"I Thought We'd Be Simple Together..."

[psalm_onethirtyone]

You know what's kind of sad? Every since the doctor doubled my meds, I've stopped crying randomly all over the place. I can focus and get my work done in a timely fashion (unless I purposely procrastinate, but. :P). I can cope on less sleep--I had six hours Sunday night and last night about the same, and I feel fine, it was easy to get up in the morning. I feel peaceful and able to think ahead and pretty much in control of what's going on.

So basically I feel like a normal person, I feel like me again, I feel really good.

The sad part is that Mama doesn't get paid until Friday, so she can't give me money until then, and my scrip runs out to-morrow. I'm cutting back down to one pill a day so I can stretch them out until Thursday, but I'm pretty much fucked. And it's sad because this is such a nice feeling. And I'm going to miss it, is all.

I mean, I'll probably go right back to it once I get my refill, and it's only going to be a few days, but usually going off meds when I've been on them makes me really really sick, physically as well as mentally. So that's depressing.

Probably means I should take advantage of this while it's still here. I wonder how much I can get done to-day. :D

Comments

[erinpuff]

*hugs* Could I PayPal you the money today and have your mom pay me back when she can? It's not fair for you to have to not feel as well as you could because of when your mom's payday is. E-mail me (erinkmaher@gmail.com) or send me a message on Facebook or something.

[rainbowjehan.livejournal.com]

It's just. I think they are seriously expensive and I feel really uncomfortable asking for large amounts of money aflakjfaklsjfas.

[holyschist.livejournal.com]

I would call your doctor and ask if s/he has any samples s/he can give you to get you through until Monday. Doctors generally have samples, and do not approve of patients going on and off meds.

(My NP gives me about three weeks' of free samples every two months; it's not insignificant price-wise.)

[holyschist.livejournal.com]

*Friday

[rainbowjehan.livejournal.com]

I don't know how to reach him. :/ He comes here to visit once monthly and the rest of the time he lives far away, and my last psych charged phone consultation if I called, and our insurance doesn't cover him.

[holyschist.livejournal.com]

Gah. That's really unfortunate. Are you seeing him through some school health services or separately?

I know I can call about refills without getting charged.

[rainbowjehan.livejournal.com]

Yeahh this.

I don't knowww. Anyway, I don't have his phone number, it's weird.

[holyschist.livejournal.com]

That is weird. Well, I hope it goes okay this time, but it might be a good idea to talk to him next time about how to handle this kind of situation if it comes up again.

[rainbowjehan.livejournal.com]

Yeahh. >_>

[tomecatti.livejournal.com]

Is there anyone you have there who could loan you the money? I've loaned for psych meds before. Well, given, because I hate people (who aren't my sister) owing me money. But the idea's the same!

[rainbowjehan.livejournal.com]

I think it's going to be >40 dollars, though, which I would not borrow from anyone.

[tomecatti.livejournal.com]

Maybe you could borrow bits of it from various people? I'd paypal you some, if it would get there in time; your meds are good for you.

(er, that's the "will" form of would, like, if you allow me to.)

[rainbowjehan.livejournal.com]

I just borrowed it off mhari, because evidently if you've known someone a few months shy of six years, you feel like less of a total jerk for loaning money off her.

[rainbowjehan.livejournal.com]

BUT ONLY SLIGHTLY.

[tomecatti.livejournal.com]

Silly! You're not a jerk for needing something and letting people help you get it!

[rainbowjehan.livejournal.com]

;_______;

Really. If you were in the same situation, tell me you wouldn't feel guilty.

[tomecatti.livejournal.com]

... I would. But it's a silly guilt, at least so far as I see it. Because friends are there to help each other, including in cases like this. *hug* I'm sorry if I made you feel worse by calling you silly and stuff >.>;;;

[rainbowjehan.livejournal.com]

No, no, it's okay. <333 I'm just saying. I can't really help the guilt. XD

[softerthansound.livejournal.com]

I'm jealous! Wish I could function on six hours of sleep. ♥

[rainbowjehan.livejournal.com]

I CAN'T NORMALLY.

[mhari.livejournal.com]

What they said. <333

[rainbowjehan.livejournal.com]

I hate borrowing money from people. >_

[raanve]

I agree that you ought to let your doc know - they probably have samples, and will want you to maintain your dosage, especially if it's working so well!

[rainbowjehan.livejournal.com]

See, I can't. um. I can't see him. He doesn't come down to where I can see him except once a month, and the rest of the time he's rilly far away.

[raanve]

Oh shoot. Now I see your replies above re: same.

Well. As others have said - I can PayPal you some monies if you need me to. (I see you were able to get help from Mhari - do know that this offer stands if you should need it. And don't feel funny about it, because I'll just get all Responsible Adult on you. -_^)

I think the next time you see him, you might ask him for samples that you can stash in just such an event. I hope you clear this little bump in the road smoothly! *hugs*

[rainbowjehan.livejournal.com]

I should definitely try this. I have never had a doctor who asked about/offered/suggested samples before! I never even really realised you could do that.

[raanve]

Yeah, it's worth asking about. Both of my doctors have been really great about samples, and have offered them up to bridge gaps in prescriptions (like when the mail-order pharmacy screwed up once) and to help me get by when I didn't have great health insurance/prescription coverage. They are there to help you. :)

[rainbowjehan.livejournal.com]

I will look into it. >_>

[josiana.livejournal.com]

;__; Um, I don't have any new and creative suggestions, but like everyone has said, I'm sure your doctor will be willing to help.

I hope you're going to be okay.

[rainbowjehan.livejournal.com]

But I can't reaaaaach hiiiiiim.

[the-chloroplast.livejournal.com]

What doctor is this? Is this the Generic Alias Name Man or the Closet Prince Man?

[rainbowjehan.livejournal.com]

Closet Prince Man.

[josiana.livejournal.com]

*flails, clings to* ;__; Um. I would suggest sleeping as much as is possible with your schedule, then, but um. That's not very responsible, it's just what I would do.

[rainbowjehan.livejournal.com]

I took advantage of mhari. >_>

[josiana.livejournal.com]

Aw. Sorry. >_>; I didn't have time to read the other comments. But I'm sure she doesn't mind.

[rainbowjehan.livejournal.com]

No, it's okay! --well, I hope so. :P

[the-chloroplast.livejournal.com]

Awww. I'll try to keep you sane, heartling. Just try to keep reminding yourself (I know it's hard) that it's mostly all your subconscious doing nasty things and that the world is still a nice place. We're all rooting for you!

And by "we" I mean me and the voices, because I can't speak for anyone else, but I'm sure they're all rooting for you too!

[rainbowjehan.livejournal.com]

Well, I mean, I can tell myself that all I want, but it's not going to change the fact that the bottom will feel like it's fallen out of the world.