Soujin (![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png)
psalm_onethirtyone) wrote2009-02-12 08:39 am
psalm_onethirtyone) wrote2009-02-12 08:39 am
Entry tags:
"Go Ahead With Your Own Life, Leave Me Alone..."
I feel really guilty because I'm not socialising with people online ... at all, frankly, and it's because I'm exhausted and stressed out (I sleep in my clothes now, okay, I'm too tired to bother getting undressed, that is pathetic). I don't sleep enough, I just barely scrape by at getting everything done, and, this makes me sad, I'm not currently enjoying any of my (six) classes. Except maybe religion. Which apparently doesn't bother some people, but for me it really ruins the whole experience.
I'm just. So. tired. I was crying last night at Dani, and just kept thinking, "My God, I am so tired I don't even want to be crying, the amount of energy this takes is absolutely exhausting," and that's terrible. Dr. Prince of Denmark wants to up my meds, he's actually thinking of doing that next week, which doesn't make me happy--I'm sure this is just some kind of weird personal mindtrick, but every time my dosage is upped I feel like I'm "bad" (just as when it goes down, I'm being "good"!) which is kind of nonlogical but nevertheless pretty much the way I feel about it.
I think I wouldn't even be so unhappy if I just got some sleep and had some time to myself to calm down? But I really don't see that opportunity arising, so I will continue to cry and panic and fail at existing ever, basically, is what I think is going to happen.
On a fun note, wind speed to-day is sixty mph. I am going to have FUN riding my bike around campus. >:D
I'm just. So. tired. I was crying last night at Dani, and just kept thinking, "My God, I am so tired I don't even want to be crying, the amount of energy this takes is absolutely exhausting," and that's terrible. Dr. Prince of Denmark wants to up my meds, he's actually thinking of doing that next week, which doesn't make me happy--I'm sure this is just some kind of weird personal mindtrick, but every time my dosage is upped I feel like I'm "bad" (just as when it goes down, I'm being "good"!) which is kind of nonlogical but nevertheless pretty much the way I feel about it.
I think I wouldn't even be so unhappy if I just got some sleep and had some time to myself to calm down? But I really don't see that opportunity arising, so I will continue to cry and panic and fail at existing ever, basically, is what I think is going to happen.
On a fun note, wind speed to-day is sixty mph. I am going to have FUN riding my bike around campus. >:D
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