"Maybe I'll Just Run Away..."

[psalm_onethirtyone]

Dear Livejournal,

A few weeks ago I decided to ask out a very cute boy in my French class. He was pretty sweet and he wears sweater vests unironically, which made him very attractive to me. I asked him if he would go to a movie with me. He said yes.

He then proceeded not to talk to me for a week. Liz and I decided I had made him nervous by asking him out, so when I saw him again I cornered him and asked him whether it wouldn't be nice to have dinner before the movie so we could talk to each other and get to know each other better. He agreed that that might be nice, then told me he wanted to take things very slow because his last girlfriend had "scarred" him. I agreed. I told him to let me know what movie he'd like to go to.

He then proceeded not to e-mail me or in any way contact me. So I sent him an e-mail telling him I thought maybe he had felt pressured into the date and if that were the case I completely understood and it would be okay with me to call it off. I wanted to make sure he knew that I wasn't going to be offended if he wasn't okay with the idea of going on a date, even a low-key one.

He never answered, so I assumed the answer was no and the evening we had planned to go out passed by. I ended up hiding in Shawn's room with Liz and Shawn and Dani, watching a movie and reassuring myself that I had handled the situation as well as possible.

This afternoon, he sent me the following e-mail: "we never went on that "date" like last weekend, then you started ignoring me in class. I mean you didn't even try to talk to me about it.

Well I'm at my home right now, and am then headed to California, so we won't see each other for a while, but if you still want to drop me a line next semester."

I feel that I am being reprimanded for something that wasn't my fault, however rational or irrational that feeling may be. I decided to write him back asking whether he had gotten my original e-mail, and suggested that there might have been a miscommunication. He hasn't replied yet.

I'm starting to think this whole "boys" thing may be a silly idea.

Comments

[rainbowjehan.livejournal.com]

The school e-mail doesn't actually /have/ a spam filter. It's really annoying. But, uh. I don't know his number, and, as he said, he's already home. I think he basically overlooked my e-mail completely.

Pretty much.

[holyschist.livejournal.com]

Weird! Ugh, people who gloss over emails or assume I am SHUNNING them because my spam filter gets overzealous drive me bonkers.

That's too bad.

[rainbowjehan.livejournal.com]

I don't really think that's the problem here. The school e-mail is horrifyingly reliable.

[holyschist.livejournal.com]

Well, the glossing over and then sending you grumpy emails probably is. I mean, he probably should have checked back through his inbox first, you know?

[rainbowjehan.livejournal.com]

idk what's going on, it's just--even if he never got my e-mail, I'd still expect something that's not "YOU CAUSED A PROBLEM THAT I WON'T ADDRESS UNTIL I'M NOT AROUND FOR YOU TO FIX IT, THEN I'LL POINT MY FINGER AT YOU AND HOPE YOU FEEL GUILTY." If he had sent me the same e-mail three days ago I wouldn't be nearly as upset, but he's had six or seven opportunities to talk to me since the date night. He chose not to bring this up until he's out of state. That's what I think is the jerk move.

[holyschist.livejournal.com]

Yeah, it's really bizarre and crappy. Perhaps it is a passive-aggressive way of saying "I don't want to deal!"

[rainbowjehan.livejournal.com]

So! The end result is that I feel resentful more than anything else, and definitely do not want to pursue a relationship.