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Open Letter to A Woman at Work. Warning for Soujin!rant.
Ooookay, lady. I think we are overdue for a talk.
See, you've been at my workplace for two months now, and you're still acting in a way that is... presumptuous, at best. Let me explain a couple of things, here, real fast.
Okay, one. The reason I do not get upset when Alberta yells at me and tries to hit me? She, unlike you, is not compos mentis. She can't help it. For some reason, little things bug her, and she's sometimes possessive and needy and then sometimes she's beamy and generous with praise, and sometimes she WANTS HER COFFEE NOW DAMMIT. If I can't get her her COFFEE NOW DAMMIT, I, who have been working here for three years, am perfectly capable of telling her to hang on a moment. I do not need you getting angry and yelling at her. I can handle it. I can handle it with tact. Also? She probably weighs ninety pounds, and she hits like a baby. I can handle that, too.
And when I wheel you back to your room? I would rather not spend the whole time mmhmming politely while you tell me what a bitch she is. I can't tell you off. This is a shame. Let's say it again now: Not. Compos. Mentis. Not. Responsible. For her actions. Okay? Okay. Great.
Likewise, John, the guy up your hall who screams and cries in the night? Not. Compos. Mentis. It's okay if this bothers you, as in, 'Boy, I can't get a decent night's sleep with poor John getting upset in the night'. Not okay is 'THAT IDIOT WHY DOESN'T HE CONTROL HIMSELF'. You see what I'm saying?
Also: Quit calling my boss fat. That is really pissing me off. She is a really nice lady, she's working really hard to get this place back in order after my former boss of absolutely insanely scary left, she's arranging all kinds of special events for the people here, and she likes you. It would be nice if you could extend some courtesy. Yes, she's pretty heavy. No, it is not appropriate to talk about it. Even to me. Especially to me, since I smiled politely and told you that subject makes me really uncomfortable. I do not like getting cornered and told, 'People like her... it's just sad'. Urgh. It's also hypocritical as hell, but I'm not going to call you on that.
Like when she was arranging a cookie baking event, and you jabbed me with your elbow and raised your eyebrows and went 'mmhmmm!'? Yeah. Unfortunately, I'm still not allowed to tell you off. I did express some annoyance, but it didn't seem to get through. I know you're fully compos and have no trouble thinking, but sometimes the fact somewhat surprises me.
LASTLY. Asking me about my family, and then telling me (when I tell you what she wants to do in college) that my sister is fifteen and has no idea what she wants to do with her life, and that if she's not a caretaker type she 'should get her tubes tied right away the second she gets married', and then telling me maybe she shouldn't get married at all, and then that it doesn't matter because she's fifteen so what does she know, maybe she'll change--um. Dude. We just ran a full spectrum of inappropriate there.
(and I haven't even mentioned the part where you keep telling me that all foreigners are bad and want to steal my car because they're all really illegal immigrants and crack addicts.)
Honestly? I prefer Alberta.
I hope you leave soon. Very little love,
Me.
Ooookay, lady. I think we are overdue for a talk.
See, you've been at my workplace for two months now, and you're still acting in a way that is... presumptuous, at best. Let me explain a couple of things, here, real fast.
Okay, one. The reason I do not get upset when Alberta yells at me and tries to hit me? She, unlike you, is not compos mentis. She can't help it. For some reason, little things bug her, and she's sometimes possessive and needy and then sometimes she's beamy and generous with praise, and sometimes she WANTS HER COFFEE NOW DAMMIT. If I can't get her her COFFEE NOW DAMMIT, I, who have been working here for three years, am perfectly capable of telling her to hang on a moment. I do not need you getting angry and yelling at her. I can handle it. I can handle it with tact. Also? She probably weighs ninety pounds, and she hits like a baby. I can handle that, too.
And when I wheel you back to your room? I would rather not spend the whole time mmhmming politely while you tell me what a bitch she is. I can't tell you off. This is a shame. Let's say it again now: Not. Compos. Mentis. Not. Responsible. For her actions. Okay? Okay. Great.
Likewise, John, the guy up your hall who screams and cries in the night? Not. Compos. Mentis. It's okay if this bothers you, as in, 'Boy, I can't get a decent night's sleep with poor John getting upset in the night'. Not okay is 'THAT IDIOT WHY DOESN'T HE CONTROL HIMSELF'. You see what I'm saying?
Also: Quit calling my boss fat. That is really pissing me off. She is a really nice lady, she's working really hard to get this place back in order after my former boss of absolutely insanely scary left, she's arranging all kinds of special events for the people here, and she likes you. It would be nice if you could extend some courtesy. Yes, she's pretty heavy. No, it is not appropriate to talk about it. Even to me. Especially to me, since I smiled politely and told you that subject makes me really uncomfortable. I do not like getting cornered and told, 'People like her... it's just sad'. Urgh. It's also hypocritical as hell, but I'm not going to call you on that.
Like when she was arranging a cookie baking event, and you jabbed me with your elbow and raised your eyebrows and went 'mmhmmm!'? Yeah. Unfortunately, I'm still not allowed to tell you off. I did express some annoyance, but it didn't seem to get through. I know you're fully compos and have no trouble thinking, but sometimes the fact somewhat surprises me.
LASTLY. Asking me about my family, and then telling me (when I tell you what she wants to do in college) that my sister is fifteen and has no idea what she wants to do with her life, and that if she's not a caretaker type she 'should get her tubes tied right away the second she gets married', and then telling me maybe she shouldn't get married at all, and then that it doesn't matter because she's fifteen so what does she know, maybe she'll change--um. Dude. We just ran a full spectrum of inappropriate there.
(and I haven't even mentioned the part where you keep telling me that all foreigners are bad and want to steal my car because they're all really illegal immigrants and crack addicts.)
Honestly? I prefer Alberta.
I hope you leave soon. Very little love,
Me.
(no subject)
Date: 2007-06-07 04:34 am (UTC)(Also, your sister is 15? Why did i think she was older than you...?)
(no subject)
Date: 2007-06-07 04:39 am (UTC)(HA! Because everyone does. Everyone. Including people who meet us in person and/or have known us for years.)