psalm_onethirtyone | "We Stay Here, We're Not Together... Anywhere Is..."

Okay. -_- So. After angsting over the difficulty of finding a beta-reader at bloddydemmed twelve-a-m, I finally talked Mum into doing it. She approves much of Archie/Horatio, for some reason.

So here, two days overdue, but with all love to

fannore and

ladybretagne:

Anywhere Is

Dear my love, haven't you wanted to be with me
And dear my love, haven't you longed to be free

It was nearly sundown, and the sky was all colours and shades of purple, red, blue, pink, and a funny golden-orange. There were rather a lot of clouds, some of them grey and some of them on fire with colour, and the dark was sweeping along behind the sun, pin-pricked with stars. It was beautiful.

With his fingers curled around the bars, Archie looked quietly out the prison window. "It's rather pretty, isn't it?"

Horatio nodded, although Archie had said that already two times. "Yes. It's very nice, Archie."

They were back in their old cell in El Faroll. Horatio was lying on his back on the lower cot, and eying the splinters in the above bunk. Quite simply, he was exhausted; he was tired of the sand, and of the heat, and of the prison, and he wanted nothing more than to go to sleep and dream of the ocean. His walks didn't begin to make up for everything.

But Archie insisted on talking.

Horatio told himself that Archie was unhappy, and that he very likely needed to talk, and that he himself ought to be trying to comfort him. But he was too tired to comfort, and never very good at it, anyway. He rather wished Archie would try sleeping, too.

Archie turned away from the window and looked at Horatio instead. "I miss the Indy."

"Yes, well, we agreed to come back here. You needn't have if you didn't want to. You chose to come with me," said Horatio sharply. He was aware of a slight feeling of guilt.

"I know I did." Archie went back to looking out the window.

"I'm sorry." Quickly, Horatio got off the bed and walked over beside Archie. "Archie, I'm sorry. I didn't intend-- Archie, are you all right?"

"I'm so tired of this place. It was horrible when I was alone. Now--I should be grateful that I'm with you now, but I'm here with you, and I'd rather be anywhere else in the world. I hate getting up in the morning, because all I shall see is the same place with the walls and the bars on the window. I want to get out of here," said Archie earnestly, watching Horatio's face. "Oh, I won't try. That's foolish. I know that. I know what happened all the other times. But I hate it."

I can't keep pretending that I don't even know you
And at sweet night, you are my own
Take my hand

Horatio laid his hand awkwardly on Archie's shoulder, and pushed back a little of his hair, swaying between feeling intensely stupid and really very concerned.

"You'll be all right. Every day that goes by is another day taken from the war, you know. We might only be here another year at the most, if everything goes well."

"Oh! a year," Archie laughed bitterly.

Horatio frowned. It was difficult to say anything halfway comforting when he was so tired. Carefully, he squeezed Archie's shoulder in what he hoped was a reassuring manner, and told him gently, "Perhaps only a year. And there must be men in other prisons who have been there far longer than we have here. We're lucky, really. Don Alfredo trusts us because we've given him our parole and kept it, and I'm sure that's more than many men could boast. We'll be all right."

"Of course we will. Oh, Horatio, everyone's starving for the sea. Styles, Oldroyd--poor Matthews, who's lived nearly his whole life on it. They all know they should be on a ship, not locked up in a prison."

"I know that very well, Archie, but there's nothing I can do about it."

"I want to go home..."

The last bit of the sunset was playing over them, making Archie's face half shadowed and half covered with gold. Horatio blinked the light out of his eyes.

"You shall go home. Just not now."

We're leaving here tonight
There's no need to tell anyone
They'd only hold us down

Horatio felt Archie leaning against him, only a little, and he wondered suddenly if Archie was just as tired as he was. He began to feel a bit sorrier.

"Archie, come sit with me. Do lie down. You'll feel better. You've been standing all day," he said, in a burst of sympathy. He noticed that Archie's eyes looked weary, and that they were red-rimmed from--oh, from any number of things, perhaps exhaustion, perhaps unhappiness. Likely Archie needed to rest. Besides, if they were sitting on the bed, the chances were better that they'd go to sleep at last.

Archie docilely allowed himself to be led over to the cot and lain down, with his head resting against Horatio's knee.

"There," said Horatio with satisfaction.

"Horatio," said Archie. "Do you know what I did last night when I couldn't sleep? I counted stars. Have you any idea how useless that feels? I want to work the guns with you and the other lieutenants. I want to keep a continuous watch just so I can feel I'm doing something for my ship."

So Horatio stroked Archie's hair and once again murmured the most comforting things he could think of and insisted that they'd be out soon, that the war would be done soon, and they could go back to their ship. As he did so, he thought of the impracticability of it. If the war ended, there would be no need for them, and they'd end up scrabbling a living at something, perhaps in London. Everything he told Archie he objected to in his head.

