"Look for the Girl with the Broken Smile..."

[psalm_onethirtyone]

I will apologise to everyone out of hand for how much I have failed remarkably at answering comments, keeping up correspondence, and all the other basic tenets of relationships. With that in mind, then.

Possibly everybody imaginable has yelled at me to-day. And I am--tired. And very tired of doing everything wrong. And everyone at work was mad at me, mostly because I was intensely stupid and did things upside-downly, and my chemistry class is awful, and I went to get a job app at the Sled Works and it was closed, and I know that is pathetic, but it was totally not the way it was supposed to go and I cried. And then I squished Mum's cocoanut egg by mistake, and cried some more.

Which--I mean, the thing is, everything I've done wrong to-day, every time I got yelled at, it was totally my fault and because I was being an idiot. I have no opportunity for righteous indignation. I have nothing to show for to-day except that I have failed utterly in everything I attempted to do, and I want to do it over, except I do not even want to begin to have this day over, and I am frustrated because this is all trivial and pathetic, and everyone will be sympathetic when what I really want is to be stoned with bricks. And it wasn't even that bad. I met Waen's new friend, and she's a really wonderful girl. <3 And I was the only person who turned in my homework in chem this week, and I got to the gym, and I had fun at work when I wasn't being dumb, and, you know, there have been worse days, and a thousand people who have worse days all the time.

In conclusion, I am self-pitying, obnoxious, stupid, and I suck. Also I still haven't finished chapter fourteen.

Comments

[gileonnen.livejournal.com]

... lady, when you go to see a counselor, could you bring this journal entry? That might be a good idea. Meanwhile, yes, I am going to be sympathetic, and I am not going to stone you with bricks. *loves* You do not suck. You're amazing, and loved.

[rainbowjehan.livejournal.com]

...Is it that bad? It's just whining. --*hides*

[gileonnen.livejournal.com]

"I am self-pitying, obnoxious, stupid, and I suck" sounds pretty bad to me, lady, although I'm not an expert. *hugs*

[tomecatti.livejournal.com]

You do not suck, you are not stupid, and you are especially not obnoxious. You are self-pitying, but, we've all got our flaws. I know you don't want sympathy, so i won't express it... But you certainly do not deserve to nor should you be stoned with bricks. I love you. If you need anything, call if you want?

[rainbowjehan.livejournal.com]

Thanks. ♥

[tomecatti.livejournal.com]

Any any any time. I mean it.

[reconditarmonia.livejournal.com]

Soujin. You are wonderful and do not suck at all. Plz to see it. *lovesonmuchly*

[rainbowjehan.livejournal.com]

Okay, to-day I really do suck. I really do. Maybe not all the time, but I have done everything wrong to-day. It's just--one of those days.

[reconditarmonia.livejournal.com]

Nooooo you don't. Even if it wasn't a good day it doesn't mean you suck. Just a bad day, that's all. One of those days. *snug*

[bewareofitalics]

Hey. Loveyou. *snuggles*

[rainbowjehan.livejournal.com]

You, too. ♥

[erinpuff]

*hugs* You don't suck. I feel like that sometimes too, and you always tell me I don't suck, and if I don't, it probably means you don't either.

...that made very little sense. Point is, you don't suck or fail or any of that. So there.

[rainbowjehan.livejournal.com]

*clings* I love you.

[nowgoesquickly.livejournal.com]

*A million warm hugs*

♥ ♥ ♥ ♥ ♥

[rainbowjehan.livejournal.com]

*loves and sinksintothem*

[theatre-angel.livejournal.com]

You are the most brilliant girl I've ever known. We all have bad days. ♥

[rainbowjehan.livejournal.com]

Shhh. *loves*

[josiana.livejournal.com]

*snuggles* ;___; Stoning with bricks is very inhumane.

[rainbowjehan.livejournal.com]

But effective!

[josiana.livejournal.com]

Not as effective as guillotining. You could just be knocked out. ;___; And besides, it's so painful.

[prouvairesylvie.livejournal.com]

Soujin? Are you okay? You know that stuff isn't true, right? You are kind, patient, funny, creative: I could go on... but the point is none of these equal sucking, stupidness, or any of that. Soujin a total idiot? Perish the thought!! Everybody has down-days and they will be painful, but you need to remember that it will pass by soon, and as seen by the masses if sympathetic comments on your journal, you have a lot of people who might not know you very well, but because your kindness, wonderfully strange sense of humor, and talent with the written word, a lot of people care about you. Okay? *hugs*

[rainbowjehan.livejournal.com]

You--are so sweet, and so good to me, and. Gah. *hugsonto*

[prouvairesylvie.livejournal.com]

Well, it's not like it's more than you deserve! Feeling better today, please? *hugs back*

[silverdragon262.livejournal.com]

*stones with bricks~!*

*... felt bricks*

*... with marshmallows inside*

*... blue marshmallows*

[rainbowjehan.livejournal.com]

*...melts into a tiny puddle at thy feet*

I miss you. I love you.