Well, I agree with that whole-heartedly, but just don't change the title for the opinion of one person ^^;;;
It does make it clearer, but it's a bit... long or something? ... No, on second (third?) read, it's quite good. *crazy, please ignore*
After Anna Maria comes back from the playground, it's in the paragraph after her mother says that they're having ham sandwiches. "No girl gets kidnapped twice. She's safe her. I shouldn't be always afraid."
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Date: 2007-02-23 01:41 am (UTC)Well, I agree with that whole-heartedly, but just don't change the title for the opinion of one person ^^;;;
It does make it clearer, but it's a bit... long or something? ... No, on second (third?) read, it's quite good. *crazy, please ignore*
After Anna Maria comes back from the playground, it's in the paragraph after her mother says that they're having ham sandwiches. "No girl gets kidnapped twice. She's safe her. I shouldn't be always afraid."
<3