She likes showing off how good she is at cooking, because she really is super. ^_^
--Great. You know what I hate? Favouritism. And--just. No. This is why families don't communicate, and does she ever stop to think that this could affect your recovery? Hello? No. You are my beautiful, wonderful girl. I'm happier when you are here, and I know you're a good person. I love you.
She apologised, sort of, but she also denied actually remembering any of it. Also, she doesn't think I'm actually recovering from anything, and doesn't always seem to think there's something to recover from. --She does like Maya better, though. Maya's more like her; Maya's open. Maya likes to talk and boy, does she ever. She knows where she is with Maya-- it's hard not to. (Maya doesn't call me except when she wants something, has anyone else noticed that?) I'm the one she can't read, the one who doesn't like to talk, the one she looks at askance and who she's uncomfortable with because I'm not awfully feminine, not the one who lives on junk food and is stick thin, not the one with a disorder that a pill will solve. But you know. She never liked me better; dad does, usually.
Well, I have news for her. You've got a disease to recover from, and you are. There's a difference between going to be at seven and going to bed at three. A significant difference; and I'm so proud of you. I'm proud of you for being there, for moving from where you were last year. I'm proud of you that you're working at this, even though it's hard and tired and you don't know when it's going to end and you don't even know sometimes what you're working towards. --And. Ha. Those are some of the reasons I'm afraid you'll someday realise you want Lillie instead of me. But that is beside the point, because you are the point. I do not care what your mother thinks, except probably to disagree with her. ^_~ But your sister is not better than you because she's easier to understand, or because she's got a different, perhaps less difficult, kind of sickness. Where Maya is awfully feminine, she's not as well-read or as well-versed in literature as you are. She may be stick thin, but you give wonderful safe soft hugs. It's just give for take. Maybe she's got something you haven't, but you've got something she hasn't. If your mother could realise that, she'd be a lot better off, and she'd probably have a better relationship with you. My mum, by the way, wants you to know that she loves you. Can we be your second family? Let's be your second family. We'll be the ones who don't shout about anything.
We tell each other when we're disappointed, and we talk about things that have upset us, but I don't remember ever in my life being shouted at by anyone in my family.
No, see, I actively don't believe you. I can't really remember a few-day-stretch without being shouted at. For as long as I can remember I've been the one who hasn't learned how to curse out the rest of the family members.
Well, it's true. We don't shout. And I'm glad you don't, because it means that even though you've been stuck in an entirely insane situation, you're holding out. And once again I'm proud of you. ♥
Once I lost my temper and threw water at Mum, but she was very angry and I've never done it since. I think that's the only throwing that ever happened.
I meant glass, ceramic, television remotes, books. ...actually, for about 12 years now, there's been a huge chunk out of the bathroom sink where it was attacked with a hair brush.
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(no subject)
Date: 2006-08-06 03:29 am (UTC)--Great. You know what I hate? Favouritism. And--just. No. This is why families don't communicate, and does she ever stop to think that this could affect your recovery? Hello? No. You are my beautiful, wonderful girl. I'm happier when you are here, and I know you're a good person. I love you.
(no subject)
Date: 2006-08-06 03:34 am (UTC)She apologised, sort of, but she also denied actually remembering any of it. Also, she doesn't think I'm actually recovering from anything, and doesn't always seem to think there's something to recover from. --She does like Maya better, though. Maya's more like her; Maya's open. Maya likes to talk and boy, does she ever. She knows where she is with Maya-- it's hard not to. (Maya doesn't call me except when she wants something, has anyone else noticed that?) I'm the one she can't read, the one who doesn't like to talk, the one she looks at askance and who she's uncomfortable with because I'm not awfully feminine, not the one who lives on junk food and is stick thin, not the one with a disorder that a pill will solve. But you know. She never liked me better; dad does, usually.
(no subject)
Date: 2006-08-06 03:43 am (UTC)Well, I have news for her. You've got a disease to recover from, and you are. There's a difference between going to be at seven and going to bed at three. A significant difference; and I'm so proud of you. I'm proud of you for being there, for moving from where you were last year. I'm proud of you that you're working at this, even though it's hard and tired and you don't know when it's going to end and you don't even know sometimes what you're working towards. --And. Ha. Those are some of the reasons I'm afraid you'll someday realise you want Lillie instead of me. But that is beside the point, because you are the point. I do not care what your mother thinks, except probably to disagree with her. ^_~ But your sister is not better than you because she's easier to understand, or because she's got a different, perhaps less difficult, kind of sickness. Where Maya is awfully feminine, she's not as well-read or as well-versed in literature as you are. She may be stick thin, but you give wonderful safe soft hugs. It's just give for take. Maybe she's got something you haven't, but you've got something she hasn't. If your mother could realise that, she'd be a lot better off, and she'd probably have a better relationship with you. My mum, by the way, wants you to know that she loves you. Can we be your second family? Let's be your second family. We'll be the ones who don't shout about anything.
(no subject)
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