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psalm_onethirtyoneIn other news, I love this song.
Manon, Manon! ^___^ I finally uploaded the songs I wanted you to hear, even though it took me approximately a million years. Storyteller and Lifetime of Song. I think they are Zara songs. Yes. We shall see.
Mum is still ill, and putting her resume up places. The nursing team she works with right now is asking for six patients in an eight-hour day, and no one can do it, not with two hours of charting, so she needs to get a nursing job somewhere else. She's asking everywhere. Unless she works (as a nurse), we don't get health coverage. (And with all my psychiatrist and clinic visits and medications, we need health coverage badly.)
Isn't this beautiful?
I told several people that I didn't think the Prozac was working, but actually I think it is. I still feel the same way I did before, but I don't want to kill myself for those feelings any more. And that's a step forward, isn't it? That's making it, somehow. I haven't treadmilled in four days, but it doesn't feel like the end of the world any more.
(Of course, I forgot to take all my medications yesterday, because I'm forgetful and rather stupid, but that's beside the point.)
I wonder if I'll be happy this year on my birthday. Last year all I remember was not telling anybody, and hating every moment of it, and forgetting it had ever happened (so that for four months afterwards I always accidentally told people I was a year younger than I am). I wonder if this year I'll be proud of it.
This is all a little rambly and beside the point, but I'm not sure what the point is, so there we are.
The fire in the fireplace makes me happy, and I spent this evening reading poetry out loud to Mum, from all my poetry books. She said she likes the way I read. I--that's the sort of compliment that I actually believe. It's the sort of thing that makes me smile.
The snow to-day was beautiful. The witch hazel looks so funny and lovely with snow on it, and all the trees. The snow makes everything right. And now I will do something that I should be doing, although to be perfectly honest I am not sure what that is. Have I told you often enough how I love you? I love you, I love you, I love you.
Manon, Manon! ^___^ I finally uploaded the songs I wanted you to hear, even though it took me approximately a million years. Storyteller and Lifetime of Song. I think they are Zara songs. Yes. We shall see.
Mum is still ill, and putting her resume up places. The nursing team she works with right now is asking for six patients in an eight-hour day, and no one can do it, not with two hours of charting, so she needs to get a nursing job somewhere else. She's asking everywhere. Unless she works (as a nurse), we don't get health coverage. (And with all my psychiatrist and clinic visits and medications, we need health coverage badly.)
Isn't this beautiful?
I told several people that I didn't think the Prozac was working, but actually I think it is. I still feel the same way I did before, but I don't want to kill myself for those feelings any more. And that's a step forward, isn't it? That's making it, somehow. I haven't treadmilled in four days, but it doesn't feel like the end of the world any more.
(Of course, I forgot to take all my medications yesterday, because I'm forgetful and rather stupid, but that's beside the point.)
I wonder if I'll be happy this year on my birthday. Last year all I remember was not telling anybody, and hating every moment of it, and forgetting it had ever happened (so that for four months afterwards I always accidentally told people I was a year younger than I am). I wonder if this year I'll be proud of it.
This is all a little rambly and beside the point, but I'm not sure what the point is, so there we are.
The fire in the fireplace makes me happy, and I spent this evening reading poetry out loud to Mum, from all my poetry books. She said she likes the way I read. I--that's the sort of compliment that I actually believe. It's the sort of thing that makes me smile.
The snow to-day was beautiful. The witch hazel looks so funny and lovely with snow on it, and all the trees. The snow makes everything right. And now I will do something that I should be doing, although to be perfectly honest I am not sure what that is. Have I told you often enough how I love you? I love you, I love you, I love you.
