"Their Innocence Will Pull Me Through..."

[psalm_onethirtyone]

I. love the Gospel of Judas okay.

Now I know you are all dying to know What Is Up with the Gospel of Judas so I will tell you. The Gospel of Judas, if you read it, appears to be about what the hell I don't even know this is ridiculous. It is also fragmented, due to having been discovered in the seventies and then shipped around the continental U.S. until 2001 (it spent some time in deep freeze! That is not a stupid thing to do at all! We swear!). But it is actually really really superultramega awesome and sekritly related to the Acts of John, the Gospel of Truth, the First Apocalypse of James, and other non-canonical gospels and letters that are pretty badass in their own obscure ways (more on Acts of John later because it has the Round Dance of the Cross in it and I LOVE the Round Dance of the Cross).

So here is the SEKRIT TRUE MEANING of the Gospel of Judas.

Part I.
Judas' Author: WTF is up with all these martyrdoms. :( I KNOW I WILL WRITE A GOSPEL.

Part II.
Jesus: What up housies.
Disciples: We're having eucharist!
Jesus: Lol fail.
Disciples: :(
Judas: :)?
Jesus: <3!

Part III.
Disciples: We had a bad dream. :(
Jesus: That's because you suck.
Disciples: :( :( :(

Part IV.
Judas: I had a bad dream. :(
Jesus: <3 It's okay, I asplain. See everybody else is having martyrdoms and sacrifices because they think that's what God wants, but actually God says :( to sacrifices because he does not suck. These people think God wants their bodies to suffer and afterward he will make their bodies happeh, but that's not actually how it works. So you get to betray me! :) :) And then my body will DIE and my SOUL will live for-evah which is the whole point.
Judas: :( :( :(

Part V.
Jesus: Now I will be esoteric and talk about the order of the universe.
Judas: OKAY!
Soujin's Brain: *glazes over*

Part VI.
Jesus: So in conclusion people all have potentially holy souls, it's just that some of them learn to realise that potential and some of them CONTINUE TO SUCK I SEE YOU OVER THERE PETER.
Judas: So if I betray you and you die your body will be defunct and your soul will live for-evah because of its Holy Nature and if other people die and they have learned to realise their inner holiness their souls also will live for-evah, but if they die because they want the martyrdom first class ticket to heaven with a shiny body it actually won't work?
Jesus: Correct!
Judas: Yay! *betrays*
Jesus: Yay!
Disciples: *STONE THE HELL OUT OF JUDAS*

The End.

So the whole message of Gospel of Judas is QUIT BEING MARTYRS YOU GIEZ. I am not even making this up. And this is really cool because basically the author was seeing people all around him go YAY IF WE DIE AS MARTYRS WE GET TO GO TO HEAVEN GOD WILL LOVE US and he was going WTF WTF WTF why would God want you to DIE? A loving God couldn't possibly want that!

He also, hilariously, rejected the eucharist because he was all OMG WTF CANNIBALISM WTF WTF. He ALSO rejected the idea that Jesus came back to life in his body for the idea that Jesus' soul was made eternal, which amuses me because it's essentially going NO ZOMBIES FOR U. So all these people who are always getting metaquotes'd for being all "LOL WE R CLEVER MAKIN ZOMBIE JESUS/EUCHARIST CANNIBALISM JOKES LOL" would get on well with Gospel of Judas writer, I guess.

Which brings us to Acts of John, because the author of that was all EW CANNIBALISM so instead of having a eucharist the disciples and Jesus actually dance together while doing a call-and-response deal that is similar in style to Prayers of the People and it is really beautiful, as it happens. & my favourite line is when Jesus says, "Whoever dances belongs to the universe; whoever does not dance does not know what happens". So how's that for subtly badass?

Aaaand I'm done now: but I'm really enjoying religion class.

Comments

[erinpuff]

Ahahaha, I love you so much. <333 ^___^ Also, that dancing thing is awesome.

