"I Wish I Could Fly From This Building, From This Wall..."

[psalm_onethirtyone]

To-day wins at the best conversation ever.

Soujin: So, I gave Joyce her list of Shakespeare names, but she lost them. It's probably for the best. They're so she can pick a name for her new puppy, and I definitely put Chiron on the list.
Mum: Chiron?
Soujin: Yis. One of the boys from Titus Andronicus. He rapes Lavinia and then cuts off her hands and her tongue.
Mum: ...Great.
Dad: Isn't Chiron a centaur?
Soujin: Shakespeare likes to steal names--
Mum: Centaurs raped people.
Waen: They didn't cut bits off them.
Soujin: IN ANY CASE. Saturninus was also on the list.
Waen: That's just stupid. Who'd name a puppy Saturninus?
Soujin: The same woman who thought Rosencrantz was a good name.
Waen: Yeah, but people actually know who Rosencrantz is. If Rosencrantz were Saturninus, then she could name it Saturninus.
Soujin: I see it all now. SATURNINUS AND GUILDENSTERN ARE DEAD.
Mum: Not the same ring.
Soujin: Definitely not.
Dad: You know, Titus just isn't relevant any more.
Mum: ...Right. Yes. Sweeney Todd just stole its fanbase.
Soujin: Guys...
Waen: I'm eating dinner, hello.
Soujin: You know what would be awesome? If she named the puppy Chiron and then called it sweetie-pie.
Waen: EATING. DINNER.

My foot hates me to-day, because lo and behold I went to work, and stood on it for four or five hours, and now it is draining again. >_> My sock was all wet. As a result, I was not allowed to go to the library picnic for people who work at the library, and so I sulked, alas.

Also, one of the nurses at work resulted in another conversation:

Nurse 1: *is feeding Gayle supper*
Soujin: Hi!
Gayle: ^___^ Hi!
Nurse 1: Hi, there.
Nurse 2: *flings self into room* ROMAINE SPAT ON ME.
Soujin: ...Yes. She does that.
Nurse 2: NOT ON ME, SHE DOESN'T.
Gayle: You have to understand what kind of people you're working with...
Nurse 2: Yeah, I understand, but I ain't taking that from anybody. I told her don't she dare do that. She spit on me! Can you believe that?
Nurse 1: *makes placating noises*
Nurse 2: Anyway, I'm okay. I'm having a good day. I'm pretty zen to-day. I'm not letting anybody piss me off. Except some of my co-workers are.
Soujin: ^^;;; I know, I was one of them, right? I bothered you earlier...
Nurse 2: YEAH, YOU DID. --Honey, are you goth?
Soujin: *is wearing a long brown blouse, the tiered blue skirt, and the sparkly blue earrings* ...No?
Nurse 2: Are you sure?
Gayle: What's goth?
Nurse 2: It's, like, you're dark.
Soujin: You have a tortured soul and try to dress to express.
Gayle: ...wtf.
Soujin: In any case. Not goth.
Nurse 2: Hippie?
Soujin: ...No. ^^
Nurse 2: You know what, honey, you could be really pretty. Now, don't take this wrong, I'm not being mean. I'm just saying. You need a makeover, seriously. Like that one TV show, what's it called?
Gayle: What Not to Wear.
Nurse 2: YEAH. That's the one! You should be on that show! Man, you straighten your hair, get some contacts, you could be--woo!
Soujin: ^^;;;; I like my curls.
Nurse 2: Maybe now, but honey, if you wanna look good, you need to do something about yourself! Do you have a social life? What school do you go to?
Soujin: Homeschooled! ^_^
Nurse 2: I CAN TELL! You have no social life, do you? I bet you don't talk to anybody. You got this shell around you, I can tell. Honey, you need to break through that glass! Are you going to college?
Soujin: ^___^! Pre-med.
Nurse 2: Oh, honey, you can't do that the way you are now. You gotta talk to people.
Soujin: I'm hoping to be a geriatric or stoma surgeon. ^_^ Hopefully I won't have to talk to anybody! They'll be under anesthesia the whole time!
Nurse 2: It is not just old people who go to pre-med school. You need to change, big-time, or you're gonna die in college. Now, I'm not psychic--I don't believe in none of that shit, trust me, magic and psychic and all that stuff, but I know you are gonna realise what you need to do, and get yourself a makeover, and you'll go way far, honey.
Soujin: ...
Nurse 1: *has slipped out of the room halfway through all this*
Nurse 2: 'Bye, Gayle! I'm gonna go do some of those call-lights now!
Soujin: ...
Gayle: ^____^ Geriatric surgeon, huh? You'd better stop biting your fingernails.
Soujin: ...May I go home, please?

