"I Just Stood There Whistling 'There Goes the Bride' as She Walked Out the Door..."

[psalm_onethirtyone]

This year, the Episcopal Youth Retreat was just before Lent. As one of our activities, all of us were given a red ribbon and a yellow ribbon. On the yellow ribbon, we were to write a quality of Jesus' that we would like to try to emulate during the Lenten season. I put 'listening to people'; I've told this to quite a few folks now, who've asked.

On the red ribbon, we were to write a sin in us that we wanted to try to overcome. Nobody's asked about my sin.

It was arrogance. And I really, really don't think I'm overcoming it, I don't think so at all. I think it's just getting worse.

Also, my body has stopped working right.

Comments

[tiamatschild.livejournal.com]

*huuuuuuuugs*

[rainbowjehan.livejournal.com]

*hides*

[tiamatschild.livejournal.com]

*sends Babi and a contigent of search and rescue cuddle ferrets after you*

Come on, honey. I know it's hard to accept love when you're upset with yourself, but I love you, and so does God. That's part of the point. You're not supposed to overcome your weaknesses yourself, so it's all right if you can't.

It's fine for me to love you, and it's fine for you to be loved. It doesn't even matter that I'm pretty sure your brain chemistry is screwing with your perception of yourself - even if you were a thousand times worse than you think you are, it would still be just right for me to love you.

*cuddles*

[rainbowjehan.livejournal.com]

Well, that certainly kept me from bursting into tears...!

*clings and flails*

[tiamatschild.livejournal.com]

*cuddlesclose* Is it too late for me to call? I think I'd really like to talk to you.

[rainbowjehan.livejournal.com]

Only I can't, because it is too late and everyone's asleep, and I won't do anything except cry anyway.

[tiamatschild.livejournal.com]

I don't mind crying, baby, not at all. But if you can't, you can't. How about AIM? I'm on right now, although my buddy list is refusing to load.

*huuugs*

[rainbowjehan.livejournal.com]

okay.

[mhari.livejournal.com]

*cuddles you*

Come talk to me?

[rainbowjehan.livejournal.com]

Not when I'm bad. It's not okay.

[mhari.livejournal.com]

*facedesk* don't start that again.

[rainbowjehan.livejournal.com]

It's not okay!

[mhari.livejournal.com]

Yes, it is. I get to say who's allowed to talk to me.

If you don't feel like talking, that's okay too. But please do not involve me in your schemes for self-punishment. I love you, and I like to talk to you regardless of your confidence levels.

[rainbowjehan.livejournal.com]

Sorry about that. >_>

[mhari.livejournal.com]

<3

[rainbowjehan.livejournal.com]

♥!

[erinpuff]

Ohhhhhh, yoooooou. *holds tight* I'm not sure what to say except that I love you.

[rainbowjehan.livejournal.com]

Waugh.

[tomecatti.livejournal.com]

*hug*

You're a wonderful human being and i love you greatly.

[rainbowjehan.livejournal.com]

there has to be some argument for bias.

[tomecatti.livejournal.com]

I'm biased by the fact that you're the sort of person that I like, and the fact that you're so wonderful, maybe.

[rainbowjehan.livejournal.com]

I don't think that's fair, really.

[tomecatti.livejournal.com]

It's not fair to form opinions of people based on how much they rock one's socks?

[rainbowjehan.livejournal.com]

But you only know me through what I write. Maybe it's not objective.

[tomecatti.livejournal.com]

No opinion of anyone is objective; unless God's is, but he'd be a special case. I know you from what you've shown me. We've talked on the phone. You've written me letters. I've watched you RP. I've seen the pictures of the cakes you make, the people you love, the animals you adore. You're delightful, smart, and kind. You have your problems--but everyone has their problems; I'd be more worried if you didn't have flaws. Which isn't to say it's wrong to want to fix them, either, of course. You're human. You're a really, really good human.

[rainbowjehan.livejournal.com]

♥

oh.

[little-lady-d.livejournal.com]

there's something really beautiful about that image -- the two ribbons, yellow and red, one for the person you want to be, and one for the things you need to overcome. yellow is like sunlight.

i haven't been working right, either. let's both wish each other better, miss.

[rainbowjehan.livejournal.com]

I wish you everything beautiful.

[little-lady-d.livejournal.com]

i wish you warm grass to walk barefoot in, a tree to read books of poetry and silly detective stories under, a sky clear-but-not-too-clear, and heart balloons.

metaphorically speaking, of course.

[rainbowjehan.livejournal.com]

I think you are lovely.

[little-lady-d.livejournal.com]

since this a compliment-deflection-free journal, i won't say 'no, not really' -- but i will say 'i think you're loveliness. take that.'

[rainbowjehan.livejournal.com]

oh! you aren't fair. ♥ Thank you.

[lucullean.livejournal.com]

oh, baby.

[rainbowjehan.livejournal.com]

oh, niya.

[elyse24601.livejournal.com]

Lady, from what I understand about sin it's that we're all guilty of it. We're human, we can't help it. I have a negative pride thing going on where I selfishly put myself down to get others to compliment me and other people sleep with their neighbors' spouses and some governors run high-end prositition rings. Absolutely no one's perfection. Even Jesus had table-turning-over temper tantrums.

Thing is, with Christianity, we acknowledge the sin and we're washed clean of it. We let God step in and fix the crumbly bits of ourselves and the sharp, shattered bits of our souls broken in the Fall. I've had a lot of trouble with the idea myself- God wanting us to be perfect and all. That's impossible for anyone human.

We're not the ones who need to overcome ourselves from sheer force of will. All we need to do is to let go of the controls and let God step in. Gaining our lives by losing them and all- it's God who makes things change, not us, hard as that is to accept.

For what it's worth, I don't think you're arrogant in the slightest. Feel better, lady. They didn't ask about your sin because that's already been forgiven. <3

[rainbowjehan.livejournal.com]

Thank you. ♥ It's--good to be reminded.

[bewareofitalics]

Love yooooou. *snuggles*

[rainbowjehan.livejournal.com]

Love youuu.

[nowgoesquickly.livejournal.com]

You are not arrogant. I will be sending a memo to God to that effect, suggesting that you choose a different fault to surmount. Low self-esteem, perhaps? I'm sure God wants you to love and appreciate yourself. ♥

[rainbowjehan.livejournal.com]

Seriously, I am bad. I just choose not to write about in on my journal.