"I Wish I Could Fly From This Building, From This Wall..."

[psalm_onethirtyone]

To-day wins at the best conversation ever.

Soujin: So, I gave Joyce her list of Shakespeare names, but she lost them. It's probably for the best. They're so she can pick a name for her new puppy, and I definitely put Chiron on the list.
Mum: Chiron?
Soujin: Yis. One of the boys from Titus Andronicus. He rapes Lavinia and then cuts off her hands and her tongue.
Mum: ...Great.
Dad: Isn't Chiron a centaur?
Soujin: Shakespeare likes to steal names--
Mum: Centaurs raped people.
Waen: They didn't cut bits off them.
Soujin: IN ANY CASE. Saturninus was also on the list.
Waen: That's just stupid. Who'd name a puppy Saturninus?
Soujin: The same woman who thought Rosencrantz was a good name.
Waen: Yeah, but people actually know who Rosencrantz is. If Rosencrantz were Saturninus, then she could name it Saturninus.
Soujin: I see it all now. SATURNINUS AND GUILDENSTERN ARE DEAD.
Mum: Not the same ring.
Soujin: Definitely not.
Dad: You know, Titus just isn't relevant any more.
Mum: ...Right. Yes. Sweeney Todd just stole its fanbase.
Soujin: Guys...
Waen: I'm eating dinner, hello.
Soujin: You know what would be awesome? If she named the puppy Chiron and then called it sweetie-pie.
Waen: EATING. DINNER.

My foot hates me to-day, because lo and behold I went to work, and stood on it for four or five hours, and now it is draining again. >_> My sock was all wet. As a result, I was not allowed to go to the library picnic for people who work at the library, and so I sulked, alas.

Also, one of the nurses at work resulted in another conversation:

Nurse 1: *is feeding Gayle supper*
Soujin: Hi!
Gayle: ^___^ Hi!
Nurse 1: Hi, there.
Nurse 2: *flings self into room* ROMAINE SPAT ON ME.
Soujin: ...Yes. She does that.
Nurse 2: NOT ON ME, SHE DOESN'T.
Gayle: You have to understand what kind of people you're working with...
Nurse 2: Yeah, I understand, but I ain't taking that from anybody. I told her don't she dare do that. She spit on me! Can you believe that?
Nurse 1: *makes placating noises*
Nurse 2: Anyway, I'm okay. I'm having a good day. I'm pretty zen to-day. I'm not letting anybody piss me off. Except some of my co-workers are.
Soujin: ^^;;; I know, I was one of them, right? I bothered you earlier...
Nurse 2: YEAH, YOU DID. --Honey, are you goth?
Soujin: *is wearing a long brown blouse, the tiered blue skirt, and the sparkly blue earrings* ...No?
Nurse 2: Are you sure?
Gayle: What's goth?
Nurse 2: It's, like, you're dark.
Soujin: You have a tortured soul and try to dress to express.
Gayle: ...wtf.
Soujin: In any case. Not goth.
Nurse 2: Hippie?
Soujin: ...No. ^^
Nurse 2: You know what, honey, you could be really pretty. Now, don't take this wrong, I'm not being mean. I'm just saying. You need a makeover, seriously. Like that one TV show, what's it called?
Gayle: What Not to Wear.
Nurse 2: YEAH. That's the one! You should be on that show! Man, you straighten your hair, get some contacts, you could be--woo!
Soujin: ^^;;;; I like my curls.
Nurse 2: Maybe now, but honey, if you wanna look good, you need to do something about yourself! Do you have a social life? What school do you go to?
Soujin: Homeschooled! ^_^
Nurse 2: I CAN TELL! You have no social life, do you? I bet you don't talk to anybody. You got this shell around you, I can tell. Honey, you need to break through that glass! Are you going to college?
Soujin: ^___^! Pre-med.
Nurse 2: Oh, honey, you can't do that the way you are now. You gotta talk to people.
Soujin: I'm hoping to be a geriatric or stoma surgeon. ^_^ Hopefully I won't have to talk to anybody! They'll be under anesthesia the whole time!
Nurse 2: It is not just old people who go to pre-med school. You need to change, big-time, or you're gonna die in college. Now, I'm not psychic--I don't believe in none of that shit, trust me, magic and psychic and all that stuff, but I know you are gonna realise what you need to do, and get yourself a makeover, and you'll go way far, honey.
Soujin: ...
Nurse 1: *has slipped out of the room halfway through all this*
Nurse 2: 'Bye, Gayle! I'm gonna go do some of those call-lights now!
Soujin: ...
Gayle: ^____^ Geriatric surgeon, huh? You'd better stop biting your fingernails.
Soujin: ...May I go home, please?

The worst part is that now I'm worrying about my clothes. What Not to Wear? ;____________;

Comments

[erinpuff]

Oh, for fuck's sake. *headdesk* Nurse 2 is on crack. I like your curls and your clothes and your everything. Social lives are overrated, and being told you *have* to have one is urgh. Fitting in with normal people is also overrated, because normal people are boring.

