"It is Not Too Far From Here..."

[psalm_onethirtyone]

Just me being thinky re: desperatefans, but. My female socks, and why they will never get pregnant, or, why to keep Soujin from getting bored at night.

russet_goddess. This is easiest. Stop eating and your period goes away. Stop eating long enough and it never comes back. Zara can't have children.

sixpearls. Neither can Mary; she's barren.

fair_hero. Hero isn't sexually active yet, because she isn't married! She and Don John might, in fact, have children at some point, but they would be really unobtrusive children. Don John does that.

queen_oracle. Mickle does not get half enough action. That is okay, because she's not all that interested, most of the time.

pretty_weena. So Weena probably actually has had any number of children in the past, but she only mates with her own kind, and there aren't any of those on DF. Also she looks like she's ten and thinks like she's five. This tends to be offputting.

techwizard. Dairine is eleven.

inglewoodblues. Ragnelle has three canonical children and that is quite enough, thank you. There's the off chance that she also knows magical birth control methods, but she's telling me this is none of anybody's business, so I will stop now.

Comments

[notsincecarrie.livejournal.com]

Such a pity. Imagine, little Arthurs and Perrys running around!

...maybe it's not such a pity.

[rainbowjehan.livejournal.com]

...see, yeah, that was pretty much my thought process.

[notsincecarrie.livejournal.com]

Little Jameses, now. Those might be nice. But there would always be a chance they'd turn out like John.

[rainbowjehan.livejournal.com]

Horrific thought.

[notsincecarrie.livejournal.com]

Little Bobbys and Gregorys...?

[rainbowjehan.livejournal.com]

Moderately better.

[john-ofdarkness.livejournal.com]

I object to the notion that the would-be mutilator of my boyfriend is preferable to me.

[notsincecarrie.livejournal.com]

The difference is that Gregory isn't like that all the time. No offense.

[john-ofdarkness.livejournal.com]

N-no, h-h-he is ssimply like. Um. That, at unp-p-predictable intervals. *smirks* You can rely on my behaviour.

[notsincecarrie.livejournal.com]

That was uncalled for.

[john-ofdarkness.livejournal.com]

Forgive me for being less than charitable--did you simply forget the attempted mutilation? Or do you overlook it simply because he's not a habitual maimer?

[silverdragon262.livejournal.com]

Oh, you know little Arthurs would be adorable.

And you know Perry would think so, too. Sekritly.

[notsincecarrie.livejournal.com]

I'm all for little Arthurs. It's the Perrys that would be terrifying.

[silverdragon262.livejournal.com]

A disposition that only Arthur could love...?

[notsincecarrie.livejournal.com]

Exactly. Unless I could get them into community theater at a very early age...

[silverdragon262.livejournal.com]

And you could! You're their Uncle Buzz, they'd do anything for you.

[notsincecarrie.livejournal.com]

Anything? *...this is totally a song cue. in case you don't know Oliver! (which was just typoed as Olivier!), your line is, "Anything...fooooor...yooooooooou!" ...numbers of vowels may vary. ;)*

[rainbowjehan.livejournal.com]

Perry says he WOULD NOT. SHUT UP.

[abigqueen.livejournal.com]

Perry's just a big softie, when you really get to know him.

[somany-stars.livejournal.com]

The fuck I am.

[abigqueen.livejournal.com]

Excuse me. I think I would know.

[somany-stars.livejournal.com]

You would not.

[abigqueen.livejournal.com]

Oh, because I only married you.

[somany-stars.livejournal.com]

That's because you have terrible judgement.

[abigqueen.livejournal.com]

You'd be surprised how many times people say that to me.