But it seemed to make Archie feel rather better. While Horatio spoke, he sometimes smiled, and he very quickly closed his eyes and actually relaxed his body and appeared to be listening, which pleased Horatio very much and convinced him that his good advice was being taken to heart.

For the next hour, Horatio kept at it, feeling more and more exhausted, but rewarded by Archie's seeming to have fallen asleep. At last, he fell silent. Archie didn't stir. Horatio smiled triumphantly, and carefully lay down in the cot in a dreadfully uncomfortable position, trying not to wake Archie up again.

So by the morning light
We'll be half way to anywhere
Where love is more than just your name

In the middle of the night, however, he awoke. The first thing he noticed was that the bed was cold, and Archie's shoulder--comfortably crushing his leg--was gone.

He looked up to see Archie standing by the window.

"Archie. What are you doing up? Come back and sleep." He stood, and staggered, sleep-blinded, to Archie's side.

Archie put his hand on Horatio's sleeve sadly. "Dear Horatio. I'm sorry. You did say awfully good things. But it doesn't help, Horatio. I'm lonely for the sea."

The first thing Horatio felt was exasperation. He was exhausted, sour, and greatly out of sorts. But then he softened a little, and hugged Archie. It was very strange to him to do so. He couldn't remember having ever done it before. Perhaps because of Simpson, he was usually afraid to touch Archie too much.

"Then come back and have dreams of it. You'll only make things worse staying up all night."

Archie gave in again, and rested his head on Horatio's shoulder. Horatio paused, surprised, and smiled sideways at Archie's ear, partly fond and partly long-suffering.

"I'm sorry, Horatio. I'm being an awful nuisance, aren't I? I suppose you haven't slept at all."

"I have, a little. But go back to sleep. I promise things will seem better after you've slept."

Archie obeyed, but it was Horatio who dreamed of the Indy all night.

I have dreamt of a place for you and I
No one knows who we are there

In the morning, they both woke to sunlight. Archie was mainly quiet, and Horatio was still tired. He was exceedingly grateful for his walk when it came.

The beach was covered in soft sand, and Horatio, forgetting himself in a moment of foolishness, took off his boots and stockings and curled his toes in it.

In the afternoon, the sky was a clear blue, with enough clouds to keep the sun from burning. The sea rushed up along the beach and soaked his feet. Further away, he could see where the sand ended and the sparse bushes and trees began, and then, even further, the prison. He looked back to the sea.

Finally he sat down, though higher up. He was, after all, not so foolish as to sit in the wet sand.

He mused on Archie.

Poor Archie. He looked so different now, Horatio thought, crumbling sand between his fingers. Horatio was used to Archie smiling at grief, like Patience on her monument. He didn't do that any more, and he didn't quote Shakespeare, either.

But Archie wasn't the only one who wanted to be free. It was damnable that they must stay in prison, when he ached to be back on the Indy, shouting commands to Styles and Matthews, standing with the deck of a ship rolling comfortably under his feet, his hair wet from salt spray. Horatio was stricken with nostalgia. He, too, wanted to go home.

If only something could be done.

All I want is to give my life only to you
I've dreamt so long I cannot dream anymore
Let's run away, I'll take you there

In an effort to avoid Archie when he was feeling so distinctly guilty about him, Horatio stayed out longer than he really should have. He hoped that Don Alfredo wouldn't be suspicious or displeased, but he didn't want to go back. Though he was unused to disobeying orders, even loosely, and each moment gave him a little feeling of urgency, he found a place higher up on some rocks where he could see everything that was to be seen.

There was another sunset, but this one was more gold than it was a spectrum. The sand, the sea, and the sky were all coated in the rich golden light. Horatio stood very still.

He could hear the waves, making the sound of forever on the rocks. He
could pick out the faint sound of gulls, much further out. There was the smallest bit of a breeze blowing, and he could hear a rustle in the trees somewhere further down. But he could hear something else, too, which steadily grew louder.

He was so used to ships and footsteps that it took him a minute to realise he was hearing hoofbeats. Quickly, he turned his head, and found himself looking down the trail to three men on horseback. One was Don Alfredo, and Horatio grimaced, certain they'd come to collect and reprimand him.

"Sir!"

"A letter has come considering you, Mr. Hornblower, from Their Excellencies in Madrid."

"Sir?"

"The first minister has informed me that in recognition of your courage in saving life at the peril of your own, you and your ship's crew are to be set at liberty," Don Alfredo told him, with the hint of a smile.

We're leaving here tonight
There's no need to tell anyone
They'd only hold us down

"We are to be set free?" asked Horatio. He hardly dared believe it. How many things that would solve! Everything would be better.

"That is what I usually understand 'liberty' to mean," said Don Alfredo, deadpan.

Horatio was far too pleased to be annoyed, as he usually was when people joked with him. "Thank you, sir. I am honoured by Their Excellencies' consideration." They were to return to the Indy. He was to be back on the sea. And Archie--well, at last, Archie would be truly well again.

