"Maybe I'll Just Run Away..."

[psalm_onethirtyone]

Dear Livejournal,

A few weeks ago I decided to ask out a very cute boy in my French class. He was pretty sweet and he wears sweater vests unironically, which made him very attractive to me. I asked him if he would go to a movie with me. He said yes.

He then proceeded not to talk to me for a week. Liz and I decided I had made him nervous by asking him out, so when I saw him again I cornered him and asked him whether it wouldn't be nice to have dinner before the movie so we could talk to each other and get to know each other better. He agreed that that might be nice, then told me he wanted to take things very slow because his last girlfriend had "scarred" him. I agreed. I told him to let me know what movie he'd like to go to.

He then proceeded not to e-mail me or in any way contact me. So I sent him an e-mail telling him I thought maybe he had felt pressured into the date and if that were the case I completely understood and it would be okay with me to call it off. I wanted to make sure he knew that I wasn't going to be offended if he wasn't okay with the idea of going on a date, even a low-key one.

He never answered, so I assumed the answer was no and the evening we had planned to go out passed by. I ended up hiding in Shawn's room with Liz and Shawn and Dani, watching a movie and reassuring myself that I had handled the situation as well as possible.

This afternoon, he sent me the following e-mail: "we never went on that "date" like last weekend, then you started ignoring me in class. I mean you didn't even try to talk to me about it.

Well I'm at my home right now, and am then headed to California, so we won't see each other for a while, but if you still want to drop me a line next semester."

I feel that I am being reprimanded for something that wasn't my fault, however rational or irrational that feeling may be. I decided to write him back asking whether he had gotten my original e-mail, and suggested that there might have been a miscommunication. He hasn't replied yet.

I'm starting to think this whole "boys" thing may be a silly idea.

Comments

[gileonnen.livejournal.com]

Possibly this boy was a silly idea. You're absolutely right about handling the situation as well as possible, and his whole scare-quotes-around-"date" thing makes him sound like he has possibly got more scarring than is good for you to handle. *hugs*

[rainbowjehan.livejournal.com]

I wasn't trying to ignore him, I was trying to give him space. -_- Anyway, it's kind of a moot point by now, as he has bothered me past wanting to go out with him--I just want to get this cleared up.

[holyschist.livejournal.com]

I have a feeling he doesn't know how to check his spam filter and that you somehow got flagged as spam. I would suggest calling him or speaking to him in person and asking if he's ever received any of your emails--if not, tell him to check his spam filter and add you to his address book.

He does seem to have some strange issues, though, and might not be the best dating material.

[rainbowjehan.livejournal.com]

The school e-mail doesn't actually /have/ a spam filter. It's really annoying. But, uh. I don't know his number, and, as he said, he's already home. I think he basically overlooked my e-mail completely.

Pretty much.

[holyschist.livejournal.com]

Weird! Ugh, people who gloss over emails or assume I am SHUNNING them because my spam filter gets overzealous drive me bonkers.

That's too bad.

[rainbowjehan.livejournal.com]

I don't really think that's the problem here. The school e-mail is horrifyingly reliable.

[holyschist.livejournal.com]

Well, the glossing over and then sending you grumpy emails probably is. I mean, he probably should have checked back through his inbox first, you know?

[rainbowjehan.livejournal.com]

idk what's going on, it's just--even if he never got my e-mail, I'd still expect something that's not "YOU CAUSED A PROBLEM THAT I WON'T ADDRESS UNTIL I'M NOT AROUND FOR YOU TO FIX IT, THEN I'LL POINT MY FINGER AT YOU AND HOPE YOU FEEL GUILTY." If he had sent me the same e-mail three days ago I wouldn't be nearly as upset, but he's had six or seven opportunities to talk to me since the date night. He chose not to bring this up until he's out of state. That's what I think is the jerk move.

[holyschist.livejournal.com]

Yeah, it's really bizarre and crappy. Perhaps it is a passive-aggressive way of saying "I don't want to deal!"

[rainbowjehan.livejournal.com]

So! The end result is that I feel resentful more than anything else, and definitely do not want to pursue a relationship.

[softerthansound.livejournal.com]

I'm always astounded by the wealth of miscommunication that exists between men and women. Sometimes it's endearing, and you recall just how lovely misunderstandings can be, in that off-key, blundering, crooked smile kind of way. And then other times, most of the time, nearly all the time, you want to kill them all.

[rainbowjehan.livejournal.com]

Yeah pretty much.

[watchcry.livejournal.com]

He sounds a bit blarghy!

[rainbowjehan.livejournal.com]

Tom, blarghy is a very mild word.

[watchcry.livejournal.com]

"A bit" is mild too.

[rainbowjehan.livejournal.com]

True enough.

[reconditarmonia.livejournal.com]

WHAT

[rainbowjehan.livejournal.com]

well thank god SOMEBODY responded the way I feel.

[http://users.livejournal.com/_grayswandir_/]

Ugh. Yeah, your effort was definitely more than sufficient. If he wanted to go out with you, it was at some point incumbent on him to, you know, say something -- whether he got your email or not. And if he did get your email, he's just a jackass. Which is, admittedly, a shame, considering the unironic sweater vests.

Also I'm with gileonnen about the whole scare-quotes-around-"date" business. Maturity rating... not so high. :P

[rainbowjehan.livejournal.com]

He e-mailed back just now and apparently did not get my e-mail, so I will probably explain what was in it, but I feel like I should apologise and I also feel like I should not apologise, and that annoys me too.

Fff boys. Mama claims I am meant for older men. :P

[watchcry.livejournal.com]

You should not apologize! You did everything quite right.

[rainbowjehan.livejournal.com]

I may not. WE WILL SEE.

[tulipmonster.livejournal.com]

That is not just a dick move, it's childish.

[rainbowjehan.livejournal.com]

Dele why do I suck at relationships?

[tulipmonster.livejournal.com]

bb it is quite clear who is doing the failing here, and it ain't you.

[rainbowjehan.livejournal.com]

okay, but why is it every time I try to enter into a relationship fail ensues?

[tulipmonster.livejournal.com]

idkat, i have the same problem :(

[rainbowjehan.livejournal.com]

We should just start dating each other.

[tulipmonster.livejournal.com]

I make a terrible girlfriend!

[rainbowjehan.livejournal.com]

We'd be perfect together!

[josiana.livejournal.com]

Oh dear. :( I'm sorry. This is not at all acceptable behavior on his part, and you should not blame yourself.

[rainbowjehan.livejournal.com]

Boys are awful, the end.

[raanve]

Not you, definitely him. He doesn't know what to do or how to feel about it, and instead of communicating like a rational human, he's pulling this stunt.

I feel that I am being reprimanded for something that wasn't my fault, however rational or irrational that feeling may be.

That feeling is rational.

*hugs*

[rainbowjehan.livejournal.com]

Ugh. It's so passive-aggressive.

[raanve]

It is a douche move FO SHO.

[rainbowjehan.livejournal.com]

<3 thank you.