"I am Exactly What I am..."

[psalm_onethirtyone]

Oh man, I am so unbelievably depressed right now. It's honestly been months since I felt this crushingly soullessly despairing. My whole insides feel like they got scooped out with one of those little metal half-moons you use to get the seeds out of pumpkins.

I've spent most of the last two days crying. Also, I really don't think I'm smart enough to be trying to do this whole pre-med thing. I think I need to suck it up and admit that I might not be as happy being, you know, an English teacher, but at least I'd be competent at it.

I really don't want to go to lab to-morrow. The boy who just joined our lap group calls me 'the crazy girl', and even Alice's being so awesome does not overcome the fact that he makes me feel like crawling under a rock and staying there for-ever. I am so glad there are only three weeks of lab left; it means I don't have to kill myself with a broken gel tray if I can just make it that long.

Maybe Alice and I will have other classes together in the spring. I should find out what her POE is.

In the meantime, I think I'd better go to bed, because I am just about completely out of cope for this week, and that's a pure fact.

Comments

[tiamatschild.livejournal.com]

*huuuuuuuuuugs*

[tiamatschild.livejournal.com]

By which I mean: It won't hurt anything if you keep working at it. Everything you have this semester is stuff it will be good to have no matter what you later decide to do. The semester's not half over yet, and you're still adjusting to a college work load. this probably a bad time to decide you're not clever enough to do something you've wanted for a really long time. *holds*

Also, that boy is rude and stupid. It is totally okay to tell him so. Well, okay, the stupid bit is a bit rude, but he is being inappropriate for class.

D: D: D:

[mhari.livejournal.com]

Hallo, I am here to annihilate your lab boy with a Two By Four of Justice. >:| STFU, assface.

I love you to tiny pieces.

Re: D: D: D:

[reconditarmonia.livejournal.com]

I'll lend you a clue-bat too if you like, Mlle. (I have a real one. It is made of paper and has trivia facts on it. Actually it's a sign for Academic Team which when rolled up acts as a clue-bat, but whatever.)

*snuggles teh Soujin ♥*

[peridium.livejournal.com]

*wraps you in hugs and warm blankets and soothing things*

[gileonnen.livejournal.com]

*hugs tightly* Be well, lady. You've filled me with joy over these past two days--know that, at least?

[fan-of-miggie.livejournal.com]

Aw, man...I know how you feel. I'm planning on going into pre-med, but I'm not doing so hot in Biology right now...it sucks. Anyway...I hope things get better for you soon...have faith in yourself!

~*Kelsey*~

[little-lady-d.livejournal.com]

*just holds*

[lokogato.livejournal.com]

'Demoiselle, I don't know if this helps, but, just. Whenever I read your posts about what you are studying, what you are learning, and what you aspire to do with that knowledge, I just hope that every doctor I ever see -- and every doctor that my mother sees, and she's seen many -- was like you in pre-med. Because you do love what you are learning, and you do love helping people. And you do love people, and that's the best and most you can hope to have from someone who is supposed to help you.

And even if you decide to become an English teacher, you'd be the best teacher ever.

And you inspire me.

Just so you know. I know I haven't been commenting a lot recently -- because I fail orz -- but I just wanted you to know. ♥

[snowyofthenight.livejournal.com]

♥

[tomecatti.livejournal.com]

You're certainly smart enough to be trying it. Because you are a brilliant woman. I wouldn't be surprised if his calling you "the crazy girl" were his clumsy attempt to bond, or even flirt, with you. And if he does mean it to insult you, he's just a jerk.

<3 Love you, Soujin.

[ewein2412]

what they said! and what I always say. hang in there. be strong. You ARE strong. ♥♥♥

[softerthansound.livejournal.com]

Fuck that motherfucker, what right does he have to be a cruelly judgmental specimen of the less competent sex? If you pour a beaker full of acid on him by accident at some point, I will provide you with an alibi, an escape plan, and cookies.

[zero_pixel_count]

*hearts* Oh, sweetheart...

[kateorman.livejournal.com]

What are you thinking? Kill him with the broken gel tray!

srsly, he's probably crushing on you.

[rainbowjehan.livejournal.com]

No, trust me, he's not. He's being outright malicious.

[kateorman.livejournal.com]

DO HORRIBLE EXPERIMENTS ON HIM

[rainbowjehan.livejournal.com]

I DUN WANNA GET KICKED OUT OF SCHOOL.

[kateorman.livejournal.com]

SECRETLY






OBVS

[rainbowjehan.livejournal.com]

I AM BAD A SEKRITS. :(