"Love has Thrown its Life to the Dust..."

Manon?

Mum is telephoning the psychiatrist who works with her office, and seeing if he knows anyone for children.

I slept twelve hours straight, and still can't eat, but less hysterical. I'm wearing a big green sweater of Da's, so I'm warmer. My feet are numb, though. Da' says we're saving heat this winter and can't turn the thermostat up. Everybody else went to get ice cream, and I'm going to go upstairs now and treadmill and read 1984, since Zara wins, I'll read it first over Washington Square.

Is two hours until Hamlet.

My poor watch is falling apart again. I've bandaged it heavily with masking tape, to stop it from cutting my wrists again, but it looks woeful and as though it's survived a horrid, bloodying experience. Poor thing.

I need to change my calender; it's October now.

I'm wearing my Thor's Hammer and my Turkish Eye in my pockets again for luck, one on each side. The Hammer has a nice, heavy feeling, and the Eye is very smooth and made of beautiful blue glass.

(I'm sorry. I'm very sorry. I don't know how to apologise enough for everything.)

(But I'm not sad, just sorry.)

Must go up now.

The more I listen to the crack!Hamlet musical, the more I realise that That it Should Come to This makes no sense whatsoever. It's just a collection of almost completely random emo phrases set to music. ^_^ I rather like it anyway.

"Hamlet, Take My Napkin, Wipe Thy Brow..."

*flails arms* Hamlet Hamlet Hamlet omg!

Omg. Modern-day!Denmark.

Omg.

XD He was squishy Hamlet. He was essentially eighteen years old and I wanted to squish him. Augh. I've never felt that way about Hamlet before. It was so embarrassing, it really was.

Him: To be or not to be!
Me: OMGSQUISH!
Him: Alas, poor Yorick!
Me: OMGSQUISH!
Him: Horatio, you play the Player King's Evil Brother and make him get it in the ear!
Me: O_O O. M. G. SQUISH. Also WTF? XD XD XD

Essentially. I felt like such an idiot. ^_^ Ahaha.

They had to cut so. much. They made it a two-hour production. They cut Fortinbras completely, and you wouldn't believe how much goes with Fortinbras; and Ros and Guil got one scene (but. they were dressed in matching Wittenburg baseball caps and blazers, and had little suitjackets to wear over them, and omg omg) but it was the hawk and handsaw one, so that was mostly all right; and half of Hamlet's soliloquies, and--this offended the Horatio in my head so much that he still isn't speaking--the More Antique Roman than a Dane part. In fact, they cut most of Horatio's interaction with Hamlet. Truth be told, Hamlet's friendlier with Ros and Guil than with Horatio.

This is only slightly redeemed by the fact that Horatio is omgsosilly!Horatio, and first scares Bernardo (they cut Marcello, too) by intoning his opening line to him, and then scares him again by going to shake hands with him and having his hand up his sleeve and making Bernard think it's been cut off. Which was just. so. silly. And slightly endearing, in a 'Horatio, you're an idiot' kind of way. But really, there was no honour whatsoever to the part, and Horatio-in-my-head is being coldly outraged. Because he was a dork, to put it plainly, and he didn't like that.

Laertes was wonderful, though. He had on a tweed jacket lined with bright lime green silk, and when Polonius said the line about clothes he opened it and stared disapprovingly at the lining and Laertes went *FLAIL* and tried to button it up. And, I don't know, he really worked as a character. It was sweet. He was even squishier than Hamlet, except when he was furious!Laertes and going at Claudius with a pistol. Also he was doubling as Ros. :D

(Horatio doubled for Guil.)

Polonius was amazing. He had character depth! and subtext! and actually pantomimed his death as Julius Caesar, and everyone was laughing so hard (and so rather affectionately) that they laughed over Hamlet's annoying line about the brute killing. I was devastated at his death, which I've never felt before, and I wanted him baaaack. ;_; He was such a good Polonius.

Wanted to slap Gertrude. Gertrude was awful.

Ophelia was really nice to begin with but as soon as she went mad she went over the top and wouldn't stop flailing and just no. Irritating as all get-out. But she was good at the beginning! She was sweet and fluffy with Laertes, and good with Hamlet, and it was pretty and adorable and since Horatio didn't exist properly you rather wanted them to be together. The Get thee to a nunnery scene was perfect. Just--well-blocked and wonderful with the characters. <3 Much love.

Osric. was. Scottish. And wearing dark glasses and a fedora. <333333333333 Ohhh, yes.

Claudius was good. Claudius was--very sympathetic, all in all. Yes. We liked him, too.

(Zara's Hamlet has spoilt me to death. I really didn't like this Hamlet, not like hers. He was just--too sane. Everything he did was so very sane. The Ros and Guil scene? Everything in earnest. The play? Earnest. There is no way Claudius could have believed him really truly mad. Everything he did was sincere. But he had a good delivery...!)

As for things being rearranged, To be in not to be was in the wrong place, and they added a scene where Horatio tells Gertrude that Claudius tried to have Hamlet killed, which does not sit well with us, because... dude. Gertrude knew the wine was poisoned and drank it to prevent Hamlet's drinking it. I'm not quite sure yet whether I approve. ^_~ We'll see.

Hamlet had a black t-shirt with Wittenburg written across the front, and Ophelia was wearing a jean skirt and blouse; Ros and Guil's clothes we mentioned already; Gertrude had a pinstripe pantsuit, and everyone else wore suits. Oh! and Hamlet was dressed in red for his opening scene at Claudius' coronation. It actually worked. He was wearing a black sash and armband for mourning, over a red military jacket with gold. <3 Was nice.

...

...Horatio was such a dork. :D And did not exist. And Zara, come save me with your Hamlet.

(Waen helped me figure out both murderer!Horatio and Hamlet/Laertes. After supper I shall write)

"When She Caught My Eye, I Put it Back..."

Mum is thinking of sending me back to school.

I wouldn't be able to work any more. I'd have to leave behind my people.

;_; I don't think I want to go.