"A King of Scraps and Patches in your Nutshell, Nutshell..."

Ate carrots to-day, got sick. I thought that five months was long enough to let my strange little system get over the Vitamin B poisoning, but apparently this is not so. >_> Blah.

Exhaustion has turned to lack of motivation, as a direct result of which it is four-thirty and I haven't done my schoolwork yet. I have two maths lessons, two logic lessons, and a Latin lesson; Mum did Astronomy with us this morning. I lose at Astronomy. It still fails to make any sense. ;_; At least I love maths and Latin, because logic is a demon also. Our text is rather terrible.

Whine, whine, whine. I lose. *facepalms*

Not feeling good to-day. Shall get to work now and try to accomplish something at least. My fingers are cold, and I made rather an ass of myself over my notebook to-day--I thought I'd forgotten it when I got home from work, so Da' drove me all the way back, at which point I realised it was on the floor of the car.

...Work ethic, where did you go? I remember when I had to get up at six o'clock every morning, and always had all my schoolwork done by ten-thirty. This is pathetic.

I am behaving truly awful to-day. Perhaps I should take the night off and hide in my room and read.

...Maths, right.

"Wine-Red Was His Velvet Coat..."

In rather better news (what maths lesson?), it turns out that Kelsey's favourite poem is The Highwayman. She read it to me out of a watercolour children's book she has, and her voice is rather low and gravelly, and it made the poem so shivery-- it was rather lovely. And it was such a coincidence, when Miss Zara just brought it up yesterday! ^_^ So, very exciting. She's had it memorised since she was a girl.

Jennie was feeling a little ill, so she didn't leave her room much to-day, which means I didn't see her.

I did paint Katy's nails for her, though, and May's, and talked with Bertha. I walked in on Bertha using the computer. ^___^ She has one in her room. And I did see Marcie to-day, too, and I am very fond of Marcie.

Of course, I only stayed a half-day to-day, so I didn't see as much of my people as usual. Linda was away, so there was nothing for me to do this afternoon, so I came home early, on account of having not finished my schoolwork.

Daniel looks a little better, though I may be only trying to be hopeful. But I think-- just a little better? Maybe?

On the plus side, I smell like old people. ^____________^

"Do You Ask Why I'm Sighing, My Son? You Shall Inherit What Mankind Has Done..."

The exhaustion and lack of motivation have given way into vague depression. Honestly I do not even feel enough energy to hate myself.

Trying to clear up old projects. I put Miss Zara's and Miss Kylee's packages in the post, am getting together Lillie's, am writing Fish's letter, am putting together Miss Zara's other package, am wondering whose package I've forgotten, am setting after my notecards for Manon and Nanni.

Am wondering should I even bother to go on writing when it doesn't help.

But this is a bad day. Anything I say to-day should not be taken seriously, either by myself or anyone else. Flat unhappiness is always a wretched thing.

Made twenty-two spiders. Still have loads of paper left.

Christmas...

...Why Christmas? But I'm sick of the way Christmas goes. I've begun to find the exchange of useless things depressing. Last year, and last year for my birthday, I asked everyone to donate to charities in my name for Christmas and birthday gifts, but no-one did; and instead I have things I don't need, shall never use--I feel guilty about them. I wish they were useful things I could give to people who don't have things. I wish everything weren't so concerned with-- I wish I could give more.

But why Christmas, and why two weeks from Hallowe'en?

I'm tired. Sigh-shiver.