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"Kick off the Covers..."
Nov. 19th, 2006 10:54 pmI am going to be an awful nasty bitch. >___< I beg everyone's pardon.
SOUJIN'S RULES FOR GOING TO THE OPERA AND SEEING 'NABUCCO'.
1. 'Woo' is for rock concerts. 'Woo' is for maidens in castles. 'Woo' is not for opera. If you like what someone is doing, clap. For God's sake don't whistle, and please don't scream. It's not. appropriate. and it's really annoying.
2. Okay, when they told you to shut off your cell phones? They meant it. One time is excusable, but four times in one act? The lightning bolt that hit Baal is coming for you next, madam.
3. If you look like you just walked off the street, you shall be sent back out there.
4. Your flashlights are for reading the text of Va, Pensiero. It's a beautiful aria, and you're lucky you get to sing it. For the love of God, use your flashlights for this purpose and this purpose only. You are not the lighting people, and you need not do their job. Also, people in front of you or behind you, into whose eyes the lights are shining, are likely to hit you with their programmes.
5. When the opera is over, kindly stay in your seats. It is not a race to see who can get to the parking lot before the curtain call. DAMMIT, YOU'RE BLOCKING OUR VIEW OF DIVA AND HER SHINY COSTUME. >:O
6. The stay in your seat rule has a corollary. Standing ovations are meant for exemplary performances, not good ones. Good ones get lots of applause. If you give out standing ovations like Hallowe'en candy, how will the cast know whether it did a good job or a spectacular one?
7. It is not appropriate to applaud when Nabucco converts to Judaism. Why? Because he's still singing, that's why. I'm proud of you for knowing to say 'bravo', but now is not the time. Likewise, do not shout when Baal blows up. Or I will poke you in the head.
8. Stop talking. Some of us paid more money than we like to think about for our opera tickets, for which reason we're really hoping to hear the opera.
9. Taking flash photographs is illegal, and I will personally make a citizen's arrest if you do it near me.
10. Lastly, when you are leaving the opera house parking lot, do not honk at the cars in front of you. This is particularly a good idea when no one is moving at all because the line is about three miles long and there's a traffic light at the exit. It just makes you look stupid for thinking the horn on your Caddy has an effect on said red light.
Thank you.
SOUJIN'S RULES FOR GOING TO THE OPERA AND SEEING 'NABUCCO'.
1. 'Woo' is for rock concerts. 'Woo' is for maidens in castles. 'Woo' is not for opera. If you like what someone is doing, clap. For God's sake don't whistle, and please don't scream. It's not. appropriate. and it's really annoying.
2. Okay, when they told you to shut off your cell phones? They meant it. One time is excusable, but four times in one act? The lightning bolt that hit Baal is coming for you next, madam.
3. If you look like you just walked off the street, you shall be sent back out there.
4. Your flashlights are for reading the text of Va, Pensiero. It's a beautiful aria, and you're lucky you get to sing it. For the love of God, use your flashlights for this purpose and this purpose only. You are not the lighting people, and you need not do their job. Also, people in front of you or behind you, into whose eyes the lights are shining, are likely to hit you with their programmes.
5. When the opera is over, kindly stay in your seats. It is not a race to see who can get to the parking lot before the curtain call. DAMMIT, YOU'RE BLOCKING OUR VIEW OF DIVA AND HER SHINY COSTUME. >:O
6. The stay in your seat rule has a corollary. Standing ovations are meant for exemplary performances, not good ones. Good ones get lots of applause. If you give out standing ovations like Hallowe'en candy, how will the cast know whether it did a good job or a spectacular one?
7. It is not appropriate to applaud when Nabucco converts to Judaism. Why? Because he's still singing, that's why. I'm proud of you for knowing to say 'bravo', but now is not the time. Likewise, do not shout when Baal blows up. Or I will poke you in the head.
8. Stop talking. Some of us paid more money than we like to think about for our opera tickets, for which reason we're really hoping to hear the opera.
9. Taking flash photographs is illegal, and I will personally make a citizen's arrest if you do it near me.
10. Lastly, when you are leaving the opera house parking lot, do not honk at the cars in front of you. This is particularly a good idea when no one is moving at all because the line is about three miles long and there's a traffic light at the exit. It just makes you look stupid for thinking the horn on your Caddy has an effect on said red light.
Thank you.
