Soujin (![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png)
psalm_onethirtyone) wrote2007-04-02 10:22 pm
psalm_onethirtyone) wrote2007-04-02 10:22 pm
Entry tags:
"Look for the Girl with the Broken Smile..."
I will apologise to everyone out of hand for how much I have failed remarkably at answering comments, keeping up correspondence, and all the other basic tenets of relationships. With that in mind, then.
Possibly everybody imaginable has yelled at me to-day. And I am--tired. And very tired of doing everything wrong. And everyone at work was mad at me, mostly because I was intensely stupid and did things upside-downly, and my chemistry class is awful, and I went to get a job app at the Sled Works and it was closed, and I know that is pathetic, but it was totally not the way it was supposed to go and I cried. And then I squished Mum's cocoanut egg by mistake, and cried some more.
Which--I mean, the thing is, everything I've done wrong to-day, every time I got yelled at, it was totally my fault and because I was being an idiot. I have no opportunity for righteous indignation. I have nothing to show for to-day except that I have failed utterly in everything I attempted to do, and I want to do it over, except I do not even want to begin to have this day over, and I am frustrated because this is all trivial and pathetic, and everyone will be sympathetic when what I really want is to be stoned with bricks. And it wasn't even that bad. I met Waen's new friend, and she's a really wonderful girl. <3 And I was the only person who turned in my homework in chem this week, and I got to the gym, and I had fun at work when I wasn't being dumb, and, you know, there have been worse days, and a thousand people who have worse days all the time.
In conclusion, I am self-pitying, obnoxious, stupid, and I suck. Also I still haven't finished chapter fourteen.
Possibly everybody imaginable has yelled at me to-day. And I am--tired. And very tired of doing everything wrong. And everyone at work was mad at me, mostly because I was intensely stupid and did things upside-downly, and my chemistry class is awful, and I went to get a job app at the Sled Works and it was closed, and I know that is pathetic, but it was totally not the way it was supposed to go and I cried. And then I squished Mum's cocoanut egg by mistake, and cried some more.
Which--I mean, the thing is, everything I've done wrong to-day, every time I got yelled at, it was totally my fault and because I was being an idiot. I have no opportunity for righteous indignation. I have nothing to show for to-day except that I have failed utterly in everything I attempted to do, and I want to do it over, except I do not even want to begin to have this day over, and I am frustrated because this is all trivial and pathetic, and everyone will be sympathetic when what I really want is to be stoned with bricks. And it wasn't even that bad. I met Waen's new friend, and she's a really wonderful girl. <3 And I was the only person who turned in my homework in chem this week, and I got to the gym, and I had fun at work when I wasn't being dumb, and, you know, there have been worse days, and a thousand people who have worse days all the time.
In conclusion, I am self-pitying, obnoxious, stupid, and I suck. Also I still haven't finished chapter fourteen.
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