[rainbowjehan.livejournal.com]

! XD Thank you. --Isn't it totally? I read that and it was just such a beautiful expression.

[saucynuisance.livejournal.com]

o religious ed, i miss thee

[rainbowjehan.livejournal.com]

It is really glorious, let me tell you.

[gileonnen.livejournal.com]

^_______^ I love this a lot.

[rainbowjehan.livejournal.com]

XD Oh good.

[azurai.livejournal.com]

OH MAH GOD, THIS IS FABULOUS. <3. no, seriously, even though I am no longer christian, my day was horrible until just now, and this really improves my mood. <3.

[rainbowjehan.livejournal.com]

True Fact: No matter what gospel you adhere to, it sucks to be Judas. XD

<333! ♥

[tomecatti.livejournal.com]

I think part III is my favorite XDXD

[rainbowjehan.livejournal.com]

WORD. FOR. WORD, TOM. XD

[raanve]

See, I wish that I had known about the Gospel of Judas when I was in high school doing my confirmation classes (yes! I am a confirmed and no-longer-practicing Catholic!). I would have had so much fun blowing SO MANY MINDS, even though I think the Gospel of Judas is considered apocrypha or something and probably doesn't count.

I had a good understanding of the Gospels, though, and I feel like I would have had a totally different understanding if only I'd known! The Judas problem always bothered me - everyone's all hating on Judas, but he fulfilled God's plan for him in a way that is really unrivaled by other disciples. (All of this from the now non-Christian agnostic. Ha.)

[rainbowjehan.livejournal.com]

It's just non-canonical, like all the other gospels that Iranaeus didn't okay.

Which is really hinted at in the synoptic gospels, if you look--I mean, John really harshes on him, but John hates everyone pretty much. So.

[reconditarmonia.livejournal.com]

♥ ♥

I think that quote about dancing needs to be on a t-shirt.

[rainbowjehan.livejournal.com]

I KNOW RIGHT?

[reconditarmonia.livejournal.com]

I could make one!

[rainbowjehan.livejournal.com]

You so should.

[reconditarmonia.livejournal.com]

Would you buy it? (Academic Team desperately needs money, haha.)

[rainbowjehan.livejournal.com]

Actually, I would consider it, yes.

[reconditarmonia.livejournal.com]

Eeeee. I will make designs and you can tell me if they are good.

[rainbowjehan.livejournal.com]

Okay!

[reconditarmonia.livejournal.com]

(what style/color? t-shirt, long sleeves, sleeveless?)

[rainbowjehan.livejournal.com]

I only wear short or three-quarter sleeves, because I am a picky picky dreadful person. Also I need more dark shirts.

[reconditarmonia.livejournal.com]

How's this?

[reconditarmonia.livejournal.com]

Or this - is this the right direction to be going in?

[rainbowjehan.livejournal.com]

I like the first one better, I think.

[rainbowjehan.livejournal.com]

I love itttt.

[reconditarmonia.livejournal.com]

There's also this and this, which are similar but don't have the whole quote.

[rainbowjehan.livejournal.com]

Oooh. Okay. The last one.

[reconditarmonia.livejournal.com]

yay!

[rainbowjehan.livejournal.com]

Me and my empty bank account hope you appreciate this.

Also, nitpicky--it's not actually from the Gospel of Judas, it's from the Acts of John.

[reconditarmonia.livejournal.com]

eeee! thank you!

ohdear I fail at reading. *fixes*

[rainbowjehan.livejournal.com]

<3 I think it's pretty awesome.

XD np.

[the-chloroplast.livejournal.com]

See, this is why I love Judas. Because I agree with the man who wrote his gospel, and also I love him for doing what he thought was right. Also the irony of him dying as a kind of martyr is not lost on me, but I think in his case it counts.

[rainbowjehan.livejournal.com]

Ahaha yes well that was intentional. Because see he's the RIGHT kind of martyr! He managed to transcend his soul and thus he will be granted everlasting life the right way. XD