"Bad Dreams in the Night..."
Oct. 17th, 2006 08:51 pm![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png){kind=small}
psalm_onethirtyoneWell, I'll never get to sleep to-night. ^^ I accidentally took a four-hour nap to-day. I was tired, though! I've been feeling as though I'm getting no sleep at all--not sleepy so much as achingly tired and hurting all over and the way I usual feel when I fail to sleep. But I had ten hours last night; and then of course four to-day, and I'm still pretty tired. Body, wtf. Be good.
Cali came back again and I shared my dinner with her as a peace offering. Possibly we will be reconciled.
Sandy--oh, Sandy. He is having trouble walking all of a sudden. He can't get up the steps any more. Mum has started carrying him instead. I guess--he's about ten or eleven years old, if I actually think about it, but that's not hugely old, is it? I don't know. He's in pretty bad shape all of a sudden. As a result, he is not being asked to sleep outside any more; he is also not being allowed to go along on rides any more.
...He's about the same age as Cali, actually. But there's nothing wrong with Cali. She's just round and snuggly and still a terrific mouser and a wonderful kitty, except that she has started dripping again. I don't know whether to mention it to the vet again or not.
Augh, pets. Please do not be sick. Soujin loves you too much. ;___;
I am, meanwhile, doing nothing with my life. Waen has just gotten a job, and I feel--supremely useless. It's very frustrating. It's sort of--oh, it's stupid. But I worked all summer and all that happened was I had a horrible experience that's still haunting me and won't leave me alone, and it ruined for me one of my favourite things to do-- and Waen spent the summer having a fabulous time; she travelled, she bought two cars and a dog, she got to sell a lot of her artwork and spend time with her friends and all sorts of things, and now she's getting a job and she does so much and gahhh.
And Soujin is just sleeping a lot and doing a little and forcing herself to leave the house at all. It's stupid, see? I am not jealous of her. I just feel pretty plain and stupid in comparison.
I will not help that this evening. :D I will bum around on the internets doing nothing and then around twelve will not be able to sleep; so will take melatonin and wake up to-morrow with a headache, and then I will sit around trying to figure out what in heaven's name I'm doing in Latin and chemistry. I just wish I didn't feel so--useless. Rilly useless. And I think the 'never leaving the house' part is doing a lot to be unhelpful.
And I will admit that I am jealous of Waen that two days a week she gets to have dinner out with Mum and they stay out until ten-thirty working on cars together while I stay home and eat with Daddy (something that is v. high on my discomfort-o-metre) and then fool around online all night long. >___<
I want to do something, but I'm so limited.
Cali came back again and I shared my dinner with her as a peace offering. Possibly we will be reconciled.
Sandy--oh, Sandy. He is having trouble walking all of a sudden. He can't get up the steps any more. Mum has started carrying him instead. I guess--he's about ten or eleven years old, if I actually think about it, but that's not hugely old, is it? I don't know. He's in pretty bad shape all of a sudden. As a result, he is not being asked to sleep outside any more; he is also not being allowed to go along on rides any more.
...He's about the same age as Cali, actually. But there's nothing wrong with Cali. She's just round and snuggly and still a terrific mouser and a wonderful kitty, except that she has started dripping again. I don't know whether to mention it to the vet again or not.
Augh, pets. Please do not be sick. Soujin loves you too much. ;___;
I am, meanwhile, doing nothing with my life. Waen has just gotten a job, and I feel--supremely useless. It's very frustrating. It's sort of--oh, it's stupid. But I worked all summer and all that happened was I had a horrible experience that's still haunting me and won't leave me alone, and it ruined for me one of my favourite things to do-- and Waen spent the summer having a fabulous time; she travelled, she bought two cars and a dog, she got to sell a lot of her artwork and spend time with her friends and all sorts of things, and now she's getting a job and she does so much and gahhh.
And Soujin is just sleeping a lot and doing a little and forcing herself to leave the house at all. It's stupid, see? I am not jealous of her. I just feel pretty plain and stupid in comparison.
I will not help that this evening. :D I will bum around on the internets doing nothing and then around twelve will not be able to sleep; so will take melatonin and wake up to-morrow with a headache, and then I will sit around trying to figure out what in heaven's name I'm doing in Latin and chemistry. I just wish I didn't feel so--useless. Rilly useless. And I think the 'never leaving the house' part is doing a lot to be unhelpful.
And I will admit that I am jealous of Waen that two days a week she gets to have dinner out with Mum and they stay out until ten-thirty working on cars together while I stay home and eat with Daddy (something that is v. high on my discomfort-o-metre) and then fool around online all night long. >___<
I want to do something, but I'm so limited.
