"Turned His World Upside Down, Turned a King into a Clown..."

[psalm_onethirtyone]

So I have been trying to figure out why I am so incredibly amazingly calm about the fact that I have less than a week to write a twenty-page research paper and it's not even started yet, and realised to-day, with skyerana's help, that I've basically been totally mellowed out since I started on the Celexa. Which I guess is both good and bad, since, you know, on the one hand, totally calm. On the other hand, paper not started.

And I have no intention of starting it to-night, either. SIGH.

I can't believe I finally found a drug that kills my anxiety, just in time for goddamn finals. I'm trying to decide whether I should stop taking it, just for finals week, or play along and try to motivate myself. The psych is gone for the year, so I can't talk to her, little as I wish to do that anyway.

This is immensely stupid.

Comments

[dreamer-easy.livejournal.com]

Celexa was the first antidepressant that worked for me. <3

However: if you Google Celexa lack of motivation, you'll find a lot of stuff. But tbh, your anxiety and depression cause you so much suffering, it can't possibly be worth the trade-off - not to mention the withdrawal. Are there other motives for writing the paper than grinding terror? (I scraped through a maths exam once thanks to a bag of chewing gum. It's true.)

[rainbowjehan.livejournal.com]

It's the first anti-anxiety med I've taken that's both worked and not caused me to turn into a dead thing; Ativan certainly took away my anxiety, but mostly because it took away all my ability to care about anything. So I'm enjoying this sense of normalcy.

But I *am* started to get a little worried about the paper, so. I think to-morrow I might have to do what I sometimes do and turn off the internet? That has helped me in the past.

[dreamer-easy.livejournal.com]

Turning off the net is life's way of getting anything whatsoever done, ever.

[watchcry.livejournal.com]

pretty much yeah.

[rainbowjehan.livejournal.com]

aajfasljfasl now I actually need to DO that. I have a page written, Kate. a page. ;____;

[dreamer-easy.livejournal.com]

*blows up the net*

[rainbowjehan.livejournal.com]

two and a half pages. oh jesus.

[dreamer-easy.livejournal.com]

If I can help in any way, let me know. (Maybe just jot down every point you can think of, rather than trying to put it into prose straight away?)

[rainbowjehan.livejournal.com]

It ended up being a "just sit down and crank it out". I did e-mail it to you, though, I hope you don't mind.

[mhari.livejournal.com]

Perhaps if I SIT ON YOU until you write it? :D

[rainbowjehan.livejournal.com]

Nooooooo! Don't squish me!

[watchcry.livejournal.com]

Please do not stop taking it for finals. That would be a bad bad idea, and you would go nuts. Simply ask for extensions when you need them, like you will on this thing.

[reconditarmonia.livejournal.com]

Agree with this ^

[rainbowjehan.livejournal.com]

Nnnnot gonna. >_> My one friend who's premed suggested cutting the pills in half, which I might try? But we'll see.

[watchcry.livejournal.com]

Thhhhhat might not be the worst idea but it still doesn't sound great. But she's premed.... *hugup*

[rainbowjehan.livejournal.com]

idk, I still haven't gotten around to doing it.

[eremon-lass.livejournal.com]

Oh good, you and I can have an internet paper-party...I have to present the first 4ish pages of a 10ish page paper on Tuesday and while I do have an awesome title (because I had to turn that in), I have no thesis. Woo-hoo!

[rainbowjehan.livejournal.com]

Ewwwww. I don't wannnnna.

I have a thesis... ish? The paper is an analysis of a church conflict, so I have my information, but I need to decide on a framework on which to do the analysis, and I also need to decide on a framework for analysing why the intervention strategy used was helpful. So I kind of have the stuff I need, but I just can't get my shit together to WRITE IT UP.

[josiana.livejournal.com]

Wow, that's pretty awkward timing. :o I don't know, could you try taking a smaller dose until after finals? Because withdrawal could be pretty bad, if you just stop.

But good luck with your paper, in any case. ;_; &hearts

[rainbowjehan.livejournal.com]

That's what my one friend who's pre-med suggested, and I'm thinking I might try it.

Thank youuuu. ♥