psalm_onethirtyone: (Esmeralda [made by Waen])
Soujin ([personal profile] psalm_onethirtyone) wrote2006-08-11 10:01 pm
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  • Current Mood: anxious
  • Current Music: Modulation - Ani Difranco

"Hello, Mary-Lou; Good-bye, Heart..."

Hellooo, working on Fridays is bizarre. All the CNAs wear jeans. I spent a lot of time going '...?' before I realised it was casual Friday.

In any case. To-day when I went in to see her, Irma ordered an orange juice/fruit punch/applejuice drink seasoned with salt, pepper, and paper.

And I walked into a door again.

I have managed to be thoroughly uninteresting, and intend to keep on being so--I need to write Waen Bootstrap Bill/Queequeg before we leave to-morrow at some dreadful time in the morning, and I haven't even packed. Oh, dear.

Waen opened her hat this evening, though, and she loves it. She's wearing it with her Grateful Dead skulls and roses handkerchief, and she looks very hardcore and badass. ^_^ And I got some new white silk ribbon off her present from Ellen, so I am v. exceedingly glad.

But--all of you? I'm very worried about going away. I'm worried about leaving work, because some of my people are ill or unstable, and some of them are going home while I'm gone [if everything goes right--that's the catch], and I'm frightened Anna won't be well when I get home, and Gayle fell out of bed yesterday, and-- I'm really worried about you, too. So please, as a favour to me, can you take care of yourselves and each other? I don't want anything to happen that's awful. Love each other a lot, and support each other, and someone please make Zara sleep and eat. I want something who will report directly to me. XD But srsly, I love you all so, so much. I want you to be safe and well.

Adieu, adieu, remember me--

(the rest is silence. at least for a week.)
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erinpuff: (Wibbly Ros)

[personal profile] erinpuff 2006-08-12 02:22 am (UTC)(link)
Leavinggggg??? :( I'll miiiiss you, love. Where are you going?

[identity profile] rainbowjehan.livejournal.com 2006-08-12 04:38 am (UTC)(link)
*hugshugshugshugshugsfor-ever* I'm going to the Adirondacks. I'll be back in a week, and I'll write you, I promise.
bewareofitalics: (Sebastian and Antonio)

[personal profile] bewareofitalics 2006-08-12 03:22 am (UTC)(link)
(Hey, it's the Osric/Fortinbras song! *g*)

I knew someone at ETC who ate paper! When we had to pick a food to represent each word of our sonnets, he chose a different kind of paper for each. I don't know how serious he was, but yeah.

*hugs tight* Have fun! Love ya!

[identity profile] rainbowjehan.livejournal.com 2006-08-12 04:38 am (UTC)(link)
(XD IT IS!)

Yes, but in an orange juice/fruit punch/applejuice mix with pepper and salt?

^___^ Thank youuuuu.
bewareofitalics: (Sebastian and Antonio)

[personal profile] bewareofitalics 2006-08-12 04:42 am (UTC)(link)
(And it also led to Osric and Valentine getting married! Chinesely.)

Hm... probably not, no.

Yooooou're welcome! And heeeeey, shouldn't you be sleeping or something?

[identity profile] rainbowjehan.livejournal.com 2006-08-21 05:41 pm (UTC)(link)
(XD so it did.)

Right.

...Probably. I stayed up all that night.

[identity profile] mhari.livejournal.com 2006-08-12 03:34 am (UTC)(link)
*attaches* We will be good! You be good too! Have a good time!

[identity profile] rainbowjehan.livejournal.com 2006-08-12 04:37 am (UTC)(link)
Will! Promise! ^_______^ Love you!

[identity profile] theatre-angel.livejournal.com 2006-08-12 04:22 am (UTC)(link)
NO, I refuse to let this happen! *g* Have a good time. (Oh! We listened to the first four songs of Notre Dame de Paris in French class today, and I thought of you. ♥)

[identity profile] rainbowjehan.livejournal.com 2006-08-12 04:37 am (UTC)(link)
Sorry...! I will. ^___^ (Eeeeee, eeeeeeeeeeeee. Isn't it wonderful? Oh-- eeeeee. ♥)

[identity profile] theatre-angel.livejournal.com 2006-08-12 04:41 am (UTC)(link)
Please do! (It is so beautiful! I still have the CDs that you burned for me on the shelf with the rest of my music. And if the rest of my family weren't asleep right now, I would be blasting it out right now. Sigh. "Bohemienne" was my favorite.)

[identity profile] rainbowjehan.livejournal.com 2006-08-21 05:41 pm (UTC)(link)
I did! Just as you asked! (^___________^ I know, Bohemienne is just--amazing. So wonderful.)

[identity profile] silverdragon262.livejournal.com 2006-08-12 04:32 am (UTC)(link)
Zara will eat and sleep if Soujin does, and not a moment before.

♥

[identity profile] silverdragon262.livejournal.com 2006-08-12 04:38 am (UTC)(link)
Then it could probably be arranged.

[identity profile] silverdragon262.livejournal.com 2006-08-12 05:28 am (UTC)(link)
♥ ♥ ♥ Love thee. Even if you are leaving me for a week.

[identity profile] rainbowjehan.livejournal.com 2006-08-12 05:31 am (UTC)(link)
;___________; You sekritly hate me for it, don't you?

[identity profile] rainbowjehan.livejournal.com 2006-08-12 05:47 am (UTC)(link)
*snugglestight* I love you.

[identity profile] silverdragon262.livejournal.com 2006-08-12 05:53 am (UTC)(link)
You too. I made myself feel worse. But it'll pass. It has to.

