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psalm_onethirtyoneHello. Hello.
I like putting my hair up. I haven't done that in a long time. It's hard for me to do things with my appearance. Like, like, how when I was much younger a lady told me I looked much prettier with earrings on, and now it is truly impossible for me to feel pretty without earrings. I don't think they probably even make any difference to any body who sees me, but I can't look at myself in the mirror and feel pretty at all unless I'm wearing them.
And, along those lines, for some reason I feel as though I look awful with my hair up. I enjoy putting it up, but I don't have confidence in my appearance any more. But I had it up to-day, and I went out in public, and went to work, and I didn't feel dreadful. That was nice. I like it when suddenly things like that are all right and I can do it.
It always makes me feel braver.
To-morrow I have nothing to do but schoolwork; no doctor's appointments or anything; so I'm going to clear out my inbox and get rid of my backlog and read for hours and write all the letters I haven't had time to write, and burn all the CDs I haven't had time to copy, and it will be a perfect day.
Also I have Prometheus Bound, and I am going to read it.
I'm falling asleep in my chair right now (I have been all day), so I think I will go to bed right now, or very, very shortly hereafter. Because guh. So tired.
(I can even sleep in until eight-thirty to-morrow! so exciting...!)
(I am writing poems to-day)
I like putting my hair up. I haven't done that in a long time. It's hard for me to do things with my appearance. Like, like, how when I was much younger a lady told me I looked much prettier with earrings on, and now it is truly impossible for me to feel pretty without earrings. I don't think they probably even make any difference to any body who sees me, but I can't look at myself in the mirror and feel pretty at all unless I'm wearing them.
And, along those lines, for some reason I feel as though I look awful with my hair up. I enjoy putting it up, but I don't have confidence in my appearance any more. But I had it up to-day, and I went out in public, and went to work, and I didn't feel dreadful. That was nice. I like it when suddenly things like that are all right and I can do it.
It always makes me feel braver.
To-morrow I have nothing to do but schoolwork; no doctor's appointments or anything; so I'm going to clear out my inbox and get rid of my backlog and read for hours and write all the letters I haven't had time to write, and burn all the CDs I haven't had time to copy, and it will be a perfect day.
Also I have Prometheus Bound, and I am going to read it.
I'm falling asleep in my chair right now (I have been all day), so I think I will go to bed right now, or very, very shortly hereafter. Because guh. So tired.
(I can even sleep in until eight-thirty to-morrow! so exciting...!)
(I am writing poems to-day)
