"I Don't Believe a Word of What You're Telling Me..."

[psalm_onethirtyone]

Haaaaaaaaaaaaaaamlet.

Horatio is such a dork. He's all: ZOMG it's cold! ZOMG. I hate you all for making me come out in the cold.

And Bernardo and Marcellus are all: Ghost! Ghost! Lookit the ghost!

And Horatio is all: ZOMG COLD YOU GIEZ. ;______________; -- OH MY GOD, IT'S A GHOST.

Too wonderful.

And then Claudius is all: *swagger swagger smirk*

And Laertes is RILLY RILLY CUTE and all: ...Hiiii! :) :)

And Claudius is all: Whatever, go to France.

And then Hamlet is all: *SULK*

And Claudius is all: Gawd, you are such a brat. But, you know, whatever, stay here and be my kid.

And Hamlet is all: *hisss* NO, MAN.

And Gertrude is all: Hamlet, plz, stop being a brat and stay here.

And Hamlet's all: Okay, fine, since you asked.

And then everybody files out and he emos a lot and Horatio comes in! DadadaDA.

Horatio: ...Hiiii...! :)

Hamlet: Dude, whatever. --ZOMG, HORATIO!

Horatio: :) :) ...!... ?...

Hamlet: HIIIIIIIIIII! DUDE, YOU CAME!

Horatio: ...Yeah, for the funeral...

Hamlet: Yeah, man, whatever, for the wedding. Thrift thrift and all that, wotwot. I'm so clever and so angsty.

Horatio: ...

Hamlet: I think I see my father, man.

Horatio: ZOMG WHERE?!?!?!

Hamlet: ...Um. You know. In my head. Since he's. You know. Dead, man.

Horatio: ;___________________; Don't ever scare me like that again. I saw your father last night.

Hamlet: WTF NO.

Horatio: Ohhhh, yeah. And MAN, was he creepy.

Hamlet: ...

Horatio: ...You wanna see him to-night?

Hamlet: DUDE YES. WHAT DID HE LOOK LIKE?

Horatio: ...Like he looked. You know.

Hamlet: Okay. To-night, man! I love you!

Horatio: :) :)...!

Hamlet: ...All of you.

Horatio: ... :(

SCENE CHANGE.

Laertes: *is cute*

Ophelia: *is not*

SCENE CHANGE.

Hamlet: Dude, it's cold.

Horatio: DUDE, I KNOW. ;_________________________________________;

Ghost: HI THERE! Catch me if you can! *turns and bounces off in his glowing green radioactive armour*

Hamlet: WTF WTF ZOMG. DAD.

Horatio: Okay, you've seen him. Now STAY HERE.

Hamlet: I'm going after him!

Horatio: ZOMG NO.

Hamlet: 'BYE!

Ghost: Dude, so your uncle killed me. This really pisses me off. It makes me shouty. DUDE TAKE REVENGE ALREADY.

Hamlet: *falls on the ground and criez*

Ghost: ACT LIKE A MAN. STAB THAT GUY.

Hamlet: *criiiiiiez*

Ghost: Okay, whatever. I'm out of here.

Hamlet: *criiiiiiiiiez and flails*

Horatio: ZOMG ARE YOU OKAY? *unnecessary touching zomg*

Hamlet: *babbles* SWEAR YOU NEVER SAW ANYTHING TO-NIGHT!

Horatio: ...Dude, major overkill. If I tell anybody I saw your dad looking radioactive, they will totally commit me.

Hamlet: SWEAR DAMMIT.

Horatio: ...Dude, I'm taller than you are! :) :)

Hamlet: SWEAR OR I KILL JOO.

Horatio: Okay, okay, fine, whatever. *swears*

Hamlet: Whew. Great. Now, if I start to act crazy, don't worry about it, okay?

Horatio: ...If you start to act crazy?

SCENE CHANGE.

Comments

[bewareofitalics]

*giggles* I love your recaps. *will totally be getting to the library for Shakespeare movies one of these days...*

[rainbowjehan.livejournal.com]

^_^;;; Thank youuuu.

[sansenmage.livejournal.com]

Oh, artistic cannibalism alert! Anyway, I like your angsty-wangsty verion of Hamlet better.

[rainbowjehan.livejournal.com]

^______^;;; Thank you. I like destroying classics.