Hm. This actually ties in to what I was going to say to you below, so: I actually used to feel like it was not okay for me, as a fat person, to go to beautiful places, because I was "ruining" them by being there. I felt like my ugly fatness meant that it was not okay for me to be around something nice. Which is why the concept of the site upsets me so much. I realise that the whole thing sounds ridiculous, and it sounds ridiculous to me, too, but then I have to acknowledge that this is the kind of thing I used to buy into bigtime, and it scares me to think that there are other people out there buying into it.
I just. I remember when we were in Europe and went to Kew Gardens, and I spent the whole time crying because all I could think was: We took all these beautiful photographs, and I ruined them all by being in them. How could I have been such a selfish person?
I hate the idea of institutions that help to validate the self-hatred people can feel for themselves. It makes me really, really angry.
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Date: 2010-01-11 04:13 am (UTC)I just. I remember when we were in Europe and went to Kew Gardens, and I spent the whole time crying because all I could think was: We took all these beautiful photographs, and I ruined them all by being in them. How could I have been such a selfish person?
I hate the idea of institutions that help to validate the self-hatred people can feel for themselves. It makes me really, really angry.