[identity profile] rainbowjehan.livejournal.com 2006-08-12 06:16 am (UTC)(link)
Why? How? Don't, don't. *hairstrokes* Is there anything I can do at all?

[identity profile] silverdragon262.livejournal.com 2006-08-12 06:19 am (UTC)(link)
New entry. But. But other than that, it's mostly what I told Gil over in the other one. It's me.

[identity profile] rainbowjehan.livejournal.com 2006-08-12 06:31 am (UTC)(link)
You're not a bad person to forget. Sometimes you forget. In a way it's healthier, but even if you really wanted to remember, it's not your fault if you forget. And Zara, beloved, you are such a wonderful person. You are.

[identity profile] silverdragon262.livejournal.com 2006-08-12 06:43 am (UTC)(link)
Meh, it's not even that. It's that there's something wrong with everything I do; sometimes other people can't see it, but sometimes they do. It's not explainable-- and you know, sometimes I forget that Zara's my name, but that has nothing to do with anything. I could tell you about me, but. But. See, it's no good.

[identity profile] rainbowjehan.livejournal.com 2006-08-12 06:51 am (UTC)(link)
I think you're depressed. This all sounds--horribly like the way I felt when I was at my worst, and I really, really need you to tell somebody who can do something about it. I know you wanted to wait until Pitt to do any therapy, but you can't wait, especially if you've got yet another sickness on top of all the ones you're dealing with now (because depression joins us as, yes, a sickness--that's why they're called mental illnesses, you know). I'm so worried about you, and I love you so much, and I don't want anything to happen to you, do you understand? My situation was loads easier than yours and I considered killing myself; and what you deal with every day is so much more difficult, and you don't have a supportive family environment, and --damn, I am so scared, Zara. Please promise to find a doctor to tell, and who will tell you whether or not you needed to be diagnosed.

Because I'm serious. I'm terrified. This is the worst possible time to be leaving you. I need you to do something that will help you take care of yourself.

[identity profile] silverdragon262.livejournal.com 2006-08-12 07:04 am (UTC)(link)
See, that's what I don't get-- I don't have a situation, perhaps beyond the sleeping disorder, and it's been seven months since my grandmother died (seven months exactly on my birthday, do you know?) and the crazy just needs to let up, that's all. It's really not as bad as all that.

I promise it's not; and I'm fine, and I will be.

[identity profile] rainbowjehan.livejournal.com 2006-08-12 07:09 am (UTC)(link)
No. Just--no. Hi. Denial. Wtf. Zara, don't do this to me. I am going to guilt you if I have to. You have a sleeping sickness and so many little illnesses that make you tired and unhappy and in so much pain all the time, and it's been two years since my grandma died (on my parents' anniversary--we found out when we got home from laughing and having dinner together out, and I said something whiny that I'll feel bad about my whole life), and I still miss her.

You're not okay. If you were okay, you wouldn't be feeling like this. I cannot leave you unless you promise me you'll do something.

[identity profile] silverdragon262.livejournal.com 2006-08-12 07:13 am (UTC)(link)
I'm not okay, but I'm fine. All right? There's nothing to promise, and I shouldn't have said anything to begin with.

[identity profile] rainbowjehan.livejournal.com 2006-08-12 07:15 am (UTC)(link)
Clearly we cannot talk about this.

I need to go up and pack and get ready to go now, so I'm going to have to say good-bye and good-night. It is three-twenty. Get. to. bed.

I love you. Please be all right. If you need to call, the cell phone is 717/319/1685. I love you.

[identity profile] silverdragon262.livejournal.com 2006-08-12 07:20 am (UTC)(link)
Goodnight, goodbye, and I love you too. I'll see you in a week. ♥ (And I'll actually see you in three weeks.)

I'll be all right, I promise. I'm always all right; it's the one thing I can count on. Don't worry-- have fun instead. If I keep you from having fun, I'll be even more unhappy, okay?

[identity profile] rainbowjehan.livejournal.com 2006-08-12 07:23 am (UTC)(link)
♥ Okay. Just a week. (--Christmas in September...!)

Okay. Okay. I'm sorry. I get really, really worried because sometimes I don't see how you can handle it, and I'm sorry for being a bitch these last few comments. I love you so much.

'Bye. ♥

[identity profile] silverdragon262.livejournal.com 2006-08-12 07:35 am (UTC)(link)
It's only forever; that's not long at all. (♥!)

It's all right, really. I don't know either, and I really don't know, but-- I really don't want to see anyone; I really, really, really don't want to see anyone. Perhaps someday that'll change or it'll have to change, but. I'm sorry if that's not right, but right now it's the way it is. And I'm sorry for worrying you, because you don't need it. (I'll be honest, completely honest, and say that people have been saying what you're saying for at least four years now, and sometimes I think they're right. But I'm no emergency, nothing to be scared over, I have no big plans except getting through, and you'll have to believe me. So maybe it's not all completely all right, but I guess what I'm saying is that I'm self-aware and I need you to trust me.)

♥ ♥ Heart of heart.

[identity profile] rainbowjehan.livejournal.com 2006-08-21 05:43 pm (UTC)(link)
Who waits for-ever anyway?

Why on earth would you think you're no emergency? You're one of the most wonderful people in the world, and anything that's wrong deserves attention. Please know that.

[identity profile] lokogato.livejournal.com 2006-08-12 07:07 pm (UTC)(link)
Have fun, don't worry. Even if it's tall order. I love you, 'demoiselle.

[identity profile] rainbowjehan.livejournal.com 2006-08-21 05:43 pm (UTC)(link)
I love you, too. So much. ^______^

[identity profile] rainbowjehan.livejournal.com 2006-08-21 05:44 pm (UTC)(link)
je t'aime.
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