Also, I never talk, I don't dress right, I have curly hair and no self-confidence, and I'm in my third year of college and haven't died yet! ^^ So you can too.

[josiana.livejournal.com]

My foot hates me to-day, because lo and behold I went to work, and stood on it for four or five hours, and now it is draining again. >_>
ACK. O.O ACK. That...is just....O.O

Also, What Not to Wear is a thing of Satan. Never, ever, ever, listen to anything they say. ^_^ Goth!Soujin would be terribly cute, however.

This has been your obligatory vapid, missing the point-style comment for the day.

[eremon-lass.livejournal.com]

I AM SO GOING TO GET A PET AND NAME IT CHIRON AND CALL IT SWEETIE-PIE!!!

*ahem* Who, me? No, I never abuse capslock; what do you ask?

(And by the way, my hair is straight, and I would kill to have curls like yours. And I love your skirts, from the pictures I've seen. So there. And you obviously have a social life, because you talk to us, and that totall counts. So there. *squishes you*)

[gileonnen.livejournal.com]

1) Titus Andronisweeny conversation is love. Messy, yucky, puppy-naming love. If I ever had a puppy, I would so name it Rosencrantz and it would be just like Ros!puppy.

2) If I get as many random people yelling out of car windows at me as I do, and I dress pretty much like you do and wear glasses and take the same degree of care for my hair, then clearly Nurse 2 needs to be hugged. A lot. Because she doesn't understand what makes people either attractive or lovable. *SNUGGLE*

[tiamatschild.livejournal.com]

Your feet! :( Woe.

*cackles at your dinner conversation* Mom usually starts threatening to throw forks at Dad the instant he brings Titus up. :D

*eyes Nurse 2* Honey, anyone who cites "What Not to Wear" at you is plainly a total fashion tool and should be ignored. And geeze - rude personal prying and advice much? That's just. Urgh. No. Height of bad manners.

[mhari.livejournal.com]

....2 is probably a very nice and well-intentioned lady and therefore I will not HUNT HER DOWN AND STORM UP TO HER FRONT DOOR TO TELL HER JUST HOW MUCH TASTE SHE DOES NOT HAVE AND POSSIBLY TP HER HOUSE FOR GOOD MEASURE. WTF.

Yes. That's what I won't do.

Meantime, here's some fun links about What Not To Wear: 1, 2.

Now, do you seriously think you need help from THAT quarter?

[bewareofitalics]

Chiron was the nice centaur who taught Achilles stuff and didn't rape people. Whenever I remember that, I wonder why Shakespeare chose that name. *g* (...also, I now have a mental image of centaur!Chiron and Midsummer!Demetrius. Er.) Also, "sweetie-pie" AHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA.

...I happen to like curly hair and glasses, so there! And isn't college where everyone looks weird, usually on purpose? Silly Nurse 2. :P

[danica-enjolras.livejournal.com]

Your family is Shakespeare!crack love...*envies*

And Nurse 2 must only have taste in her mouth.

[silverdragon262.livejournal.com]

Like Lillie said, Chiron was the one single centaur who survived when the other centaurs drank and raped themselves into extinction. It's also a moon of Saturn that doesn't exist, which I find quite funny. And oooh, edited to mention that there's one named Epimetheus, too. It's cute.

HELLO. WHO TOLD YOU NOT TO GO TO WORK? ZARA DID. WHO WAS RIGHT? ZARA WAS. :D TAKE NOTE.

XD Hello, bad advice to sixteen year olds. Sweetheart, if you ever want to change your look, you're going to do it because it's something you want, and that's the way it's supposed to be. And obviously the nurse missed this, but one of the really good things about college (at least city colleges) is that you can dress however you want (like whatever you want, read or watch or think or love whatever you want), and you'll fit in somewhere; my highschool was like that, too, but that may be because of having 2500 people attending. But hey, I dress like a badly dressed boy and routinely wear whatever's less wrinkled from the floor, so I'd really hate to meet that woman.

I have something to show youuuu.

[tomecatti.livejournal.com]

Oh, Soujin ;_; You're quite pretty! and i like your glasses. i'm not sure if i've ever seen you without, but i imagine you're one of those few who would look odd without them. And your clothes are fine! 'least, the ones in picspams are. Nurse 2 is obviously stupid. don't take it to heart, m'dear.

[anima-mecanique.livejournal.com]

......that nurse is INSANELY presumptuous. She reminds me of the time some random frat boys slowed down in their car to tell me that my (top) hat looked stupid. I laugh about it now, but it bothered me even though I really didn't care about the opinions of a bunch of dumb frat boys.

I know it's hard, and crap like that really needles at the old psyche, but...try not to listen to her. In the long run, dressing how YOU want to dress and really liking what you wear is much better than fitting in. Knowing that you're not following the herd is awfully confidence-building.

(Hahahah, goth!Soujin...la, you would look cute in a goth loli dress, though. You have the curls for it :D)