"It is Not Too Far From Here..."

[psalm_onethirtyone]

Just me being thinky re: desperatefans, but. My female socks, and why they will never get pregnant, or, why to keep Soujin from getting bored at night.

russet_goddess. This is easiest. Stop eating and your period goes away. Stop eating long enough and it never comes back. Zara can't have children.

sixpearls. Neither can Mary; she's barren.

fair_hero. Hero isn't sexually active yet, because she isn't married! She and Don John might, in fact, have children at some point, but they would be really unobtrusive children. Don John does that.

queen_oracle. Mickle does not get half enough action. That is okay, because she's not all that interested, most of the time.

pretty_weena. So Weena probably actually has had any number of children in the past, but she only mates with her own kind, and there aren't any of those on DF. Also she looks like she's ten and thinks like she's five. This tends to be offputting.

techwizard. Dairine is eleven.

inglewoodblues. Ragnelle has three canonical children and that is quite enough, thank you. There's the off chance that she also knows magical birth control methods, but she's telling me this is none of anybody's business, so I will stop now.

Comments

[notsincecarrie.livejournal.com]

Wait, what about Perry?

[false-kyllikki.livejournal.com]

Kyllikki is actually really surprised that she hadn't had any children before her husband cast her out. She had done everything a wife ought to, but she had never borne a child.

[abnormal-sea.livejournal.com]

Yeah... Canon!Helen is a baby making machine. At least fourteen children by the third book. I hope she discovers birth control or something but seeing as how she's uber-Catholic I doubt it. Scary fictional, pseudo-mythological, thinly veiled representations of the Ukrainian steppe.

[snowyofthenight.livejournal.com]

I think I'm just morally opposed to DF socks getting pregnant. I don't know why. XD

[nowgoesquickly.livejournal.com]

I'm very confused.

See, I was thinking socks as in . . . the garments worn on feet, beneath shoes. But these are not those kinds of socks. Do explain, please.

[silverdragon262.livejournal.com]

BUT WHAT ABOUT HORATIO.

[anima-mecanique.livejournal.com]

I never had any female socks over there >_>

Are you still playing DF? How's it?

[holyschist.livejournal.com]

Have I ever mentioned how much Hero/Don John BREAKS MY BRAIN?

[canadabear.livejournal.com]

Having done a pregnancy plot in RP, you are indeed a wise, wise woman.

*is very happy to have no puppets who can have children now*

Apropos of nothing

[kateorman.livejournal.com]

I HAS A POSTCARD

Squeee!!! Thank you so much for thinking of me!

[reconditarmonia.livejournal.com]

Regan just doesn't like people, and on the rare occasion that she is nice, doesn't want kids because she doesn't think she'd like them. Also, family issues. All my other socks are male.

[tomecatti.livejournal.com]

I have not at any point since beginning reading this post considered making a highly inappropriate joke about pretty_weena's off-puttingness to a certain variety of sexual creature.

[tinyammmy]

*flails* I hope I did not traumatize you, lady, with my evil thoughts of making Cimorene, Percy and Gaheris' collective lives a bigger mess. Though Cimorene does have a son in canon, so I suppose she could, theoretically. Or her husband and/or son could show up in DF, and wouldn't THAT be a lovely mess. But I love your socks too much to traumatize them horribly. *wibbles a bit*

Molly was pregnant in canon anyway, and half my socks pregnant at once would just be silly.

(Let's try proper html, shall we?)