He smiled with pleasure, barely hearing Don Alfredo, but catching the words: "I wonder if Their Excellencies realise they are setting free a man who will doubtless be a thorn in their sides for many years to come..."

Horatio always heard what people said, even if he would rather not. It was necessary. He tossed his head, smiled, and said, "I shall endeavour not to disappoint them, sir."

Don Alfredo nodded, and swung back up on his horse. Perhaps he realised Horatio didn't want to listen. He went off cantering, with his coattails flapping, and Horatio didn't look after him.

Of course, in a moment, Archie must be told. Horatio must return to the prison and tell Archie that at last he could go back to the Indy and never see El Faroll again. But for a little while, Horatio want to savour his delight. He turned to the sea. It was going to be his again.

So by the morning light
We'll be half way to anywhere
Where love is more than just your name

Archie was sitting in the corner of his cot with his knees drawn up, contemplating his hands and looking dreadfully melancholy. His hair was ruffled and his clothes were all wrinkled from being in the prison so long, and Horatio thought perhaps he had been singing under his breath.

"Archie," he sat down on the cot, and took Archie's hands in his. "Archie, listen to me. I've got a letter in my pocket. Do you know who it's from? It's from the first minister in Madrid. He says--Archie, are you listening to me?"

"Of course, Horatio."

Horatio felt distinctly put-out. "I have something serious to tell you, Archie. It's good news. You shall be happy."

Archie sighed. "Is the war to last only another year, then?" He met Horatio's eyes wearily.

At that, Horatio felt even more put-out. Sighing with exasperation, he put a hand to Archie's cheek. "Listen to me. We're free to go. We've been released."

"What?" Archie's eyes had widened, and Horatio felt him tremble.

"I told you. We're free to go by order of Their Excellencies in Madrid. You can go back to the Indy. Archie. Aren't you listening to me? You shall have everything back."

Forget this life
Come with me
Don't look back you're safe now

"But--but why? Why have they?" Archie lifted his hand and stroked Horatio's cheek, his shoulder, in distraction. "Why on earth have they decided that?" He had the manner of a child who was so convinced he couldn't have something that he wouldn't believe it when he did. "Why, Horatio?"

Patiently, Horatio took hold of Archie's hand again, stopping his movement. "Because of us. Because of you and me and Styles and Matthews and all of us. We went out for our enemies. We saved those Spaniards and brought them back."

"So it was you?"

"No," said Horatio, still being patient. "It was all of us."

"No, it was you, saving everyone again. You always do." Archie kissed Horatio's cheek, and Horatio could feel him trembling again. "You're always there, just when we think we've spent all our chances. That's what you do. That's what you do, Horatio. When I was here before, I was so angry at you because you didn't come, and that's what you were supposed to do. And then you did come--oh, I couldn't believe it, Horatio. But I could. I should have known. You didn't come soon, but you came. And suddenly I wasn't at all angry any longer."

Horatio felt overwhelmed. He wasn't all so surprised when Archie kissed him. That'd seemed like something that would've happened. It was almost as though he'd been waiting for it to happen for ages, and he was rather relieved when it did at last.

But it wasn't as though he thought anyone expected him to always show up at the last moment and save everyone. He frowned. Well... true, he did manage to have a lot of luck where his shipmate's lives were concerned...

And yet there'd been so many times! There was Clayton, there was that poor man--Davy Williams. He hadn't forgotten--Bunting, Hunter--he certainly remembered every man he hadn't been able to save, or who died on his account. He certainly remembered, and he'd never thought of himself as one who could save everyone. He was only lucky. Sometimes.

Unlock your heart
Drop your guard
No one's left to stop you

"Archie," and he smiled a little, "you've such illusions about me. Lord knows, I'm not half so brave as you make me sound. But I tell you, we're all right now. Aren't you pleased?"

Archie swallowed and nodded. "Yes. Yes, of course. I'm terribly happy, Horatio."

"Good." Horatio's smile grew, and he felt very pleased himself. "There; you shall feel much better when we're back on the Indy. You shall have the sea air, the spray."

"The funny whistling noise the wind makes in the rigging..."

"Yes, all that."

Then Archie smiled a little, too, and raised his face. "You're right. I shall feel much better." He brushed back Horatio's hair with his fingertips, and kissed him again, and then said earnestly, "Thank you."

"Hush. We shall go tell the others."

"All right. Just a moment, Horatio."

Horatio returned the kiss this time, lovingly, and awfully pleased that everything had turned out right. He would at last be back on the ocean, with all his daydreams of the past three months likely to come true. Archie would be able to have the Indy, with no worry of Simpson.

It was a very good ending for the whole episode, really.

Forget this life
Come with me
Don't look back you're safe now
Unlock your heart
Drop your guard
No one's left to stop you now