The worst part is that now I'm worrying about my clothes. What Not to Wear? ;____________;

Comments

[erinpuff]

Oh, for fuck's sake. *headdesk* Nurse 2 is on crack. I like your curls and your clothes and your everything. Social lives are overrated, and being told you *have* to have one is urgh. Fitting in with normal people is also overrated, because normal people are boring.

Also, I never talk, I don't dress right, I have curly hair and no self-confidence, and I'm in my third year of college and haven't died yet! ^^ So you can too.

[rainbowjehan.livejournal.com]

*clings* Normal people are sad and do not make Hamlet or HoratioHornblower jokes.

^___________________^ I shall follow your example studiously.

[josiana.livejournal.com]

My foot hates me to-day, because lo and behold I went to work, and stood on it for four or five hours, and now it is draining again. >_>
ACK. O.O ACK. That...is just....O.O

Also, What Not to Wear is a thing of Satan. Never, ever, ever, listen to anything they say. ^_^ Goth!Soujin would be terribly cute, however.

This has been your obligatory vapid, missing the point-style comment for the day.

[eremon-lass.livejournal.com]

I AM SO GOING TO GET A PET AND NAME IT CHIRON AND CALL IT SWEETIE-PIE!!!

*ahem* Who, me? No, I never abuse capslock; what do you ask?

(And by the way, my hair is straight, and I would kill to have curls like yours. And I love your skirts, from the pictures I've seen. So there. And you obviously have a social life, because you talk to us, and that totall counts. So there. *squishes you*)

[rainbowjehan.livejournal.com]

It's annoying, is what it is. >_> Mum dosed it with silver sulfadine and wrapt it up and lectured me.

Is it? I told Mum I imagined there were lots of gay gentlemen running about fixing people's clothing. --Would not. XD I tried it once. It doesn't work. Shall I do it to-morrow and get you pictures?

Nah. I adore you. *POUNCE*

[mmebahorel.livejournal.com]

Actually, I am tempted to listen to one thing they say, because I need to find a bra that actually fits.

(also, Soujin dear, when she asked "hippie?" you should have just said yes. I think the conversation would have gone away faster. With people who don't understand that not everyone needs to be the same, if you can just fit into one of the groups in their head, they'll leave you alone. Besides, it's got to be more fun to sit under a tree smoking weed than to deal with people like her.)

[rainbowjehan.livejournal.com]

IF YOU DO, I WILL DIE OF GLEE. GUILTY, GUILTY GLEE.

...Me neither!

(Ohhh. Mine are so silly. The humidity makes them do that, so during the winter my hair always loses a bit of the curl. And--thank you. And OF COURSE YOU DO. ^____________^ Thank you.)

[gileonnen.livejournal.com]

1) Titus Andronisweeny conversation is love. Messy, yucky, puppy-naming love. If I ever had a puppy, I would so name it Rosencrantz and it would be just like Ros!puppy.

