it does, i think -- you find a rhythm in it that's more than just having a schedule; you find what belongs to you, i think. i think that's what happens to me ... i get overwhelmed when i'm in a new place and i'm crowded by people, walk around feeling dazed and anxious and sort of on the edge of panic, forgetting things like my meds and why i should eat, thinking how awkward and unattractive i must be and however everyone must notice -- and it's because i don't know what spaces there are that are just mine, physically and emotionally and also in time, because i don't fit right and i don't know yet how i will. but then things settle, and the spaces come to you, fitting comes to, and a lot of the time you don't even have to look for it -- you're just breathing easier. i don't know if this all makes sense.
good. <3 i sent you a package. it was meant to be a surprise, but.
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Date: 2008-09-03 08:46 pm (UTC)good. <3 i sent you a package. it was meant to be a surprise, but.