Your crazy/brilliant conundrum reminds me of something Uta Hagen rails against in Respect for Acting: namely that a lot of young actors fall into the trap of believing, because all manner of artists are widely stereotyped as being terribly unstable/alcoholics/drug abusers/chronically unemployed, that the path to greatness in art is to be terribly unstable/an alcoholic/a drug abuser/chronically unemployed. It's the same sort of idea as what you're describing—that in order to excel in a particular field, one must somehow be damaged; or, even worse, that one can achieve excellence by damaging oneself.
You're smart enough to realize that this isn't so, and that's a very good thing. Pain may at times be a motivating force, but that doesn't mean that it should be encouraged. Working through it—which seems to be what you've resolved to do—is certainly a healthier and more constructive approach to take.
Also, for whatever it's worth, grades don't mean much of anything. I know lots of brilliant people who were D-and-F students in school, and a decent few idiots, too, who made straight As for a whole host of reasons that had nothing to do with their intelligence or any legitimate academic achievement.
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Date: 2009-02-23 06:38 am (UTC)You're smart enough to realize that this isn't so, and that's a very good thing. Pain may at times be a motivating force, but that doesn't mean that it should be encouraged. Working through it—which seems to be what you've resolved to do—is certainly a healthier and more constructive approach to take.
Also, for whatever it's worth, grades don't mean much of anything. I know lots of brilliant people who were D-and-F students in school, and a decent few idiots, too, who made straight As for a whole host of reasons that had nothing to do with their intelligence or any legitimate academic achievement.
Anyway, I love you. Be happy. ♥