: *hops out of the way*
Laertes: I. HATE. YOU.
Hamlet: *pokepoke!*
Osric: Oops, two-love. :D
Laertes: SO MUCH HATE.
Gertrude: I think I'll drink some not-poison wine!
Claudius: ...Oh, great.
Hamlet: All right, let's duel again!
Laertes: TOTALLY ON IT.
Hamlet: *cheat cheat cheat*
Laertes: *stabs*
Hamlet: ZOMG YOU CHEATED!!!!!!!!!! NOW I KEEL JOO!!!!11!eleven!!!
Scuffle: *ensues*
Laertes: *majorly bleeding everywhere*
Osric: --Oh, man, that wasn't supposed to happen!
Gertrude: DUDE! THE NOT-POISON WINE WAS POISONED! *DIEZ*
Hamlet: THIS IS CRAZY!
Laertes: ...You just noticed... Dude, you're going to die. The sword was not-poison, too.
Hamlet: ...Oh, I am rilly very screwed.
Laertes: IT'S CLAUDIUS' FAULT! *DIEZ*
Horatio: ...This is rilly bad, isn't it?
Hamlet: *STABS CLAUDIUS ZOMG AND POURS NOT-POISON WINE DOWN HIS THROAT*
Claudius: *DIEZ*
Hamlet: ...Okay. Okay. Stay calm.
Horatio: ;___________; HAMLET!
Hamlet: DON'T TOUCH ME! ;______________________;
Horatio: ;_____________________;
Hamlet: I am rilly dying here. I HOPE YOU'RE IMPRESSED! HORATIO, TELL MY STORY.
Horatio: ...Um, I think I'll kill myself.
Hamlet: YOU DON'T LOVE ME. DON'T DRINK IT.
Horatio: ;_____________________; No! No! I'm sorry! I won't! Let me clasp you in my arms!
Hamlet: Oh, wow. Why didn't we do this sooner?
Horatio: ...I couldn't say.
Hamlet: Man, life really does suck. *diez*
Horatio: *snuggles like there's no manana*
Fortinbras: HERE I AM, SHINY AND BECROWNED. LOOK HOW I MARCH. LOOK HOW I PWN. ...Dude, WTF happened here?
Horatio: ;_________________; My boyfriend died.
Fortinbras: Whoa. Um.
Ambassadors: ROS AND GUIL ARE DEAD!
Tom Stoppard: Wow, that would make a great title for a great play.
Horatio: Listen, now, giez. I'm going to tell you the story of the Prince. Look how my manly grief is greater than Laertes'. Look how much redder I'm turning. ARE YOU LISTENING?
Fortinbras: Definitely, yeah. But first, I want my land back. That would be cool. And then maybe I'll take over.
Horatio: ...You're making me so mad I'm turning a normal colour again.
Fortinbras: Whatever. Fire a salute for the crazy Prince.
Hamlet: I AM NOT CRAZY!
CURTAIN.
"If You've Got a Minute Why Don't We Go...?"
Eee. Just got back from moving party. ^_^;; We moved house for one of Mum's fellow nurses who is going to Missouri, hid all her things in another nurse's basement.
And then I snaffled two diet cokes. :D
So I know everyone is going to be all, 'HELLO THIS IS RILLY OBVIOUS', but I ate more than my eight-hundred calories yesterday, probably closer to twelve-hundred, and I feel fine to-day. I mean--I am not with the hating me. This is most bizarre, and it's making me think maybe it's okay to eat more. Maybe. Just a bit more.
...Please don't jump me. ^__^;;; I know how obvious that was to everybody else.
Now I go to read my shiny Shakespeare book, or perhaps to work on one of my five-hundred neglected writing projects. ^^;;; I lose.
And then I snaffled two diet cokes. :D
So I know everyone is going to be all, 'HELLO THIS IS RILLY OBVIOUS', but I ate more than my eight-hundred calories yesterday, probably closer to twelve-hundred, and I feel fine to-day. I mean--I am not with the hating me. This is most bizarre, and it's making me think maybe it's okay to eat more. Maybe. Just a bit more.
...Please don't jump me. ^__^;;; I know how obvious that was to everybody else.
Now I go to read my shiny Shakespeare book, or perhaps to work on one of my five-hundred neglected writing projects. ^^;;; I lose.
"I Guess We Have Some Time to Kill..."
We saw Pride and Prejudice! ^____^
...It was not very good. Kiera Knightly is not pretty. ;____; I like the pretty Lizzy Bennett from the A&E version, owing as she could act.
It was funny, though!
Kiera Knightly is just not Lizzy Bennett, kind of in the way Derek Jacobi is just not Hamlet.
Also, Rufus Sewell is the prettiest thing on earth and looks beautiful in mascara and I want to fangirl him for-ever.
...It was not very good. Kiera Knightly is not pretty. ;____; I like the pretty Lizzy Bennett from the A&E version, owing as she could act.
It was funny, though!
Kiera Knightly is just not Lizzy Bennett, kind of in the way Derek Jacobi is just not Hamlet.
Also, Rufus Sewell is the prettiest thing on earth and looks beautiful in mascara and I want to fangirl him for-ever.
"It's Not Easy to be the King of Pain..."
Dancing in the dark 'til the tune ends
We're dancing in the dark and it soon ends
We're waltzing in the wonder of why we're here
Time hurries by, we're here and we're gone
Looking for the light of a new love
To brighten up the night, I have you love
And we can face the music together
Dancing in the dark
What - though love is old
What - though song is old
Through them we can be young
Hear this heart of mine
Make yours part of mine
Dear one, tell me that we're one
Looking for the light of a new love
To brighten up the night, I have you love
And we can face the music together
Dancing in the dark, dancing in the dark
Dancing in the dark
I feel I have something in my hands, and I'm not sure what it is, and I'm not sure what I'm doing, but I do know
that I need more mailing envelopes, and that I will write letters and stories to-morrow, and I will be home all day, in the quiet.
And perhaps to-night I will dream.
We're dancing in the dark and it soon ends
We're waltzing in the wonder of why we're here
Time hurries by, we're here and we're gone
Looking for the light of a new love
To brighten up the night, I have you love
And we can face the music together
Dancing in the dark
What - though love is old
What - though song is old
Through them we can be young
Hear this heart of mine
Make yours part of mine
Dear one, tell me that we're one
Looking for the light of a new love
To brighten up the night, I have you love
And we can face the music together
Dancing in the dark, dancing in the dark
Dancing in the dark
I feel I have something in my hands, and I'm not sure what it is, and I'm not sure what I'm doing, but I do know
that I need more mailing envelopes, and that I will write letters and stories to-morrow, and I will be home all day, in the quiet.
And perhaps to-night I will dream.