"I Don't Even Understand..."

[psalm_onethirtyone]

Happy birthday, Mr. Verne. ♥

(I no longer exist as of to-night. nope. nothin'.)

(--oh, right. and for whatever reason, I agreed to go to the homeschool winter formal. I shall stand around in a dress that is beautiful and makes me want to cry because I feel that I make it ugly; I will be all by myself and know no one, or else know a few people, but not well enough to be comfortable, and after a very short period of time naturally will hide in the bathroom sobbing; and will either eat too much or not at all, both of which will result in more sobbing. Someone tell me what on earth makes me pay for emotional trauma.)

Comments

[gileonnen.livejournal.com]

*hugs you close, closecloseclose* First, I love you, lady, and I hope that you will understand that you're lovely someday soon.

Second, what is this about not existing?

[rainbowjehan.livejournal.com]

*clingsclose* It won't be soon enough for me. ^^

Ehhh, there is so. much. to. do. I think I'm going insane inside my head.

[gileonnen.livejournal.com]

But maybe soon, nonetheless--!

Is the insanity and the busy-ness connected, or are they separate?

[rainbowjehan.livejournal.com]

Maybe--!

Mostly connected. I have so much to finish and so much to begin, and so much to accomplish and so much to learn not to fail at, and it all wants to be done at once, and, more than that, it all needs to be done at once, and it makes me feel like I can't breath sometimes, and then I just want to stop Being.

[gileonnen.livejournal.com]

Maybe it would help to think of it less as a mass of things that all need to be done at once, and more as a finite number of things that you can put on a list and parcel out for certain days? I don't know if that would help you, but it always helps me a tremendous amount--and it makes me more willing to Be, to see that I don't always have to Do as well.

[rainbowjehan.livejournal.com]

I could try that--

[gileonnen.livejournal.com]

*snuggles* Thank you, lady.

[rainbowjehan.livejournal.com]

♥