I just remember one of my clients this summer -- whenever she got moved, it hurt her, and she would swear and yell at whoever was doing that. I always offered to do it instead of her daughter, because even though I was taking care of her, I didn't have the same intimate relationship with her that her daughter obviously did.
I think for a lot of people, being with a dying or really ill loved one is kind of the emotional equivalent of this lady's yelling. You love them, and it hurts you that they're suffering in ways it can't hurt nursing home or hospice staff. Sure, staff exist to help with things you're not medically qualified for, but they also have the distance to be able to step in and bear the painful bits when you don't have the emotional resources. And that's something other family members can do too, of course. The point is that it's almost impossible for anybody to bear that emotional yelling, long-term or short-term, when the person yelling is someone you love.
(no subject)
Date: 2011-10-01 09:46 pm (UTC)I think for a lot of people, being with a dying or really ill loved one is kind of the emotional equivalent of this lady's yelling. You love them, and it hurts you that they're suffering in ways it can't hurt nursing home or hospice staff. Sure, staff exist to help with things you're not medically qualified for, but they also have the distance to be able to step in and bear the painful bits when you don't have the emotional resources. And that's something other family members can do too, of course. The point is that it's almost impossible for anybody to bear that emotional yelling, long-term or short-term, when the person yelling is someone you love.