"I Wish I Could Fly From This Building, From This Wall..."

[psalm_onethirtyone]

To-day wins at the best conversation ever.

Soujin: So, I gave Joyce her list of Shakespeare names, but she lost them. It's probably for the best. They're so she can pick a name for her new puppy, and I definitely put Chiron on the list.
Mum: Chiron?
Soujin: Yis. One of the boys from Titus Andronicus. He rapes Lavinia and then cuts off her hands and her tongue.
Mum: ...Great.
Dad: Isn't Chiron a centaur?
Soujin: Shakespeare likes to steal names--
Mum: Centaurs raped people.
Waen: They didn't cut bits off them.
Soujin: IN ANY CASE. Saturninus was also on the list.
Waen: That's just stupid. Who'd name a puppy Saturninus?
Soujin: The same woman who thought Rosencrantz was a good name.
Waen: Yeah, but people actually know who Rosencrantz is. If Rosencrantz were Saturninus, then she could name it Saturninus.
Soujin: I see it all now. SATURNINUS AND GUILDENSTERN ARE DEAD.
Mum: Not the same ring.
Soujin: Definitely not.
Dad: You know, Titus just isn't relevant any more.
Mum: ...Right. Yes. Sweeney Todd just stole its fanbase.
Soujin: Guys...
Waen: I'm eating dinner, hello.
Soujin: You know what would be awesome? If she named the puppy Chiron and then called it sweetie-pie.
Waen: EATING. DINNER.

My foot hates me to-day, because lo and behold I went to work, and stood on it for four or five hours, and now it is draining again. >_> My sock was all wet. As a result, I was not allowed to go to the library picnic for people who work at the library, and so I sulked, alas.

Also, one of the nurses at work resulted in another conversation:

Nurse 1: *is feeding Gayle supper*
Soujin: Hi!
Gayle: ^___^ Hi!
Nurse 1: Hi, there.
Nurse 2: *flings self into room* ROMAINE SPAT ON ME.
Soujin: ...Yes. She does that.
Nurse 2: NOT ON ME, SHE DOESN'T.
Gayle: You have to understand what kind of people you're working with...
Nurse 2: Yeah, I understand, but I ain't taking that from anybody. I told her don't she dare do that. She spit on me! Can you believe that?
Nurse 1: *makes placating noises*
Nurse 2: Anyway, I'm okay. I'm having a good day. I'm pretty zen to-day. I'm not letting anybody piss me off. Except some of my co-workers are.
Soujin: ^^;;; I know, I was one of them, right? I bothered you earlier...
Nurse 2: YEAH, YOU DID. --Honey, are you goth?
Soujin: *is wearing a long brown blouse, the tiered blue skirt, and the sparkly blue earrings* ...No?
Nurse 2: Are you sure?
Gayle: What's goth?
Nurse 2: It's, like, you're dark.
Soujin: You have a tortured soul and try to dress to express.
Gayle: ...wtf.
Soujin: In any case. Not goth.
Nurse 2: Hippie?
Soujin: ...No. ^^
Nurse 2: You know what, honey, you could be really pretty. Now, don't take this wrong, I'm not being mean. I'm just saying. You need a makeover, seriously. Like that one TV show, what's it called?
Gayle: What Not to Wear.
Nurse 2: YEAH. That's the one! You should be on that show! Man, you straighten your hair, get some contacts, you could be--woo!
Soujin: ^^;;;; I like my curls.
Nurse 2: Maybe now, but honey, if you wanna look good, you need to do something about yourself! Do you have a social life? What school do you go to?
Soujin: Homeschooled! ^_^
Nurse 2: I CAN TELL! You have no social life, do you? I bet you don't talk to anybody. You got this shell around you, I can tell. Honey, you need to break through that glass! Are you going to college?
Soujin: ^___^! Pre-med.
Nurse 2: Oh, honey, you can't do that the way you are now. You gotta talk to people.
Soujin: I'm hoping to be a geriatric or stoma surgeon. ^_^ Hopefully I won't have to talk to anybody! They'll be under anesthesia the whole time!
Nurse 2: It is not just old people who go to pre-med school. You need to change, big-time, or you're gonna die in college. Now, I'm not psychic--I don't believe in none of that shit, trust me, magic and psychic and all that stuff, but I know you are gonna realise what you need to do, and get yourself a makeover, and you'll go way far, honey.
Soujin: ...
Nurse 1: *has slipped out of the room halfway through all this*
Nurse 2: 'Bye, Gayle! I'm gonna go do some of those call-lights now!
Soujin: ...
Gayle: ^____^ Geriatric surgeon, huh? You'd better stop biting your fingernails.
Soujin: ...May I go home, please?

The worst part is that now I'm worrying about my clothes. What Not to Wear? ;____________;

Comments

[tomecatti.livejournal.com]

Actually, clothes are supposed to protect your body from the elements. But they're better if they're fun!

[gileonnen.livejournal.com]

Agreed on the elements-protection thing--although I would just like to state that if it's not big and flippy and able to be jury-rigged into a sail on short notice, it doesn't belong on my lower half. Skirts and gaucho pants for the win. XD