Here's the thing: There is no shame or sin in taking your time to figure things out. There is no virtue or actual benefit to speeding through college. I have been taking classes at my local community college from the age of 14 to 21. I will be starting at "Real University" the day after I turn 22. Because of my double major, along with the fact that I want to experience everything I possibly can - extra classes outside of my majors if I can get them, sorority life, doing lots n lots of theatre, having a social life of some kind, a job on campus, the drama dept New York Satellite program, as much/many of UCI's study abroad programs as I can afford, &c. - I will likely end up spending more than the theoretically typical 2 years (as a transfer) I "should" be taking. So...what? How does that adversely affect me? Who is standing around judging me for being at UCI for THREE years instead of TWO? College isn't a race, and if you need to take your time to mush around and try things out and experiment with different areas of study to figure out What You Want To Be When You Grow Up... that's okay, you're okay, and your life will probably be better for it. And also, if you decide one thing now, and then change your mind, it's okay too! If anyone DOES judge you for that, they're stupid! :D
For instance-- in theatre, there's this whole weird connotation of "giving up", when you stop trying to get a break as an actor and you start doing a different job full time, that it's copping out, giving up, etc. (This is, in fact, what the entire Alternatives scene in A Chorus Line is about. I could start quoting it, but, no.) So I have this friend, who has been heading blithely towards the goal of Musical Theatre Performer most of her (very young - she's only 18) life. She recently got accepted into a pretty rockin' conservatory (against all the odds and, frankly, everyone's expectations)... and decided, at very much the last minute, to turn it down, to stay at the community college for a year or so, get her AA, work towards her certification in ASL interpretation (her original ideas was that interpreting would be better than waiting tables while trying to get work as an actor - somewhere along the line, she realized maybe it'd be better just to interpret, full stop), go to a Cal State and get a BA - maybe! - and whatever other certification she needs for interpretation. And, you know, get married, have kids, and raise a family. WHICH IS ALL A GREAT PLAN FOR HER. But she feels like she can't just come out and say "I don't really want to try to be an actor as a career anymore, I want to pursue interpretation as a career and along the line, be a homeschooling mother" because that would mean Giving Up and Changing Her Mind and she can't admit that.
But she hints at it, and we all get it, and what's more, everyone I know that she's spoken to about it thinks it's a wonderful idea for her and probably the best choice she could make right now, in her life.
My point is- if you go whole hog down the medical route, and then realize it's not for you, you can change your mind. It's allowed. The people who love you will want you to be happy, that's sort of part of the definition of loving you.
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Date: 2009-08-27 01:57 am (UTC)Here's the thing: There is no shame or sin in taking your time to figure things out. There is no virtue or actual benefit to speeding through college. I have been taking classes at my local community college from the age of 14 to 21. I will be starting at "Real University" the day after I turn 22. Because of my double major, along with the fact that I want to experience everything I possibly can - extra classes outside of my majors if I can get them, sorority life, doing lots n lots of theatre, having a social life of some kind, a job on campus, the drama dept New York Satellite program, as much/many of UCI's study abroad programs as I can afford, &c. - I will likely end up spending more than the theoretically typical 2 years (as a transfer) I "should" be taking. So...what? How does that adversely affect me? Who is standing around judging me for being at UCI for THREE years instead of TWO? College isn't a race, and if you need to take your time to mush around and try things out and experiment with different areas of study to figure out What You Want To Be When You Grow Up... that's okay, you're okay, and your life will probably be better for it. And also, if you decide one thing now, and then change your mind, it's okay too! If anyone DOES judge you for that, they're stupid! :D
For instance-- in theatre, there's this whole weird connotation of "giving up", when you stop trying to get a break as an actor and you start doing a different job full time, that it's copping out, giving up, etc. (This is, in fact, what the entire Alternatives scene in A Chorus Line is about. I could start quoting it, but, no.) So I have this friend, who has been heading blithely towards the goal of Musical Theatre Performer most of her (very young - she's only 18) life. She recently got accepted into a pretty rockin' conservatory (against all the odds and, frankly, everyone's expectations)... and decided, at very much the last minute, to turn it down, to stay at the community college for a year or so, get her AA, work towards her certification in ASL interpretation (her original ideas was that interpreting would be better than waiting tables while trying to get work as an actor - somewhere along the line, she realized maybe it'd be better just to interpret, full stop), go to a Cal State and get a BA - maybe! - and whatever other certification she needs for interpretation. And, you know, get married, have kids, and raise a family. WHICH IS ALL A GREAT PLAN FOR HER. But she feels like she can't just come out and say "I don't really want to try to be an actor as a career anymore, I want to pursue interpretation as a career and along the line, be a homeschooling mother" because that would mean Giving Up and Changing Her Mind and she can't admit that.
But she hints at it, and we all get it, and what's more, everyone I know that she's spoken to about it thinks it's a wonderful idea for her and probably the best choice she could make right now, in her life.
My point is- if you go whole hog down the medical route, and then realize it's not for you, you can change your mind. It's allowed. The people who love you will want you to be happy, that's sort of part of the definition of loving you.