2) If I get as many random people yelling out of car windows at me as I do, and I dress pretty much like you do and wear glasses and take the same degree of care for my hair, then clearly Nurse 2 needs to be hugged. A lot. Because she doesn't understand what makes people either attractive or lovable. *SNUGGLE*

[rainbowjehan.livejournal.com]

I have one! :D It is a godsend.

(Probably. ^^;;; I really was just completely taken aback by that conversation. Also, Waen is the one who would appear to be smoking weed.)

[josiana.livejournal.com]

;_____; Butbutbut...your foot.

The one I've seen has these scary R-lookalike ladies ambushing people (whose friends have apparently signed them up for it) and stealing their clothes. The results are generally scary. ;_; Aw. If it isn't any trouble. XD

I'm agog and aghast shocked! :D

[tiamatschild.livejournal.com]

Your feet! :( Woe.

*cackles at your dinner conversation* Mom usually starts threatening to throw forks at Dad the instant he brings Titus up. :D

*eyes Nurse 2* Honey, anyone who cites "What Not to Wear" at you is plainly a total fashion tool and should be ignored. And geeze - rude personal prying and advice much? That's just. Urgh. No. Height of bad manners.

[mhari.livejournal.com]

....2 is probably a very nice and well-intentioned lady and therefore I will not HUNT HER DOWN AND STORM UP TO HER FRONT DOOR TO TELL HER JUST HOW MUCH TASTE SHE DOES NOT HAVE AND POSSIBLY TP HER HOUSE FOR GOOD MEASURE. WTF.

Yes. That's what I won't do.

Meantime, here's some fun links about What Not To Wear: 1, 2.

Now, do you seriously think you need help from THAT quarter?

[josiana.livejournal.com]

I suppose different things work for different people. ^_^

[rainbowjehan.livejournal.com]

1. It was pretty funny. ^___^ There are actually bits of it that got so, um, un-pc that they could not be posted. See, now, that would be cute. ^__^

2. She was hot, too, which was not helpful about me feeling like she was just being silly. *hugs*

[rainbowjehan.livejournal.com]

They're doing better! ^_^

Heee. Does he do that regularly?

I am so scared of people who do that to me. So. demn. terrified. *clings*

[gileonnen.livejournal.com]

1. Un-PC? Urrrk, Mac and Linux conversations! Yes, yes it would. That is now my pet-owning ambition. ^________^

2. Eheheh, no wonder. Hot people often assume that their hotness is part of why they're able to be so personable--little do they know, it's the confidence that they get from being hot. You'd be comfortably personable (and probably pretty hot, too!) if you could be confident in yourself. *isn't confident, therefore isn't personable or hot--but is getting better at it!*

[silverdragon262.livejournal.com]

I told Mum I imagined there were lots of gay gentlemen running about fixing people's clothing.

That would be Queer Eye For the Straight Guy. But unfortunately you do not qualify.

[rainbowjehan.livejournal.com]

1. You, ma'am, are horrid. You and my Daddy would get on beautifully. ^_______^

2. Rilly? People confuse me so much. *--but cute! Gils are awfully, awfully prettycute*

[rainbowjehan.livejournal.com]

Alas. XD

[gileonnen.livejournal.com]

2. *Soujins are, too--*

[rainbowjehan.livejournal.com]

My foot is soothed now. ^_^

...They let ladies who look like R do people's clothing? For heaven's sake...! --Nope. ^__^ Mary-Jane shall stare at me, but she thinks it's funny, so it'll be fine. I have no black makeup, however. ...I have no makeup, as a matter of fact.

>:D

[rainbowjehan.livejournal.com]

2. *quiet, thou*

[gileonnen.livejournal.com]

2. *wherefore? :P*

[rainbowjehan.livejournal.com]

--Oh, dear. I sort of like the first dress, if it had filler between that waist section, but the second one's just--very unappealing. Beige lace is kind of an awful thing. Oh, dear.

She terrified me. XD And Gayle so did not help.

[rainbowjehan.livejournal.com]

2. *thou speakst not truth*