"If you were gay, I'd shout hooray!"

Soujin's making muffins, Soujin's making muffins, made of Kashi cereal and applesauce and bananas! Soujin's making muffins, Soujin's making muffins, they smell beautiful and they're healthy, healthy, YAY!

*does the muffin dance*

And I can eat two. Because. Because unlike all other muffins, which are off my diet by a million points, these are two for three points. Muffins, how Soujin has missed the beautiful smell of the banana muffins her Mum used to make.

O, muffins! I sing thy praises! Thou art good in the eyes of God the Father of Baking, and thy presence is sweet in his sight! Thou art made of the holy whole wheat flour, blessed by angelchefs and archangelchefs and by all the company of Baked Goods Heaven, who for-ever sing this hymn to proclaim the glory of thy name:

Yummy yummy yummy Muffins of hot crumbs and joy
Soujin and earth art full of your glory!
Devour in the quickest!
Blessed are they that are made of honey and smell like Love
Devour in the quickest!

And therefore we praise thee! Therefore we adore thee and worship thee! And now, as our Saviour Baking Powder has taught us, we are bold to say--

Our Muffins, who art in the oven,
Hallow'd be thy name
Thy ingredients swell,
thy mufflinliness rise
in the heat to a point of glory
Give us this day our daily muffin fix
and lead us not to curse our diet
but deliver us from rubbery store-bought abominations
For thine is the warmth
and the tastiness
and the in-Soujin's-tummy-ness
Now, and for-ever.

Amen.

The worship would continue, except that the timer's going off. Farewell! I must to my coffee hour!

"If you were queer, I'd still be here!"

Apparently God doesn't like Muffiny Blasphemy. *g* My muffins became crispy on the outside, uncooked on the inside, and smell rather peculiar.

On the plus side, they are assuredly edible and rather yummy, in a gooey sort of way.

I am tired and little bored with myself, and therefore haunting metaquotes, and wishing I had a leetle bit of inspiration.

Of course! Waen and I watched Twenty-Thousand Leagues! We made it into the most slashy, innuendo-filled mess that ever was. *g* It was almost embarrassing, somewhere between the chess-and-pufferfish sex, and Nemo's [in the movie] admission of smearing Ned's diving suit with the mating shark hormones and its ensuing viewer comment chaos; and Sophie and Ned's icky hetero love, and Nemo's obvious offer to Aronnax to become his drag queen wife. :P We were very dreadful. It was far too fun. I shall never recover.

And it has given me inspiration, for my Twenty-Thousand Leagues/Moby-Dick crossover, albeit for a completely different plotline (this plotline, sadly, does not involve either explicit Ahab/Nemo, or whale/giant squid orgies. Because Soujin cannot write that sort of thing, and, despite her pretences, she really is a pathetic innocent). So perhaps I shall see what can be done.

My disclaimer for this post reads something like a very long list of names of persons on this flist who are to blame for Soujin's corruption. It is headed by sparklychibi but certainly includes theatre_angel, petronelle, and quite probably petitecatherine, and somewhere not far from the top metaquotes. Thank you. It was all your fault.

"How Many Ears Must One Man Have Before He Can Hear People Cry...?

Soujin is very sad.

Her mum just came home two hours ago after being at work all day long. She was too busy to talk, and Soujin had trivial little secret things to tell her, but Waen kept taking her and telling her about things, or standing close so that Soujin couldn't tell secrets. Waen also blamed everything that went wrong to-day on Soujin, such as the fact that we're not reading Milton any longer.

Waen has never stopped talking about how much she hates Milton and wishes we'd stop reading him, so I told Da' to-day that if it were possible, couldn't we read something else for Renaissance history, since Waen and I don't like Paradise Lost and aren't enjoying it. Waen immediately shouted out that she didn't mind Paradise Lost at all and doesn't care whether or not we read it, leaving Soujin all by herself to try and explain things to Da'. After he left the room to find something else, Waen said,--

"Never involve me in one of your 'revolutions' again, okay? I don't want to get in trouble."

And it was all Soujin's fault, then. And now we're reading Samuel Pepys, which I don't mind, and Da' doesn't seem upset about; but Waen's still telling Mum that he's very upset and it's my fault for lying and saying that she didn't want to read it and getting her involved.

Soujin is going to cry.

Mum got angry with her for agreeing to walk for the paper with Da' to-morrow, for she says that Soujin will not have time to do schoolwork, despite the fact that Soujin will still be ready at the same time she was every single day until January when it got too cold to walk...! But Mum is angry anyway.

Soujin is scared and lonely-feeling because she's trying to do a new type of exercise that she isn't sure of working, and she doesn't know if she will have lost weight this week because she was trying to eat a little bit more this week than usual (she is supposed to eat twenty points. As a rule, she eats seventeen. The last three weeks, she's eaten from fifteen to sixteen. This week, she went back to seventeen). She is scared of never being beautiful, and she wishes Mum understood and would understand her being scared. It's hard to try new things.

She has worked very hard not to complain about her diet or talk about it all week long because she knows that Waen hates it and it makes Waen angry and shouting at her. She just mentioned it to-night, and Waen got angry and disgusted. Waen did not even notice that Soujin has not talked about it all week long.

Soujin wanted to have her picture taken to-day. She was feeling rather confident, and wanted a picture. She hasn't had a picture in two months.

Now she just rather wants a hug. And she is certainly crying.

She thinks she will go to bed early. She has to get up very, very early if she wants to change around her routine so that she won't upset Mum by being late to get to schoolwork. She doesn't want to be bad. She doesn't mean to be, she really doesn't.

Oh.

"Loving One Who Loves You..."

I want to be ill.

I am waiting to be ill.

Please. Really. Please. I need to be ill. I want it more than anything right now.

Please yet it happen.

Please?

Ill. Very ill. In bed with a fever for a week ill. Let me have to stay home from work and stay in my bed and be allowed to sleep past six-forty five and not have to get up every single morning to treadmill. Let me not have to be scared, let me not have to worry about all the horrible, horrible things I have to do, all sixty-eight thousand hundred of them.

Let people fuss over me. Let people love me.

Make everything go away. Just for a while. Even four days would be nice.

I need to be ill. Please let me get ill, just once. I haven't been ill in three years; I'm quite honest.

Really. I need it. I need it. >_< Ill.